Bullying???

Question

I'm not sure what to do, my son is usually very sociable and has never had a problem making friends.......But this new school year which started Sept it seems a lot of his usual friends have turned their back on him, he has not been invited to the usual birthday parties etc.........He says they won't let him play football because they say he is too rough, I said the obvious answer "try not to play so rough"........... Or I will buy your own ball so you can choose who you want to play with.......But now they have started kicking etc.........He has told the teachers a few times....He is quite thick skinned and has only just started saying bits to me, now do I

1) go to the school and report it, which will jepordise there friendship totally..........

2) Leave him to figure it out for himself, he needs to learn what makes mates and what doesn't, and only intervene if he is having problems everyday and if its affecting his character......

3) Tell them to give them a blinkin great big boot back when they kick him

He is the tallest in his year and is a big lad

He is not usually the hitting kicking type?!?!?

I was wondering if my son has to learn to curb his behaviour, he is a bit rough when playing chase etc he is boisterous........

But he never hits anyone or kicks, it might be his mates trying to communicate thats why im not sure about involving the school...my son is only 7 ....

Answer 1

I know it will be hard for you,but try to let go.Your son needs to go through this on his own.If you go to the school at this stage then he won't have any friends at all.Try to encourage him to take up other interests to meet other people.Try inviting some of his friends to tea etc. When you have free time with him do lots of sporty things to burn off his access energy.
This is a phase all kids go through.If this persists try talking to his teacher. It is very hard for you too, as a parent.I know-I have four boys!!

Answer 2

Hello Angel,

I've got to say, i've experienced the same situation as your son did. Im now 19 and have friends who do THE SAME THING as what is being done to your son.
Now I know that fighting back has its pros and cons.. but don't let your son lose the friends he had who are now treating him badly.
It is really tough these days to make new friends speacially in a new school year, or if worst, last year of school for him. Your the mom, try to organize something cool for your son and his friends. Maybe like a sleepover, or tickets to a game (Hockey, Basketball). The more interesting things that happen the more his friends will think.. Hmm, maybe we outta give him another chance.
I do know from experience they cannot take it much further, for their parents will take desperate measures and WONT ALLOW things to progress at all between one another.
Give some time to your son and his friends, better yet try to see what they always do. Going to the school and telling on his friends parents isnt such a good idea, for they will call each other "snitch" sorry to say that.. but in teenage years.. thats true. Time is the key here Angel. Your son will find new friends, and better yet keep the old ones too.. Happens to all of us in life.

I really hope this will help your son Angel
Take to him.. take time :).
Sincers
SHawn Miller
Toronto, Ontario< Canada

Answer 3

When I was being bullied at school my mum came into the school and found not only where the kids bullying me but the teacher was as well. You need to go into the school and tlk to the principal/dean of the school and then to his class teacher even just to see if they've noticed anything different. ask your son what he wants to do. I was the same age he was when kids started to bully me. you need to get it sorted one way or the other little kids can be really nasty. Tlk to the other kids parents have a sitdown with your son and the other boys find out what is really going on. Remember too that they could feel like the enjured party and are just protecting themselves.

I hope you and your son will find the right solution good luck ;)

Answer 4

Well is there something on at home that is causing him to have some problems at school? Is there a reason why the kids do not want to be his friend? Take in some considerations like that.
They may grow out pf it and then back off but I do agree that you should report it but then you have to think about ur son and if reporting it would be worse on him.

Answer 5

The simple answer to bullying is the three strike rule:

They kick / hit him - he asks them to stop.

They do it again - he tells them he won't put up with it.

And again - He takes them out.

Bullies thrive on people who take abuse after abuse and do not fight back. Do not allow your son to become intimidated or meek as this will carry though to his later life. Give them the 2 chances to back off - if they carry on then show them why they shouldn't mess with you.

Inevitably, the school will call you and tell you your son has had a fight - back him up, let them know he has only had to take matters onto his own hands due to the ineffective policies of the school who have allowed the bullying to continue despite repeated reports.

Most importantly, let your son know you love him, do not think any less of him and are proud of him.

Answer 6

I say number one...bullying is an extreme problem that has to be worked out carefully...if you talk to the teachers you can find out the whole story, which is very important. Also, if you are concerned about your son losing his friends, simply tell the teacher(s) that your worries on this matter, and ask that things be kept confidential so that your sons friends dont know that he "tattled" on them.

Answer 7

If the bullying incidents take place on the school grounds, he should report it to the teachers or administration. If his "friends" bully him then they're not really his friends and he should find new people to get along with.
Repeated bullying can cause low self-esteem and other emotional problems. Make sure your son knows that his family is supportive.

Answer 8

everyone likes to think theyre kids are not the cause of trouble are you really sure he,s not doing anything to them? my son also 7 went through something similar and it really upset me he,s not violent at all but can be cheeky i went to the school and found out he,s not the angel i thought he was he had said something really hurtfull to a boy and the boy belted him he told me this kid had hit him for nothing.you do what you think is right but make sure you know the facts unlike i did.good luck

Answer 9

go into school and speak to his teachers, they may be able to sort this out without causing further problems for your son. My daughter was being bullied at the beginning of last year, we went into school and spoke to her head of year, who had words with the bullies and she hasn't had a problem since.

Answer 10

i read in a newspaper once a child was getting bullyed in school and the mother called the police but i carnt remember wat happened about it but maybe u could consider it as an option also u could think about suing the school on behalf of your son and maybe get some compensation and also i think u should report it to the school because u never know maybe they could help with counciling ect