Personal question about my and mine partners relationship?

Question

My partner and i have been together for 7 years have two children her sex drive is nil but mine is high i belive i help her out in the house with day to day stuff and looking after children when not at work. I understand looking after children is a full time job and she is tired and don't expect her to be full of energy after a day at work she doesn't seem to want to be near me anymore, not even a kiss
We don't have anyone to babysit for us, if we do it is literally a couple of hours tops if we are lucky.
I have spoken to her and she doesn't know if it's just overtiredness and being worn down by the kids or if it's me she doesn't want.

Answer 1

low sex drive is 1thing.........a complete lack of affection is a differant story.It sounds as though she has some bigger issues here as she says shes not sure if its you or tiredness.....theyre 2 totally different things.maybe shes scared of being on her own+is just holding on to you because 4her 2indicate it might be you usually means it is you.I have 2kids+given the chance id find time believe me.Good luck anyway x

Answer 2

I think in long term relationships when all you do is normal day to day chores with all the pressures of family life you can get into a rutt and you both obviously spend a lot of time together but not the quality time you both need to keep the spark going, sometimes you can lose sight of what first attracted you to a person as the years go on! I think you both need to take time to do different things away from family life and try to remember what you both seen in each other at the beginning of the relationship, the spark will soon come back!! Often women feel like their partners just want sex and it becomes just another chore for them at the end of a long day looking after the kids, try spoiling her or planning a romantic weekend away for you both, boosting her self esteem and reassuring her that she is wanted in more ways than just the sexual way, women value the loving side to a relationship more than the sex if she has that reassurance the sex will follow im sure of it.

Answer 3

It is true that for some women, they lose their sex drives after having children. Hormones in a woman's body change during pregnancy and for a long time afterwards as well. On top of the physical changes in the body, there's also the physical changes in the household. Kids are exhausting, they demand constant attention, and most mothers don't get five seconds to themselves to rest and regain their energy. They feel like they have to be Superwoman all the time!

Try a couple of things - a) try to find someone to babysit for a night, and spend that night in a hotel, away from the chaos of home life. b) investigate homeopathic remedies that will help your partner to restore her energy and also to relax. St John's Wort is always good.

I think if she didn't want you, she would have come to that conclusion by now, after seven years together. So give the other things a try.

Best wishes :-)

Answer 4

Try thinking about the start, before the kids, how did you meet, what made you fall in love? I know its hard having kids, I understand where both of you are coming from. You need to make time for yourselves at least once or twice a month where you just do stuff together, even if its just a trip to the flicks to watch a film, or going for a meal together, time for you both with no interuptions. It usually happens when you have little ones, that you forget spending quality time together and it does make you both feel like you are on a relentless journey almost wishing that the world would stop so you can get off! Are there any grandparents who would have your kids overnight for you, just so you could have time to yourselves? Sounds like you need to work on the romance a bit, the rest should be easier after that. Sex is only exciting if your both turned on! Good luck, hope it all works out for you both.

Answer 5

Try and find freinds or relatives that will look after the kids - and go for a week's holiday somewhere - so you can spend time together to find out what the real problem is.

I think she may be feeling that life is repetitive and samey...she may feel like a hamster on a wheel...take her on a break...even for a weekend, so you can have space to chat without all the other worries of life in the way.

If she is still being honest to you about her feelings to you...there still must be something there between you so do not despair.

Answer 6

you don,t say what age your children are. Do you always have to have sex sometimes a woman feels that is all her partner is interested in when all she really wants is a cuddly or just to snuggle up on the sofa when the children are in bed with a good film and a bottle of wine. Poor girl sounds exhausted and just needs some tender loving care NOT SEX

Answer 7

Suggest to your wife that she talk to her doctor about her low sex drive. She could have a hormonal imbalance that is causing it, esp. if she is on BC pills. If she doesn't already, ask her to take a good B vitamin (a time-released b-100 or b-50 works throughout the day).

Make sure when to do have sex that you take time for her needs too and if needed get a good lubricant (vaseline isn't one!).

Answer 8

ask a relative to have the kids, and book a long romantic weekend away.
that's what i'd do.
you both deserve it, so go for it.
xxx

Answer 9

ahh babe dont know what to suggest if youve already spoke to her about it. the next step is she needs help to get to the root of her problem. good luck to you both.x

Answer 10

poor thing. i have 3 kid and me and my boyfriend still get up to it a lot