should I leave, am I emotionally abused by all surrounding me?

Question

I was abused as a child, my mother is still with him, they live next door, he always accused me of looking to have sex with someone everytime I wanted to do something with school, now my boyfriend accuses me of wanting someone else if I work in a bar( as a bartender) or selling roses, I feel like I have traded my step father for my boyfriend that they are almost one in the same. to both anytime I want to do anything I am wanting to run the streets and be a whore. I am not a "cheater" as my boyfriend coins the phrase, but am constantly under suspicion, I cannot go anywhere .my mother also comes over and has to discuss her lack of sexual relations with my step father and his internet activities. all her suspicions of infidelities on his part I feel like I am surrounded by people who only care about sex, and who only think that is what my brain consists of. Everything else I do is belittled, ridiculed, even that is critisized. I am depressed, seems like its been a problem my whole life!

Answer 1

Have you ever actually taken the time to tell your mother about the sexual abuse you experienced at the hands of her partner? Now might be a good time to mention it since you are an adult. The fact that he is a child molester would probably explain the lack of sexual relations as well. If you surround yourself with people who think so little of you, any new people you meet will get the same information from your friends and assume the same thing. Personally, I would leave. Start over. Somewhere else, far from everyone you know. Give yourself a little dignity and respect. If you are not willing to seek the change for your own benefit, then do not waste your time feeling sorry for yourself.

Answer 2

In a behavioral science called "Relational Diagnostics", some medical professionals believe that a family with a lot of problems is a "Dysfunctional Family".

This is only a label, but it sort of means the problems of the individuals seperately, and the family as a whole seem to exacerbate, (make worse), each other. This is presently a new view of developing psychology that is highly contested.

The problem is there is an oppositional relationship between diagnosis and treatment theories. This opposition creates what is called a "Paradox".

In short, this is the paradox:

Systemic Diagnosis Paradox

Dysfunctional people can cause confusion and chaos in their relationship systems.

Dysfunctional relationship systems can cause psychological symptoms in their members.

If a helping professional perceives psychological disorders as within an individual, subsequent diagnosis and treatment will focus on the individual.

If a helping professional perceives psychological disorders as within a relationship system, subsequent diagnosis and treatment will focus on the relationship system.

If you want to know if your family is the problem, and how it may affect you try taking this "Dysfunctional Family" test:

http://www.queendom.com/tests/minitests/fx/dysf_family.html

If the family is Dysfunctional, you can leave and things may get better, but there may always be problems, both for you, and for your family and other relationships. You could also try to get some help, but remember that there are several kinds of professionals and they will have differing viewpoints on how to help you. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Run Run Run and never look back. I came from a similar background. Email me if you need to talk. Everything will work out if you get away from these people in your life.

Answer 4

get out of this no win situation!! get some counseling, you are worth --don't let these abusers set the course for the rest of your life....make your own path...you are a good person, they are the evil ones.

Answer 5

what u need to do is focus on what u want--decide what u want in life--go 4 it now--4 get what they think--dont let them manipulate you or control you--you got 1-life girl---take it 4 yourself

Answer 6

leave, youll be much better off.