help about a husband?

Question

I've been with my husband for 2 years and we have a 10 month old girl. He's a great guy and a good dad, the only thing bad about his is 1) he has a very bad temper and hits things (walls, not me) and 2) he doesn't work. I know it's a big deal, I was working when I was 5-7 months pregant and he wasn't! I think the prob is that his dad was a dead beat and left him and his mom when my hubby was 3 years old and my husbands dad lives 30 min away his whole live and never tired to see my husband. I love my husband very much and don't wanna leave him, I just need him to get a job! My dad offered him a job of doing wherehouse and making $100 a day but my husband who is white said " I'm not a spick" BTW, me and his daughter are hicpanic. I don't wanna leave but I don't think I have another choice. My hubby wants to be a pro wrestler, but who knows how long that would take and if he would even make it.

his mom is a big prolbem, she doesn't see it though. She signed her life away cuz he begged for a 2006 corvette and her stupid *** bought him one and is making $1,000 payments a month and she's taking out loans to pay it and taking money out of her retirment to pay for his stupid car. but I'm too scared to leave...

Answer 1

what is it with men and that "dream" thing... for my husband it was (still is sometimes) "I'm gonna be a rock star so I don't want to tie myself down with any 'good' jobs"

he's pretty much grown out of that but thats pretty much it, its growing up.

also, don't let him have you think it's "not my fault cuz my daddy was distant" thats bullshit, I like to say "we've all been assraped" which is of course not meant to be taken literal but only a way of saying nobody had a perfect childhood, now get on with it and grow up.

also, how can you tolerate the ethnic slurs from him????? this is your HUSBAND!!! sounds like you guys have bigger issues than just the job thing..

Answer 2

What an a s s to say that first of all. If his dad was a dead beat he is probably thinking well at least I'm around and didn't just up and leave like my dad did. I don't know if you could talk to him in a sensitive way and tell him listen you are starting to be like your dad. Your hear yes, but I also need finacial support. Pro wrestling is great once you make it but what until then. I understand the 500 bucks a week isn't that much but at least it's some thing. It hard when a man can flip out on the drop of a dime and start punching thing. If need be give him an ultimatum, tell him get a job or get out!

Answer 3

I think your husband is a boy. You loving your husband hasnt got nothing to do with the rent, or groceries, Im sure that baby is pretty expensive Ive got four kids and inflation has gone up since my last 7 years ago for sure. I suggest you kick his spoiled lazy azz out you are just enabling him to do nothing and be lazy, Tell him he can't come back with out a job and a pay check. You will survive being that your doing it by yourself anyway. I know this sounds harsh but sometimes people need hard love, there are no free rides and if there were you should be getting it I mean you did just bare his baby, I wish I would. Being in love doesnt mean you have to be stupid. Pro wrestler thats the funniest thing I EVER heard tell his azz to get a real job.

Answer 4

You have another person to think about....leave him.Be strong for you and her.I have a 10 month old little girl,and if my boyfriend wasn't working i would leave him!!!!!No doubt about it,give him a time frame where he needs to find a job,and if he doesn't get a job by then,just take your baby and leave,or kick him out!!!!!If he loves you and the baby like you say he does,then he'll find a job,he'd work at McDonald's to support you.There is plenty of cases when a dad leaves the child and mother at a young age,and alot of case more severe then his.And people don't let that get them.They prevail,and they're strong for their kids.If you guys were THAT concerned about the whole job thing,and is he gonna be a good father to your little princess,then you should of worked that out BEFORE you decided to have a baby......Come on girl,he wants to be a pro wrestler????Is that his dream???Well mine is to become an actress,but i sit at a computer desk from 8-5 so i can support my child,and in my FREE TIME,if i have FREE TIME,then I'm going to pursue my dream,take some acting class,but not at the expense that my child is going to go without.And my boyfriend would work OVERTIME,if we need anything......so get your priorities straight,and talk with him.

Answer 5

Sorry to say honey, your husband sounds like a lazy bum. Regardless of what our parents do, we all have a choice of how to act and what action to take in our adult lives. One just can't go through life explaining away all the failures as a consequence of what one's father did decades ago. At some point, our failures and bad choices become our own. Your husband keeps making bad choices even though better ones are available to him. Whether or not you want to stick around regardless - your call. Remember, you can make choices too.

Answer 6

Sounds like delusions of grandeur, a symptom of bipolar. I know because my husband has had numerous jobs with long periods of unemployment. Let me guess, you work all day, barely keeping afloat; come home to a dirty house & a hubby asking what's for dinner; are left emotionally neglected; & fear that someday his violent temper will turn on you. I had to commit my husband in order to get him help. He is better but still unemployed (has had many interviews but other issues are preventing him from employment). I can't explain what keeps me in the marriage other than I love him & see what he "can" be. Luckly for us, we do not have children. You, on the other hand, have your daughter to worry about. If it doesn't get better, get out!

Answer 7

Time for some tough love. Give him an ultimatum, either get a job or get out! He doesnt have the drive or motivation to be a pro wrestler but maybe getting his butt whooped might just be what he needs. He needs to get rid of his racial chip and swallow a little pride and get going before he looses everything. Youre not even asking him to get a career just a job to help out financially. Tell him if he follows his dads footsteps he will end up being just like his dad did so he better get it together real soon. Good luck

Answer 8

Help about a husband?

Answer 9

His dream of being a pro wrestler has to be put on the back burner because his reality of a child needs to be supported.

Give him an ultimatum. Either get a job in 1 month or it's over. About the outbursts of anger...tell him he's got to put that in check as well. You don't want your child growing up in that kind of environment.

Answer 10

For the sake of your daughter you need to leave. It will only get worse. I know that it will be hard, but there are places out there that can help you. He may not hit you, but psychologically he is abusing you. If you leave your husband and divorce him, you can go to college for free and also get free day care for your daughter while going to school. There are places that will help you get an apartment for you and your daughter. I would leave as soon as you can. If you do good luck and God Bless you and your daughter.