Now before I say why I'm asking this question I'm hoping that I can get non-judgemental and helpful criticism from people here and not "gay bashing." Thank you.
In my life growing up I always felt that you have to like one gender only. When I knew I liked guys early on I thought hey I must be gay so I finally came out a year ago. The thing is though, I always was attracted to girls too but the thought of liking both seemed wrong to me in some ways but finally I got the courage to open up all over again not too long ago.
My question is, am I selfish when in the future I see myself with both a guy and a girl? I can't help but feel my life wouldn't be the same without either and would it be wrong if they both liked eachother as well as liking me? Would there really be anything wrong if we all agreed to dating eachother?
2006-11-14 11:28:52 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I think you are describing a polyamorous dynamic. There are plenty of people who also feel this way, whether they identify as bisexual or omnisexual. Sexuality is fluid and changes throughout a person's life time. There are plenty of people who are in polyamorous relationships and as long as all parties agree to this arrangement, I do not see there would be a problem. Just like any other relationship type, communication is essential, between all parties.
Check out the link below for more information.
Polyamory is the practice or lifestyle of being open to having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved.
2006-11-14 11:48:04 · answer #1 · answered by Orditz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't think you're wrong for being gay or straight or bi.....but, I think it's wrong to be involved with 2 people at once. It would be wrong if it was a straight male stringing along 2 females, it would be wrong if it was a straight female doing it to 2 males, and I think it's wrong if it's a bi male doing it to a male and a female.
I don't think this is so much a sexual orientation question as it is a matter of commitment and trust. So, I obviously won't judge you for being attracted to both sexes....but my own personal belief is that a relationship is between two people and you have to work on making that commitment to that person work. There's something very special about a relationship with ONE other person---there's no 3rd party, there's no taking sides, there's no feeling left out---there's a kindred bond between the two of you and an understanding that no other person on earth comes before that other person. If a 3rd person is involved, you dilute that "only, always you. first and last" mentality that comes with sharing a life with just one other person
Anyway, having *said* all that---that's why I would never be in a relationship with a person who was also with someone else---but you do sound fair and honest about your intentions by saying "if we all agreed...." so, really, I guess it's up to the 3 of you
2006-11-14 11:54:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not being selfish. You're just being who you really are. As long as the three of you establish some sort of arrangement wherein no one gets hurt, then there's nothing wrong with it. Just make sure that all of you do stick with the arrangement. Coz if someone falls for another, things might get too complicated.
2006-11-14 11:33:01 · answer #3 · answered by - iceman - 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What it sounds like to me is that you are looking for a open relationship/marriage. There are couples out there that have that but it can be difficult at times. If you are with another person and they are open to that idea and you guys meet someone else with the same mindset I don't see why it couldn't work.
2006-11-14 11:35:08 · answer #4 · answered by sunniej1977 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is quite a multiple sided question.
Legally, yes, it probably would be wrong. In modern culture, yes, it would also probably be considered wrong.
I myself am inclined to say as long as all parties involved know ALL of whats going on and are ok with it, its not all that bad. However, if one of your partners wants or thinks they're in a monogamous relationship, then its very wrong.
2006-11-14 11:34:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being selfish. But when Mr. or Ms. right comes along you'll know it and you will know who you want to be with and gender won't matter. Gender is only a characteristic but love is one thing that you cannot change! GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-11-14 12:29:23 · answer #6 · answered by simarik757 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey---if this is your lifestyle and you are lucky enough to find people that also like the same then b al means go for it and have a good time-Do not have guilt feelings ---wish I was so lucky
2006-11-14 11:32:36 · answer #7 · answered by willtdn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wanting happiness is not selfish, but choosing someone to spend your life with will be hard as your partner, male or felamle will want you all to themselves
2006-11-14 15:54:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can find people who are into that and you all truly love each other then I hope you are happy. Love is the key
2006-11-14 12:01:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not a matter of being selfish, you are mixed up. Why not try some counseling?
2006-11-14 11:34:45 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋