Please help me?

Question

I want to leave my husband and transfer to another State to start my life there. I know I'm married to my husband and it's an adultery to remarry; but I just want to leave him to find my future. I don't want to remarry; I just want to have a brighter future. My husband don't have plan for the two of us. He had already five grown up kids from his first ex-wife. I don't see anything that he had plans for me. He bought a land for his grown up kids, saves money for his grown children, coz he told me that they were black american and no future in this world and me I have a lot of future because I'm Asian. We don't have yet kids; I'm not sure if he want baby from me. Of course, a woman want to have a baby of her own. But as if I'm not married and don't have husband. He much care for his grown up kids ages 29 to 33 years old and grandchildren. He also arguing me to work; because he wants me to contribute to the expenses to pay the bills. My husbands grown up kids always asking for money

My question is…I want to leave my husband and transfer to another State and live with my Auntie in California. I’m afraid my husband will going to loan and have a lot of debt that I didn’t incurred. I want to clean my name free from debt of my husband. We’re just married 2004 (2 ½ years) and I’m from another country so I’m just only a permanent resident here not a citizen of USA. My husband include me with his credit cards, credit union loan accounts. As I’ve noticed we don’t have savings and debit card, all our bank accounts is negative balance. Debts, loans, credits have much more higher amount than his savings. I want to remove all my names in those credits which I’m the secondary holder of those credit cards and credit union account. I’m just only using one credit card (as a secondary holder and my husband is the primary owner) which I used only for our grocery/foods necessity besides from that I don’t have any loans, debts from his credit cards and other accounts.

What will I do if I transfer to another States in California and free myself from my husband’s debt which I didn’t incurred. I want to start my life clean, and fresh. Can I do that when I'm in California and do the plan there because I cannot do anything here because I'm afraid he might do harm with me I want to leave him without telling him one day and just leave a note that I'm already in California and he is free of taking care of his grown up kids.

Answer 1

Leave him... I know that asian women like black men.... You have so much to live for than to put up with his crap. Contact an office called "WE THE PEOPLE" and ask for advice. There is also LEGAL AID that is there to support women in your shoes. Take a stand and have pride in yourself. You don't have any kids with this man, thank God, so go for it!!! You can do anything you want in life.

Answer 2

Well, I can understand why you are confused.I'm wondering how long you knew your husband before you married,and did you know before you married that he had five grown kids? and did he ever mention that he was setting up some security for them before he passed away? Marriage is a joint responsibility! And if any of the credit cards were activated after marrrage,by law holds both of you responsible for any debits aquired from that date on,even if you divorce,because they were activated during your marriage.Creditors can garnish your wages and if you receive a refund from your tax return,they can take that also.I would get a job ( asap )...and sit down with your husband and tell him you have no problem working to help keep your heads above water.But you would like to open a checking account in your name only and what ever percentage of your income that both of you agree to that should be put back to take care of the bills, should be divided between the two of you.Meaning he gives you half and you contribute half and it will be put into your account to help with the bills, deposit slips will prove that both are holding up their end of the bargain.I don't know what else to say.
Good luck, and hope that the information that I have submited helps.

Answer 3

Don't live in a misery just pack your stuff just your personal stuff and get out of dodge. Do not tell anyone where you are going and if the creditors start calling you just tell them they will have to contact your ex husband because he is the major cardholder besides it sounds to me like he only has you there for a maid service life is to short to live this way God will forgive you all you have to do is ask. Go be free and let him have his grown children to his self.

Answer 4

Can't you first divorce? Maybe it's going to be easier that way. So you could start your new life fresh. Talk to a lawyer first, so you keep your american residence safe. Hurry! good luck

Answer 5

this one woman at work packed up her stuff and left her husband in virginia and moved to delaware while he was at work. she started her life over. she is not divorced yet, maybe she never will be, but she has a boyfriend. and she hasn't seen her husband since.

Answer 6

sounds like you married a real loser
get away from his as fast as you can