What are some techniques to wipe my butt.?

Question

After a BM I wipe and wipe, but am never able to keep my butt clean.

Answer 1

You need to learn how to use the three shells.

Answer 2

hey TODD: Stand up when wiping. Dont sit down on the bowl like a lazy *** f-u-c-k.
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Then SPREAD THOSE CHEEKS WIDE & dig in like a roto-rooter .

use force & pressure

USE SOAP & some water

keep wiping this way till paper come out clean white with no S-H-I-T ON IT ANYMORE.

Dry off good.

Don't be so lazy, TODD - you're a big boy now & need to clean that filthy A-S-S -

so take the time & effort to do the right thing. & use some paper towels if need be.

Are U clear now about this matter????? I hope so.

You'll smell better - & your family will love you for it.

Answer 3

Is it hairy...like a corn catcher?? skidmark central?? Dogs like to follow you around?? Are you a fat slob that cant reach it good? Um...maybe you should skip the wiping and get a garden hose...or you could try some Masingel dousch...perhaps forego the t.p. for a washcloth and a scrub brush...maybe your mom will wipe it for you, or does she still??

Answer 4

Wait to have a BM until just before you shower.

Answer 5

Buy a shower head that has a hose attachment that can be hand-held. After your morning poop, jump in the shower and squat down while holding the shower head behind you and you have your own impromptu bidet!

Answer 6

Tie a wet towel with some bleach cleaner on the end of the toilet cleaner brush and wipe...it'll reach your bungholio for you good. :)))) Good luck to you

Answer 7

Try whipping with toilette paper and Vaseline. It will dissolve any lefts of fecal material and whip away with soft paper.

Answer 8

You are using the paper on the little roll by the pot aren't you?

Answer 9

Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww,I'd hate to be the person who sorts your laundry.Let it dry then use sandpaper.

Answer 10

LOL....try baby wipes :)