My husband and I want to start trying for our first baby, but are worried...?

Question

My husband has a genetic thing in his family that has caused some of his family members to miscarry..his grandmother and aunt both had miscarriages due to this genetic problem, but his mom had to prefectly healthy babies (my husband who carries the genetic problem and his brother who doesnt), we want to start trying for a baby (and plan to see a genetic doctor first), but we are really scared of loosing our baby or something happening to me. We have been wanting to start trying for a long time and now feel ready to do so, I am 20 and he is 21 and we have been married for 6 months, anyone else with this situation that can give any help and/or advise?? Also, he is an accomplished Air Traffic Controller and told me i didnt have to work if i dont want to, i dont, i want to be a stay at home mom, but my parents want nothing more than for me to go to school, im just scared to tell them im pregnant (when i am) since i havent gone to school yet...anyone with any information or advise? Thanks

Answer 1

I congradulate you on thinking and talking about this before you decide to have a child. In my opinion, wait, you both are so very young and need to experience each other and make sure you are set in your career and finacially before having a child. You may think you are ready, but very few people at your age are ready to have a child. Live it up, you can't even go to a bar and drink yet! Take a few classes, even if you think you want to be a stay at home mom, I would still advice you to do that. In time, see a specialist and go from there. I was 27 when I had my son and I still wish I would have waited a couple of more years. Good luck.

Answer 2

I don't know if my boyfriend's family has the same gene, but I do know that I was the first of his girlfriends to actually carry a baby of his to term (from what I know, he's been trying since he was 18 to be a dad and there were at least 3 girls who were pregnant by him, not including me). We now have 2 healthy children and I'm 19 weeks pregnant with our third. I will say that the first pregnancy was hell and I ended up on complete bed rest at 7 months because I was threatening to lose our daughter, but she turned 2 last June, and she's one of the healthiest kids I know. As far as what your parents want... Well, it's your decision either way. Being a stay at home mom has its pros and cons. Also, it isn't right for every woman, but I think it's beautiful that you have the option. Also, why not do the school and the home thing? There are so many programs for parents who want to further their education, there really is no reason you couldn't. But take my advice and wait till after your baby is walking. that way you don't miss many, if any, "firsts". It's so wonderful watching them take those first few steps. If (s)he does it in daycare while you're in school, you can't get that back. but don't let anyone tell you you can't go to school because you have a baby (or will have). I have several friends who have done it and succeeded.

Answer 3

You're better off waiting a few years and getting a degree under your belt. It's wonderful that your husband makes enough to support a family by hiimself, but what happens if, God forbid, something happens to him making it impossible for him to work. If you have no education, you won't be able to get a job making any real kind of money at all. Think of it as an insurance policy for your family. You don't have to work once you have your degree, but it's always there if you need it, and no one can take it away from you.

Answer 4

What type of genetic disease? I would learn as such about it as possible and buy some books on it. Do what you want in your life. My grandparents were extremely pushy people and wanted me to be lonely have PHD and I did my own thing, I've got a better life than everyone in my famliy without the PHD. Make your own choice. I know your scared of want your famliy will think but your married now! It's between you and your Hubby! Best of luck.

Answer 5

It is scary, but you should go ahead and try to get pregnant. It's the only way you can find out. I have 3 children and it is a great experience that will make your life more challenging and provide much personal growth.

Answer 6

The only way to know is with your Doc. He can run some tests and even perform a sperm selection in order to do an in vitro fertilization and avoid that genes.

Hope it helps.

Answer 7

Forget what your parents want for you, You are now an adult and a married woman. Show them that you can make mature decisions on your own.

Answer 8

I had my daughter on the ripe old age of 20 (have been given pregnant whilst i grew to become into 19) - the being pregnant grew to become into VERY perplexing...I had themes with each little thing from extreme blood stress that required meds to diabetes and then an rather perplexing start. as quickly as I found out i grew to become into pregnant with my 2d baby on the age of 32, my first project grew to become into whether or no longer my physique ought to shelter it-i grew to become into 12 years older at this element, and thought that if my first being pregnant grew to become into so perplexing at 20, this one might dern close to kill me at 32. i'm overjoyed to rfile that no longer purely grew to become into my 2d being pregnant much less complicated-no problems, not extra physcial soreness than known-however the transport grew to become into plenty much less complicated as nicely. i think of my physique grew to become into extra mature and able to shelter the being pregnant in my 30's than it grew to become into whilst i grew to become into 20.