help I am worried I'll be hurt?

Question

I need the answer to something relating to domestic violence/stalking?
I left a domestic vioolence relationship about 3 or 4 years ago. The preson turned out to be a sex offender, abuser, mentally ill, etc. I do consider him to be VERY dangerous. He was obsessed with me and still occassionally calls my mom's (he has her number) asking her to get me to call him. I had to change my phone number 3 times and move. I felt safe as I don't/didn't think he knows where I live.
I just found out all he has to do to find my new address is go the the board of elections (BOE) webpage and type in my name and up pops my address for all to see. I was shocked after trying so hard to keep everything secret that it is this easy to find out when I live or will live even if I change locations in my city forever. I called the BOE to ask if I coud get it removed and I was told no that t is public records and there is nothing I can do. Now I am scared again..scared he will think of it and find me. He once got my social security number from a public record.

can anyone advise me on who I might contact to try to see if it can be removed? or offer suggestions? I do not have money for an attorney being on a fixed small income. Please help as I am very scared and worried. Thank you. They also said a PO box could not be used.

kilenshel, you misunderstand..He cannot get my name from my phone records etc..I took care of that, but he can get it from going to the bard of elections online, puttinmg muy name in and there it is...they said nothing I can do..spoke to 2 poeple

also boe said can't use PO box

the women's dv hotline didn't even know this and could offer no suggestions other than ways to be safe.

BOE said that even if you use a PO box as your mailing address, your real address is put on line. She said secretary of state Blackwell wouldn't do anything "drasgged his feet " she said. She suggested writing the new SOs that was ust elected. I think someone in my political circles may know her..

update..I decided to call the person who was just elected secretary of state as the 3rd women I talked to told me she could get this fixed. I spoke to an aid and she told me this is a very important issue to her..apparently they used to post SS# but people complained and they got that stopped. I got a lot of hope from talking to this aid that this would likely be changed after she takes over. This immediately gae me hope and hopefully, she will get it changed before he finds out. Apparently other women in similar situations complaioned too. I feel much better. I also emailed the wife of our independent candidate for governor asking for advice, but haven't heard back yet. To the person talking about illegal immigrants and political rants, What?? This is a genuine situation that I have been dealing with today

Answer 1

I'd get a PO Box and use that as your address. You could even use a mail forwarding service in a different town and have them forward the mail to you or to another PO Box. I know people who move a lot use a mail forwarding service (most are single and in the service), that way they don't have to keep updating their address, the only have to tell the forwarding company what their new address is.

If you use a PO Box as your address you should be able to vote using that as your official address, they might want to know where you live, but your address would be the PO Box.

If you are really concerned don't vote.

I would also use two disposable cell phones, use one number for work only and the number you give to people you know and trust. That way if he gets one you can quick change your number with a new one.

I would try to get your mom to change her number also.

I don't want to scare you, but with your SSN if he really wants to find you he can. So you'll have to look over your shoulder. A court order won't stop him, but at least you can get him arrested if he does find you.

Wishing you lot of luck.


EDIT

Sorry didn't see the part about the fixed income, if you have someone you trust to send you your mail, you could use their address. At least that way if he goes there looking for you, you would have some warning. Assuming he's not stupid crazy and would kill them.

Talk to a woman's shelter and see if there is any legal aid, the women shelter should be able to point you in the right direction.

Wish you well.

Answer 2

If you don't get a helpful answer from someone else here, try going to legal aid in your county. They may be able to help you. If you can't find a law to protect you, learn to protect yourself. Look for martial arts classes, Krav Maga (Israli self defence class) or Impact. Studying to defend yourself may be your best option. You say you are on a small, fixed income so I assume you are disabled, or retired. A good martial arts instructor will teach you how to overcome your disability or limitations by adapting techniques so that they will work for you. The classes will give you a safe place to practice the techniques so that you will be able to use them effectively if the need should ever arise.

Alternatively, you could stop voting. Move to another address and don't update your voter registration. The choice is yours.

Answer 3

First question that popped into my head was "why does he have your mother's number?" second was "why hasn't she gotten a new, unlisted number?" Then I thought "this girl needs help ASAP" keeping this man out of her life. Please check out these sites below and call them. I don't know what state you live in and don't post it in an open board like this one . The services below are national so they can redirect you safely and can help you more than yahoo answers.

National Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE

The Domestic Violence Center offers comprehensive,
coordinated programs and services that address the
immediate and long-term needs of domestic violence
victims, their children and abusers.
24-HOUR HELPLINE: 216-391-HELP (4357) This is an OHIO number

Answer 4

my only sugestion would be to have that information changed ... like put you telephone number in someone elses name, If you own the home then i do not know but if you rent the home i dont think he can find you unless its through say a telephone number light bill etc. so change those things to another name.

Answer 5

Get in touch with your local battered women's shelter. There's a few things they can do so that you're information will not be public.

Answer 6

In Sleeping With The Enemy, Julia Roberts killed her stalking ex-husband.

Oh, I get it now. This is really an illegal immigrant / register to vote rant, isn't it?

Answer 7

Smith & Wesson