Well .. where can i start.. i have been on here before talking about my issue's about my husband was very emotional and verbal abuse. In the relationship So i couldn't take it no more.But i wasn't sure to leave him because i was having alot of HOPE he will change or aleast care to fix our marriage, but what really got worst . is when his mother and his family got to much involed in our marriage. He such a "Mother's boy" that when we fight, he leave's me without money, take the keys from the SUV and walk's out on me leaving me with the children alone. So he can go to his mother's house because he is very anger at me.So i have forgive him alot. The bad thing of myself I have look for him to come back to me. Thats where i felt i was stupid for doing that, cause he never told me he was sorry of nothing. So now we are getting divorce. our apartment is all lonely and he went back living with his mother's and family. So i did too.. So now he doesn't pay child support or nothing
2006-11-14 11:27:17 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I really feel So Sad how things came down too. I didn't filed divorce He did.. But i did ask him one night that i did call him.. knowing i should not have.. But i was soo upset.. because in medation he didn't accpet nothing So i call him to ask him why he is doing this to us and why the divorce . he answers telling me. ( U left Me ) but i didn't He kick me out his life. SO now he just want to fight sole custody for our daughter but he hasn't bond with his daughter or hasn't take care of her since she was born. He claims to say he is a good father but he hasn't done nothing for her.
So yetersday it was his 1st visitation to come to see his daughter , He came to my parents house, But he act all cold with me. He didn't say hello or nothing. He just want to take the baby and Not talk to me. And then again his mother around him. She also came too. I don't know what to do. I know everyone tells me to be strong and forget him. He is no Good. But i still love him. Thats what is hurting me
2006-11-14 11:28:00 · update #1
Well, I'm one of those who will tell you to be strong. However, I don't think you actually understand what that means. I'm not saying keep a stiff upper lip. I'm saying TAKE CHARGE! Girl, you sound as sweet as they come. Probably don't deserve any of this. The stress is building up and you have no idea what to do to relax. Well, unfortunately it's not time to relax. YOU need to get in the drivers seat from now on. You need to get closely involved with this case! If you don't have a lawyer, get one tomorrow. Your finances are shared so in essence your husband will be paying for it. Your not just fighting your husband, but his entire family it looks like. The time for being nice is past. Believe me your husband will respect you for this if not just because he will have to. Make sure you give kindness for kindness, and bitterness for bitterness. Sort of a Pavlov's dog for your husband. He will soon learn that you are not going to be a rug, and start treating you with a bit more tact! Good luck girl! Your going to need it!
2006-11-14 11:46:05 · answer #1 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Husbands and wives do argue, quarrel and fight. It is a question of more or less. However, most couples will make up (or try to make up) after the "storm blows over".
If I am not wrong, it seemed that you were the one who initiated the "kiss and make up", all the times, and that could be the tell-tale sign that you were the one who had always been more anxious/concerned about the relationship.
Since you did admit to still love him very much, and I believe that you hope to be able to be together with him (whatever his flaws), then I suggest that you try to meet up with him for a heart-to-heart talk. Take note that the meeting, if he agreed to it, should involve only both of you. Do not drag your daughter along, etc.
Prepare yourself well for the face-to-face meeting (you might have many important points to bring up, and do at least take note of them in advance). Some of these points may stir emotion, but you have to keep reminding yourself never to lose any temper.
Do not be feel awkward when meeting him. *You can always treat him as a close friend. Show care & concern. You may proceed from the perspective of wanting to know what your faults (if any) are, and you would like him to enlighten you. Let him bring up points in which he had been unhappy with you (nothing to lose anyway, since the aim of the meeting session is to salvage your marriage), and that you will be trying your best to change on the more glaring faults(?!).
Be strong. Sometimes we compromise for some worthy causes: family, marriages, etc. However, the secrets to happiness depends on yourself - how you live your life.
2006-11-14 12:15:40 · answer #2 · answered by dreamofyz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your problems. You deserve much better than he has given you. No one deserves to be "verbally" or "physically" abused. Staying in such a relationship only erodes your self esteem and teaches your children the wrong idea about marriage.
Get yourself a lawyer. He will have to pay child support or he will go to jail. Let them deal with him. Just because he "wants" sole custody doesn't mean he is going to get it.
Make sure you have as much "documentation" about your life with him as possible. Get some character witnesses to stand up for you. Bring anyone to court as a witness who can testify as to how he treated you during your marriage. If a witness is unable to go to the hearing, get a written character statement.
You need to be strong now, for yourself and your child. If you need to find a support group to attend please do so. Sometimes it helps to meet with other people who are going through the same thing. They can give you the emotional support you need to get through this.
Please remember that you deserve to be treated with love and respect. Every may out there is NOT like your husband! There are some good men out there and when you are ready, I hope you find one.
I wish you all the best, good luck and God bless.
2006-11-14 11:41:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
can't go back into emotional abuse, just because we love someone. his mom has alot to do with his decisions, unfortunatly when we marry someone we also marry the families. he isn't sorry for anything, he is immature, and moslikely his mom didn't teach him much when he was growing up, she mostlikely gave him everything, and never made him accountable for a thing. u have a right to ask for child support, it is his responsibility to pay for his child. it will take time to get through this emotionally, because we loved this person, and don't understand why they are being so hurtful to us, alot has to do with his mom giving him advice. u need to move on and get a divorce, and take care of your baby, and find someone else who will treat u better. he leaves u without because he truly doesn't care about u.
2006-11-14 11:40:19 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Akuma! i wish your ok, get better quickly! Sorry you had to bypass to the well being facility! Hospitals are literally not relaxing position to be, fantastically once you may wait contained in the ER for 2 hours earlier someone sees you! Yeah thats proably only what occurs to me.. yet in any case get better quickly! Which anime has the saddest ending? Why do you imagine so? Elfen Lied had an particularly unhappy ending, I almost cried. i did not like the way it replaced right into a cliffhanger because we not in any respect discover out who replaced into behind the door! The anime did come to a call most of the flaws, yet i concept the manga replaced right into somewhat extra precise. even as Lucy were given her horn shot off, it replaced into adequate to make me want to leap through the demonstrate and shoot the soldier adult males proper back. Bonus Q: Do yo have a note that you hate or dislike even as someone says it? Why? some thing that is fairly MTV-ish. Like "dunzo" or "splitsville," or caf as in cafeteria! :-P
2016-11-24 19:59:15 · answer #5 · answered by mill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All divorces are sad, doesn't sound to me like he is much of a man, hand in there it all gets better, i promise you that. You will get custody of you child and he will pay child support, or his mama will for him, and I know how sad and angry you are and lonely, lost, and you probably blame yourself for this mess, but it's not your fault and please please believe me..... it does get better and easier, and less lonely, you will be a stronger person because of this. Been thru this same situation, people told me the same thing I'm telling you and no I did not believe them, but NOW I KNOW IT IS TRUE so hang in there and good luck
2006-11-14 11:37:57 · answer #6 · answered by inmate3685 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to http://www.divorcebusting.com
it's a great site. Believe me you are NOT alone. You might not want to bust the divorce either, but you'll learn how to feel better about yourself, to not fight and use your kids against him even if he is a loser.
The DB site does great work on how to change yourself so you can get through the worst of this. New strategies to mange yourself during a bad period.
2006-11-14 11:34:52 · answer #7 · answered by teritaur 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like an ***! You are way better off without him. Go out with other guys. go out and just have fun by yourself or with your kids. Enjoy the nice mellow life now that his *** is gone.
Join a group of other divorced people so you can talk about your problems too.
2006-11-14 11:32:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to stop loveing your x all he going to do is to hurt you more and more.you need to go out and find your self a real nice guy and really get to know him.that well get your mind off of your x.i just went though d divorce with my x wife so i know how you fell and what you are going though.so if you every want to talk e- mail me ok.take care
2006-11-14 15:48:01 · answer #9 · answered by little_bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation is going to take time! Time to heal check out some churches wacth diary of a mad black woman by tyler perry that would be perfect for this time! good luck!
2006-11-14 11:32:23 · answer #10 · answered by God's chosen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋