How do I get my grumpy , spoiled, husband to cheer up and calm down?

Question

My hubby is a spoiled brat, 4 years younger than me , and we have 2 sons a 2yr old and and 6 month old, I also have a 10 year old not my husbands. he is cheap , always has been. He recently changed our bank account so that i don't have access to it and went on vacation to his country and came home with a condom, he says his cousin told him to hold it. I am a stay at home mom and don't work. I have a credit card that i use for food and stuff and he pays for it. He bought me a brand new 2006 toyota, sienna, in march. and he always pays the mortgage, and all of the bills. In my heart I know he is insecure, for may reasons i can list here due to time and space, but it bothers me he has control issues. And FYI get and give great sex. I pretty much do believe him when he says he's never cheated, and his mother was the one who encouraged him to change the bank account , during a big fight we had while she was visiting. she hates me and my older son, and gives my husband the worst advice ever,

the worst part is he is an only child, and she had a 4yrold who died. so he got super spoiled. Also the other day while angry i looked at some apartment flyers at the mall and he has been all nicy nice nice since then, probably thinks I'm gonna leave of something. but I won't he works from 530Am til usually 730pm and drives an hour to his job everyday. I want him to change his attitude and enjoy our family life, appreciate me, and my kids. What do you think i can do to improve things and why do you think he is so miserable all the time? He is a good guy, and i have no plans to leave him. he's just always complaining about things that are out of my control and Fyi I get up with the kids all through the night myself, wake up an make his breakfast , lunch , and have his dinner ready. Clean the house , kids, everything. He only works at his job. not at home. so lack of equality is an issue for us. hope you can offer me some good suggestions. thanks in advance , Meg mom of 3 boys & a dog :)

Oh and before we had the kids I did work full time and commuted for an hour both ways. when the kids were born he decided I should stay home with our kids.and I agreed to.and FYI I was the bread winner for the first 4 years of our marriage , and at no time during my single mother hood did i collect any Public assistance so I have no problems returning to work and supporting myself and my children. And actually when I married my husband he had no job.then a cruddy one which i told him to quit because it wasn't worth it. he and I both have college educations, and he is going for his CPA, and masters.

Answer 1

Sounds like if you could get him away from Mama for a while you may stand a chance in changing the selfish bastard. Until Mama's gone, ...sorry honey put up with him or leave him

Answer 2

Honey, it sounds like he cheated....and on top of it has major control issues. Hire a good lawyer and set a court date. It is time to go!!!

Answer 3

It sounds like things aren't great but could be worse. I would strongly suggest couples counseling if you two have already sat down and were unable to sort things out on their own.

Answer 4

Get off your BUTT and get a job. A real one, it would mean going to school, and maybe studying first. But stop being a physical drain on your husband. He wont tell you this, but this is more than likely the reason his mother HATES you. It would definitely explain why he kicked you out of his account. Just about every woman these days has a career, if you don't get on the ball, this type of woman will end up with your husband eventually.

Answer 5

this is 2006 get someone that will treat you right. there are plenty of men out there not boys

Answer 6

Don't be stupid, everyone knows he cheated...