I have been with my man for three years. He is a wonderful man, and I love him to death but I need to leave him. I love him but I am not IN love with him anymore.
He’s older and ready to get married and all that stuff that goes along with that... I am not. I have been thinking about moving back in with my mom so that I can start my life all over again. I have no money and lots of bills so I have to start all over. I need to learn how to support myself before I can marry someone.
This will be the hardest thing I have ever done... does anyone have advice on how to call it off with out devastating him? Or can someone help me a little and build me up to go through with this? I love him, I just can give him the commitment that he wants.
2006-11-14 09:53:24 · 14 answers · asked by girl_in707 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well I think that its wonderful that you have come to conclustion before saying I do. I think you should be honest and open with him. Tell him that you want to be alone and that you want out of the relationship so that you may grow as a person. You want to learn how to do things on your own and that your too young and you realized that you dont want to be in a relationship anymore. The truth sometimes hurt but it sometimes its best. People get better closure by the truth rather than the lies to spare their feelings. Just be open and honest with him either way he is going to be hurt and there is nothing that you can do to change that.
2006-11-14 10:06:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest and straight with him. Basically tell him what you told us above and he will understand. He may get hurt a little but everyone knows there are chances in relationships. Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. But as you say hes older so he ll understand and get over it and move on. He may come up with some stupid bs to save you but you know whats best for you and stick to it. Also tell him that no one knows what could happen on down the road once youre older and more mature. Good luck
2006-11-14 18:03:18 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On breaking the news you think like this " I am only one;but I am still one.I cannot do everything(commitment that he wants),but still I can do something,I will not refuse to do the something I can do"...that's what you're thinking.Well but efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.Act quickly;think slowly!
Now to build up yourself again! You are more wonderful than you know! You're smarter,kinder and more capable and creative than you give yourself credit for and so much prettier than you think.You have so many qualities,you don't notice,but person like me can.Others they don't see the flaws you focus.
Go back to school/college and learn,supporting yourself is by way doing Job/business.Move back and than go forward.
2006-11-14 18:24:13 · answer #3 · answered by precede2005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him that you need some time apart and that you are not sure the relationship is what you want out of life. You could change your mind in a month or two so do not close the door completely however if you decide then that is something that you do not want then you need to tell him once and for all that you need to break up with him. You need to be honest and up front with him and not lead him on...good luck!
2006-11-14 17:58:44 · answer #4 · answered by tigerlily_catmom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your saying that,I'm going to refer to him as ( devoted ) has already poped the question; and you don't know how to explain to him how you feel? Devoted has obviously made sure that you do not want for anything and wants to sucure what makes you happy.Your honesty with him showes your respect and I'm sure that is what he would expect from you just as you would with him.If you are honest about wanting to see if you can handle responsibilty and be an independent indvidual,tell him you like to get a job an arrange for yourself the goal you are striving for.Tell him that you want this for yourself before you marry.I'm sure that Devoted will understand that.Or if you are just not comfortable with being in the relationship anymore, is the reason you feel the need to move out.Then don't feed him a lot of hog wash thats only going to hurt him in the end anyway.Be honest with yourself before you confront him.good luck
2006-11-14 19:22:14 · answer #5 · answered by jam b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest the honest approach. Just tell him how you feel and the reasons. I think even though he probably doesn't want to hear the truth he will appreciate the truth and be able to accept you leaving more if he knows the facts and definitely hearing it straight from you. Be totally sure of what you want before you break the news to him though.
2006-11-14 18:01:31 · answer #6 · answered by Chuck C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As devastating as the news will be to him, you have to also look at the quality of your life as well. You admitted that you are not in love with him, so to be fair to yourself and to him, you need to tell him. How??? I have no clue. Life is too short to be miserable and not saying that you are miserable but prolonging the inevitable is misery on your part and also unfair to him as well. I wish you the best of luck and be strong. Its your life too.
2006-11-14 18:22:42 · answer #7 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello dear
one day a the time find a job first put money in the bank
and find a place to stayand carry on you have only one life so bite on it be happy for youself . so enjoy your new life babe
2006-11-14 18:20:55 · answer #8 · answered by upeteto 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him what you just told us. he will be hurt, but he will understand. you have to be honest if you are ever going to forgive yourself for doing this. and hopefully he will see that you are doing the mature thing by trying to help yourself before you maybe end up hurting someone else.
2006-11-14 17:57:59 · answer #9 · answered by pikachu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So basically you lost interest in him. Probably a long time ago, but you can't support yourself, so you stayed around longer?
Just tell him you lost interest in him and your relationship and leave then.
2006-11-14 18:40:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋