So he was crying in the bathroom...... She was later found with a gun to her head. She came to my crying. I don't know what to do. I love them both so much. My husband and my very best friend. I told them that I didn't want anyone to know of this. Not even her husband, for he too is a very good friend of mine. He doesn't deserve to be hurt by this. All of this happened only yesterday. We are all pretendign nothing happened. it's killing me, right now i am shaking as I write this. But they are my everything. How do I forget and live as if it never happened. Or at least deal with it with out going mad?
2006-11-14 07:29:13 · 7 answers · asked by notme 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can't go on pretending that it didn't happen.
1. They may be your everything, but they both betrayed you. That's why you're shaking. It's your anger talking.
2. If you don't let go of it, or find a way to deal with it constructively, you will implode on yourself.
3. Your friend needs help; steer her to a counselor. After that, she needs to handle her business - including her husband. And, even though you don't want him to find out about it? He will. People who cheat have very guilty consciences; your friend won't be able to keep this to herself and she'll be relieved to have the pressure off, no matter what the outcome.
4. Until you understand why your husband slept with her, you will never trust him or feel the same about him.
Don't kid yourself about the seriousness of what happened. Everyone, including you, needs to do some soul-searching about their part in this fiasco. Why did she have to be in your home so much? Why are they your "everything"? Why does her husband have to be kept out of the loop? Why hasn't your friend made a real attempt at working out her promblems with him instead of coming to you?
You and your husband need to go to a counselor; your marriage has to come first. Actually, YOU need to put yourself first. At the risk of sounding cold-hearted, no one has come to you and said they're sorry. All they've done is dumped preventable drama in your lap without any consequences for their actions. You need to face the truth of what's happened and re-evaluate your definition of "my everything."
2006-11-14 07:52:40 · answer #1 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I wish my wife's friends did that.
Okay all joking aside, You can break up your marriage and your friendship OR you can all agree to keep it from happening again.
Decide it was a big mistake move on and keep this quiet and cool for a while. Tell your friend to stay at home at night from now on. Nothing happened here that is worth killing yourself or breaking up a marriage for IF they know it is a mistake and do not let it happen again.
Back to joking. You should be most upset that she just did not ask to join you both. Now that could have been fun.
2006-11-14 08:20:22 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you giving them pity..they made their own bed and now they must lie in it..
I would not let them get out of the responsibility of what they have done, they had no regrets at the time..and they are only in reget because they got caught..
wake up and say goodbye to both of them..you are going to hurt her man worse by not telling him what happened..
why let him live the lie and live in the deceit that you are talking about letting yourself live in..
2006-11-14 07:34:07 · answer #3 · answered by The Chesire Cat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
change to my previous answer. get your friend to go for counseling. but do not let her sleep over anymore, regardless.
everything else I said, still stands, except, maybe not so much time and distance before being intimate with him.
reassure him that he is still loved and treasured by you.
2006-11-14 07:33:54 · answer #4 · answered by smartkid37138 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok..not to sound cruel..but I honestly think you all need professional help...find a counselor and start treatment immediately...especially your friend...if she is suicidal..then there are obviously some deeper issues there...
2006-11-14 07:37:16 · answer #5 · answered by Amy B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take time out for yourself...get away for a few days...You know the truth in your head already...move on ...
2006-11-14 07:47:24 · answer #6 · answered by angelic1302 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this will make a great novel. Please keep on making thing up for us to read, its really great.
2006-11-14 07:31:56 · answer #7 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋