Is it normal for those who cheat?

Question

Is it normal for people who cheat and leave their spouses for the other person to have messed up priorities? My ex hardly spends any time with our son now. He has visitation rights but does not even make it through his weekend with our son! He says he misses him and wants to spend more time with him but does not back up his words with actions. He is so caught up in his new life with this other woman that he seems to be forgetting the fact that he has a child! Is this normal?

Answer 1

No (morally) it is not normal, but there are alot of people out there that don't seem to have any morals at all. I would forget all about him and focus on your child, because he/she is the one really suffering here. Try to explain to him/her the best you can, but don't down your ex in front of he/she. Let the child find out for themselves or they will resent you when they are older because they think you just put all of it in their head. Just try to make the child as happy as possible because I am sure he/she is thinking their father doesn't love them. You need to be there for support and let them know you are dependable and will always be there for them. Good luck.

Answer 2

I'd say your ex's actions speak louder than his words, but then again so did his cheating, his marriage vows versus his actions. I don't know, you picked him to be your son's father and now you are left holding the baby bag. I'd say he will have missed out on knowing your son, and in the end, he will have lost a lot more than some tale over the weekend. I would not spend any time worrying about what your loser ex is forgetting and concentrate on doing my best to be a good single Mother to my son. He'll know some stability and love from you and thats all you can offer. Good luck!

Answer 3

It is normal for selfish people to do this. He won't forget he has a child, it's just that the child is not as important to him as himself. The child will make its' own decision regarding the father once he/she old enough and if Dad ever grows up, he will regret the fact that he didn't give a crap about his kid and the kid wants nothing to do with him. Don't try to figure out what your ex may be thinking, it is no use. Actions speak louder than words and he can say all he wants, but his actions say differently.. don't they?

Answer 4

Sometimes people become selfish after a split up when there are new relationships. I am in the same situation and sadly the children are the ones that suffer. My ex spends more time with his live in girlfriend and her children. It makes me angry also, but its not really something you can help unless you want to talk to your ex about not spending time, but that usually doesn't work. If your son is old enough, maybe he needs to say something to dear old dad about not spending time with him.

Answer 5

Yes, that's "normal." The spouse who has a new life often forgets about the old life and those who came first. Guilt, indifference, stress from the new partner, etc... can all play a factor.

Just keep reminding your son that none of this is in any way his fault!

Answer 6

nicely it is not that it is not commonly used, it is extra such as you have a mature self controlled way of coping with stuff like this. It merely potential you emotionally mature.and you be attentive to that the only you have been relationship wasn't for you besides. you recognize which you deserve extra valuable and it is little need tripping over something that doesn't have lots fee to you which you have in the direction of your self. it is sturdy which you're like this it may additionally point out that the reationship you 2 have been having wasn't as close as maximum could probable prefer to get.I admire you honoestly reason i will't do this. :) you're definately one in one million lady :)

Answer 7

Iguess you can say that is normal .If you see that the father of your child isn't trying to take of your son, if it continue put him on child support. But until then you can make it on your on, just be the best mother for your son, make sure he don't want for nothing.

Answer 8

I presume that he has easy access for visitation and that you do not make it hard for him to visit his child. Most men state that it is the reason they neglect their father's duties.
The other reason is linked to ex-wives' lack of support of paternal contact and fathers' feelings of no longer being influential and valued as fathers, were fathers' own decisions to cease contact with their children. Fathers citing this reason spoke of their overwhelming sense of loss and depression, the pain of seeing their children only intermittently, and the fact that an avuncular "visiting" relationship in no sense resembled "real fatherhood" and was perhaps harmful for children as well. Fathers' own decisions to cease contact were inextricably linked to their inability to adapt to the constraints of the "visiting" relationship. Mothers are big factor into relation of their children and it is often painful for them but child good should prevail.

Answer 9

It's normal for people who have been dumped to waste way too much time trying to figure out what's going on in the other person's mind and practically lose their own in the process. Just say NO to trying to figure him out. Focus on your relationship with your child. You'll be sorry if you don't.

Answer 10

i don't think that he has forgot that he has a son. he is married
and his number one priority is his wife now. yes he should spend
more time with his son, but i think every other weekend with his
son and everyother weekend with his wife. maybe he wants
to spend some quality time with his wife on weekends. after
that then he should spend time with his son the next weekend
for the who weekend even it out for both the son and wife.