What nxt?Girls advice pls...will it work out?Serious answers only pls...?

Question

I told my close female friend how I felt about her and she said we should remain friends.She said it wouldn't feel right going further even though we both like each other and that she don't deserve my feelings.

We left on good terms,agreeing to remain friends always.Said she can't imagine me not being in\part of her life. After this happened I went quiet on her for over a week to clear my head!She txt me once asking why I went quiet and also txt my mate asking him. I got bck in touch on Monday and her reply mentioned nothing bout what I said(I like her more than a friend).

Will the friendship be the same??
What is she thinking\feeling??

Should I behave differently, will she behave differently?
Anything I should do to rectify what I said? Why do I feel guilty for telling her?

Advice,anyone be in a similar situation?

Answer 1

Hey hun... well - I know just where you're coming from on this one as my best friend (guy) has just had this problem as he told his friend how he felt about her.
Firstly, don't feel guilty about saying anything - it will have actually made things less awkward between the two of you. If you're close friends (as you say you are) then she shouls respect you for saying something to her face. Far too many guys don't say anything and the girl doesn't know where she stands at all.
I don't think you "need" to rectify what you said - it's said now and that's final - you can't sincerely say anything that will take it back - and it will never be forgotten.
You say she feels something for you too, but still said you should stay friends - it sounds to me like she's scared of losing the friendship you have, which if it's as special and close as you say would be a shame. I don't understand though, why she said that she liked you and still turned you down - I mean, if she truly respected your feelings - would she have kept quiet and not kept you going through this torture, with the hope that something could still happen. I know that, obviously, you think the world of her - but are you sure she's worh it and she's not just playing with your affections and your emotions.
I think you did right keeping quiet for a few days, you didn't say anything in the heat of the moment, and have let everything settle. If her reply to you didn't say anything about what you said, this could mean she'd rather move on - stay friends and not spoil your friendship in anyway. However, it could also be that she doesn't want to be the one to raise the topic, maybe she's embarrassed or maybe she thinks you're embarrassed and don't want her to raise the subject. It's up to you on that one - if you want to talk about it then bring it up in a quiet moment in private. However - if you do want to talk about it, make sure you don't sound like you're renewing your feelings to her, or are pleaing with her to take your relationship to a new level - as this is likely to spoil any chances of remaining friends.
If you are as close as you say, I don't think she will behave differently. But, even if she does, you MUST NOT behave differently around her - keep being as close as you ever were - this should put her at her ease a little more.
I know it's difficult, as I said my friend's in the same sit, but you have to try and stop seeing "signs" that she likes you. Just try and see these that you and her are close friends and nothing more. Slowly try and get yourself to see someone else in this way - althought it's likely you will always like this friend as more than that.
I hope this helps you, good look mate - I have a feeling you might need it with this one.

Answer 2

It doesn't take a girl to answer this one...
Since SHE txt'd you, I would say that the friendship is the same. Congratulations :)
Anybody's guess on what she's thinking.
Best thing is to behave like nothing was ever said. She will feel better to see that you weren't too badly hurt. There's nothing to rectify.
Mine was similar except she agreed to try. We married, went 4 months, divorced, and still best of friends to this day. We just didn't "click" as a married couple should.

Answer 3

I haven't been in the situation but your friend is obviously trying to keep things on a light-hearted level. She now knows that you like her and she wants things to stay the same which is why she didn't respond to your question. I think that things will be awkward between the two of you for a while but if you don't want to lose her as a friend completely you need to get back in touch with her arrange to meet. At this moment in time she things that she is about to lose her friend, and you need to reassure her that she is not going to, that is if you still want to remain friends with her. I know that you wanted something more to happen, but you don't want to lose her friendship do you

Answer 4

Well, it sounds as if she really likes you, but maybe she is uncomfortable being your gf? Just continue bieng her friend, but you know, you can still ask her out to dances just "as friends".

if you rectify what you said then maybe she thinks you don't like her anymore, and that would be bad. Guilty? How do you feel guilty if you didn't do anything wrong?

Maybe she likes the way you are right now, and is afraid of what you might be like being her bf.

Anyways, don't give up!

Answer 5

Of course things are going to change. You've been putting time into her to build a relationship. Now its time to re-focus on someone new. If you keep giving her the same amount of time you become her "back guy" that she might settle for and then dump for someone better and go back to and dump again when someone new comes into her life. If she really wants to be friends then she should realize like you guy friends do that you need to spend most of your time doing your own thing.

Answer 6

As long as you or her doesn't let it get weird, then your friendship shouldn't change. You told her how you felt, she told you she didn't want to go there with you and that's that. Just act like it never happened now and things should go back to normal. Maybe get a gf or something so she doesn't think you are waiting for her now.

Answer 7

Never doubt yourself for telling her that you feel for you. You wouldn't want any /unsaid/ things ruining your friendship would you? It wouldn't be fair to yourself, or her, if you hadn't of told her.

The friendship might not be exactly the same as it was the first time around, lay low for a couple of days- or for how long you feel is right. Don't bring up the subject of your feelings for her alot- unless you feel you need to. Don't let her feel weird or such around you. But then again, never deny that you said that.

Mostly likely she isn't thinking much on the subject, but if she is shes thinking about how to act around you. She'll see how you act around her, and then act based on that.

Hopefully i helped.
=)

Answer 8

If you have feelings for her, then it will be difficult to see her soon.
I guess the friendship won't be the same for a while, until your feelings go away. Maybe if you tell her that you need some space to get over her response, she will understand.
Good luck!

Answer 9

sounds like at the moment she just wants to be friends the very best relationships start out as friendships,so just be the best friend you can be and wait and see what happens

Answer 10

just carry on being yourself, the atmosphere will blow over eventually. if she really cherishes you as a friend, sh won't allow anything to effect your friendship.
it must have taken ta lot of courage for you to do what you did, ten marks for that, but give her time, and space, she's probably just as confused as you are.
xxx