Do you think messy houses can wait a day, or are you a clean freak?

Question

I think I could easily spend 24/7 cleaning up after my family. I am getting really sick of it. My husband thinks that because he earns the money I should be the one doing all the activities with the kids, cleaning the house and working with the PTA? Plus he thinks I should have a part time job. He is always the first to remind me that I don't contribute financially.

Answer 1

I am not a clean freak but I do like my house to
be clean, and it is everyday, why because I am
a man and not too proud to help my wife out in
cleaning the house. We have a 12 room house
with kitchen bathroom bedroom living room in
all and I dust, sweep, vacuum, clean the bath-
room and any other chores that is needed to
help my wife out after all to me marriage is
committing to helping each other out in EVERY-
THING, and you know what it has not made me
any less of a man helping my wife out in doing
household chores, and to end this I also
wash dishes and cook., and Iron.I am the
bread winner but my wife is the care of her
husband.

Answer 2

I am a Stay at home Mom...

There are days that my Husband gets home and I did not do much... There are 6 kids. I can't clean 24/7. During the day I do most of the major cleaning and in the eve. I just "straighten up".

Take a break from the house for one day. We all have too..

You're husband needs to understand how much you do. No you don't have a paying job, but you work 24/7. You are helping out financially by staying home and not having to pay someone to watch the kids...

If the house work is bringing you down take a break. I am a clean freak but there are days that I just have to take a break.. There are other things to STRESS about than the house being clean or dirty....

Good Luck and you desreve the Break.

Answer 3

Sounds like you have bigger issues than a dirty house.

I would clean up my marriage before cleaning up the house. That's emotional abuse that he is putting you through and he is trying to spread you all over the place. Don't take it from him.

My husband and I both work full time. My house isnt always the neatest thing in the world because we are both so freakin tired by the time we get home and put our four month old to sleep.

We usually designate rooms to each other. (I hate the kitchen and he hates the bedroom) and we share the responsibilities. Which is exactly what your husband needs to do. Even if he isnt good at cleaning house, at least have him contribute to the PTA or some activities with the kids. And ask him how the hell you are supposed to do all of the above and work at the same time?

Basically, tell him to kiss your butt or you could leave him and he could find two or three women to be with because thats how many it takes to be able to do all of that.

Answer 4

Cleaning house, taking care of the kids and working with the PTA is working full time. Next time he tells you that you are not contributing financially, give him a list of what it would cost to hire a cook, a housekeeper/maid service, and a full time live in nanny and ask where your pay is. Those are the jobs you are doing. Also remind him that having the kids was not something you did all by yourself, that he did have his part in their creation. Fathers do not contribute only money. If that is all he thinks he needs to contribute, then many us would happily call him a sperm donor and financial donor but not a father.

Answer 5

I am not a clean freak at all. I would rather have a life than a clean house. (I'm not saying my house is horrifying, but right now, there are dishes in the sink from dinner last night, there are some packages and mail on the counters. My kids' toys and shoes are on the floor. Who cares? If I clean them up now, it will look exactly the same in a few hours.)

Anyway, you should get a part time job, NOT because your husband wants you to, but because it will be great for your self esteem. You can work when he's home so he has to do EVERYTHING. When you get home, YOU can be the one saying "what have you been doing? This house is a mess!"

Answer 6

I still think it's a 50/50 split. Yes, more work should be done by whoever is staying home, but the one 'earning the bacon' needs to help out too when they are home. The stay at home parent is not a slave to the kids, the working spouse or the home.

I'm a clean freak by habit, but with working full time, having two kids and a husband who does it wrong (read--not my way) I flip my lid...but I have learned to let go a little more and relax...otherwise all my kids would remember is that mommy was always cleaning! LOL!

Answer 7

I'm a stay at home mom...my hubby works 50 hours a week, personally i think it is my job to run to our 8 & 6 year old to their dr.s appts, cub scouts..pta..clean the house and cook dinner. That's why I stay home, instead of working somewhere for a paycheck.

I am not old fashioned...if roles were reversed and I was the sole bread winner, I would expect him to do the same.

Spending time with the kids is a different issue. As long as he shows up to their games, plays with them at night and helps tuck them into bed...along with teaching them values and morals...I think it's fair for me to do all the other stuff on my own.

As for cleaning the house...I am NOT a neat freak...my idea of clean and my husbands sometimes differ (but he is a former Marine...so he's a neat freak God love him). We have to compromise...if I didn't finish the laundry...he'll deal...as long as he doesn't have to go to work in his underwear :)

It's about finding a fair balance... i know i'll win no brownie points with most stay at home mom's, but personally I feel lucky to be able to be there for my kids anytime they need me...even if it means cleaning the house when I don't feel like it......


**Side note..if he is always reminding you that he is the only one that makes the money...than you have deeper issues than a clean house...If he keeps it up...call a nanny service...cleaning service...personal chef & cab service and find out how much that would cost him on a daily basis...And make sure he KNOWS it!**

Answer 8

well I am in a similar situation and I tell my hubby -" If I didn't watch the kids and do everything in the house that he couldn't go and work and make that money ..." He trys now and then to help me in the house and we don't really fight about that anymore " I would also stop doing the house work and if he says what have you done all day ? tell him when you start getting a pay check from him you will start to clean if he says no tell him to shut up then ...Good luck

Answer 9

this guy needs a day at home with all of your responsibilities. Tell him that you will trade him a day. He needs to appreciate all that you do. I know sometimes it looks as if we just sit home & hang out all day, but us women know the truth we are real busy--taking care & raising kids is a full time job-we don't get paid in cash, but with smiles & loves from our kids-that is pay enough. You need to bring to his attention that you are raising your kids, like you should be. Bring to his attention that kids should not be raised by daycare. There is a difference between a messy lived in home & filth--When raising kids, things just can't be all perfect & in place at home always-This would not be healthy for the kids either. Kids will be kids--Have fun raising them--

Answer 10

Houswork can wait, it's not going anywhere. Your kids are only little once, enjoy them at home while you can. You already have a full time job taking care of your family and are not getting paid for it like a full time employee on company time would. Tell hubby to hire a housekeeper, you are going to enjoy the kid's childhoods and are going to make sure they do too.