I'm about to blow up and do something stupid, what can I do?

Question

At 14 I'm going through a really bad phase. My realtinship with my parents was destroyed a year ago when they punished too harsh and I got extremely resentful. It's true I was doing wrong stuff but they didnt act as parents, but just as Law and showed no love. For a year I could bear with this situation but these days I've been really deprtessed, no one to share my problems with, no one to give me advice, I feel lonely, sad, depressed and alone. It's been hard to sleep at night. It's bad yo feel alone in your home.
I'm a kinda good student, most people like me, I get comfort in voluteering activities, but sometimes I wish I didnt exist. Maybe this is just a phase, but it's hard to deal with this. Sometimes I feel like doing something stupid.
Ok, I don't kow how to describe how I feel. What could I do? talking with my parents is out of the question.

Answer 1

call 1-800-448-3000 this is a national teen help hotline. i have used it my self.

Answer 2

Well, I realise this answer wont help enough, but growing up you will see all those problems disappearing and loosing their meaning. Its a very hard age, the adolescence. I don’t know what exactly happened with your parents and how serious is it, but I guess you are in an age that parents are anyway not the first people you go to talk to. Teenagers problems cannot easily be understood by parents and possibilities are you will get an answer of the type “this is not a real problem” or something. It’s normal to feel misunderstood. Your friends can offer you support in your problems, but remember that the advice of the parents is usually the most sensible, as they usually care a lot for their children and, also, have already passed this age and situation.

On the other hand I really don’t know how serious the situation with your parents is. Do you feel you need some professional advice? In your age I hated the idea to talk with a teacher or counsellor or share my problems with any adult. I had a very good relationship with my parents, but other people like teachers etc, I used to see them as a kind of authority, and preferred to avoid them.

I would suggest you to try to develop friendship with people a little older than you, like 23 or 25 years old, that are not teenagers any more, but neither do they believe themselves so much more mature than you. If you feel bad at your own house, try to invite more often your friends, to fill your schedule with activities, so you won’t have to feel lonely anymore.

Answer 3

Well, it is just a phase, because I remember going through that kind of stuff too. Its a hard time. But just know that you will get through it, and even though you may not be able to stand your parents right now, things will change eventually. Im now 30 with my own children and now I do know why my parents did some of the things they did and we are best friends now. I talk to my mom every day on the phone and my dad too. Its great. But let me say when I was a teen, I couldnt stand them at all. Just try and deal with it the best way you can, or talk to a school counselor or maybe find some kinda of group to join, or a church youth group to attend if you dont already. Just anything that will get you out of the house sometimes. I dont know what else to tell you except your feelings are normal.

Answer 4

I was there millions (11 almost 12) years ago. I don't know what you did, or what the punishment was, so I can't say who was wrong or right. I know I asked my parents to put me in counseling and they did. (Usually insurance will cover most or all or the cost.) It really helped me know where my parents ere coming from and the therapist/counselor person helped them know what being a teen was not only doing to me on the outside, but on the inside too. The one thing I resent is that my actual psychiatrist didn't diagnose my bipolar disorder. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 25. It would have helped out a bunch growing up. My parents just thought I was being difficult, they didn't realize I couldn't control my emotions and often my impulses (another sign of bipolar). I say you should ask for counseling or to see a psychiatrist. If they say it isn't necessary, most schools have a psychiatrist or psychologist employed. Your guidance counselor at your school should be able to help with that.

You can message or email me if you like. I'm a mom now, but they're far from their teen years. I'd kinda like to be reminded what it's like so I don't forget and make them feel that they can't come to me either.

Answer 5

Honey, I feel for you. I had problems with my parents at that age too, but now as an adult and mother that is all history. You really do need someone to talk to. Maybe a teacher, or counselor. Do you go to Church? Is there a youth minister to confide in? After finding an adult to help you in the short term, you need to find a way to get through to your parents. It's not easy being a parent. There is NO handbook that gives you the answer to every problem that arises. But I believe that most parents just want what is best for their children and I pray that yours do too! For your own sake, please follow my advice and confide in an adult that you trust. You do not need to feel alone. Friends your own age don't have the answers, they think like a teenager because that's what they are. Have you ever told your parents that you know you were wrong, that you were sorry and that you want to fix your relationship? If not, please do. Tell them how they made you feel. Honesty is always best.

Answer 6

Just try to unwind by doing what you enjoy. Even reading a book can make you calm down. Try to think of anything that you are grateful for, and use that to feel better. Imagine people in this world who don't even have parents or a home to live in. There is a lot we should be grateful for. And lastly, try to build a gradual relationship with your parents. Show them that you are responsible and more mature so they will forget and forgive you for the wrong stuff you did before. Building a relationship with your parents takes time, but it is worth it.
Everyone feels like sh*t from time to time, but don't let it get you down and make you do something you'll resent.

Answer 7

I have been there where you are, and fought with my parents for a long time, like 33 years!!!, Mostly it was my mother. Both my parents are stubborn and they wanted to bring me up like in the old country from which they came, which was totally differnt from the way thigs are in this country. I wanted to have the same rights and privileges as the other kids and teenagers.

Maybe your parents aren't as stubborn as mine were and are.

If you cannot sleep, feel depressed and have no one to talk about your feelings, and you feel alone in the house even when parents are there. Maybe it is time you told them that, in a nice way. For example, can I talk to you Mom and Dad? I have something to say that is really bothering me to the point where I cannot sleep, I feel depressed most of the time, and I even feel alone in this house even when you guys are at home. I was wondering if you, as my parents would help me now, and communicate with me, and if we could make peace amongst ourselves. You can admit that what you did a year ago wasn't right, but that a year has passed, and that you are still suffering from the ordeal.

See, maybe your parents are not aware of how you feel, and how serious it is, that you cannot sleep, feel alone, and are really depressed. Maybe they are too busy earning a living. Sometimes parents are mad for a long time as well and they tell themselves "she deserved the treatment she got from us".

Just try and make peace with them, and say you are sorry for what you did a year ago, and ask for their forgiveness, and ask for their help and their friendship.

I know you may feel that talking with your parents is out of the question, but please give it a try, because after all you are still living in their house and eating their food, and other things.

If your parents do not respond well to what you asked them politely to do, then you need to see a counsellor, a psychologist or psychiatrist and talk to that person to help you. Only psychiatrists can prescribe medication, as they are medical doctors as well. But maybe you should start with your family doctor, or change doctors, and talk about your life and what happened and how you feel, ask the doctor for help. He is qualified to prescribe medication as well, but he isn't really a psychiatrist or psychologist, who use psychotherapy to help you as well as visualization techniques.

Answer 8

At least you're talking here, that's a good first step. Do you have many/any close friends that you can talk to?

What is it that you think is causing you to get close to doing something stupid? How serious do you really think it is?

What was it that you did to get in trouble a year ago? What did your parents do to punish you? What did you think they should have done as a fair punishment?

I could go on and on with questions.. heh you can message me if you like

Answer 9

hey ive been there, and i know how sucky it is.
talk to a friend, or a teacher you trust, i know how hard it is to talk sometimes, so if you cant do that then write how you feel and burn it.

your parents sound a lot like mine. i dont know what you did that broke the relationship with your parents, but i jknow i've dont alot of stuff that made them angry and punish me at times when i needed their love and support the most.

just hang in there, keep going well at school, make that your aim and your parents will come round. sometimes you have to forgive and forget to get along with your parents again, and trust me it is so much easier when you are getting along with them.

hang in there

carpe diem

Answer 10

Believe it or not, this is a great opportunity for you to engulf yourself in your education. Doing great in school will have a twofold effect. One, you will not have time to feel sorry for yourself and two, you'll have a great education and job when you get older. You only have 4 years before you can be off on your own or better yet, get into College. Hang in there and you'll be fine. It's great that you are also doing volunteer work. Continue doing that in between your studies and you will be very happy soon.
Good Luck!!

Answer 11

Yo, most teenagers feel that way some or all of the time. It's all the hormones and stuff, it's just nature's joke on us.

Try to find a close friend or two who you can talk to about real stuff like this, and that'll help. Cut yourself some slack and relax a bit, life gets better as you go.