Everyone is talking about cheating and is it ok to flirt with or have relations with other people. Are people really this dumb. Marriage is sacred and it saddens me to see that a majority of the questions are about cheating and lies instead of how to take care of your spouse and solve problems. Divorce should not be a first, second or third choice. It should only happen in EXTREME cases. Why do so many people sound like they are so miserable in their marriages? (Maybe they shouldn't have been allowed to get married in the first place?)
2006-11-14 05:40:31 · 16 answers · asked by Julie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No...it is because people who has good marraige life don't need to ask questions in here.
2006-11-14 05:43:32 · answer #1 · answered by alandicho 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Happy people don't post and ask if its wrong to be happy.
So many people sound miserable in their marriages because they ARE miserable. So many people get married when they are immature. I'm not talking age! Maturity has very little to do with age.
People are selfish by nature, and when their wants aren't being met they divorce or stray and lie. Many people don't understand the difference between a want and a need. Many people are unwilling to make a personal sacrifice for the happiness of another person. They understand academically that it is necessary for a happy and healthy marriage, but they are unwilling to do it. Why? Because, they are immature and selfish.
2006-11-14 05:53:42 · answer #2 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a lot of things written on Answers that wouldn't have been asked years ago. People have given in to their baser instincts and parents have stopped teaching children that its bad to be bad! No one has to take responsibility for their actions anymore. There is such a deep sense of "entitlement" from people these days, the selfishness has no bottom to the well. People who haven't worked a day in their life think they can go to SS and get a check because they are too depressed to work, yeah right, and my left foot feels like kicking your tuckas! "I don't feel like my man loves me so I f'ed his best friend, now he's found out and is mad at me. What do I do?" How do you help something like that? People are getting married based on how good that person makes THEM feel, not on how that person compliements their life, or a real commitment, they lose a job or that car and that mate can't screw his best friend fast enough or kiss someone else. Men leave women who have their kid because they aren't getting any attention since the new baby came? I mean really!!! Where does it stop? It stops when responsible people take responsibility for their own actions, care for their young and step up to the plate. How many people here do you see doing that? How many people in these advice columns come here crying they are taking care of a sick spouse, not screwing her best friend or the nurse, and have five kids who are in college and working jobs to help pay? NO ONE! They don't need our help. All you can do is try and point the dopes in the right direction, help the misinformed, put spines in the spineless, and guts in the gutless and some shame in the shameless. GREAT QUESTIONS!!! Thank for letting me vent!
2006-11-14 06:05:57 · answer #3 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You pose a good question, I think the answer lies with the way kids have been brought up. They see somebody unhappy and walk away from a marriage right in their own families while they were small.
I also think that they are not being taught personal responsibility for their actions. Additionally they have grown up in a "ME" atmosphere, where what they want is more important than right and wrong.
All of them have to learn that happiness and validation are not things others can bring or give to them. Both come from within.
2006-11-14 05:45:37 · answer #4 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, marriage is sacred, but at times it can be difficult. As far as the divorces being the last and most extreme choice, we really have no idea how far the couple has taken their problems and maybe in thier case; divorce is the only way.
2006-11-14 05:58:05 · answer #5 · answered by Floss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you on marriage is sacred. do you think people writing want to disclose their most hurtful or emabrrassing moments in their failing marriage? prob not. But they do because they want to feel supported and have the strength to do the right thing. I don't think it is something that's "allowed to get married in the first place" I would like to believe that we all considered our marriages "sacred". We don't have control of what our partner will do in the future all we can do is hope they love and respect enough through the temptaions and struggles in life :)
2006-11-14 05:59:34 · answer #6 · answered by chitchat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is only what you make of it . . . and I'm sad to say, but many people get married for the wrong reasons (i.e. sex, money, good looks, etc.) . . so what happens when the sex is no longer good? or he/she runs out of money? or when that hot body no longer looks good? . . . the typical person wants to hit the highway and find a replacement . . . they don't understand the meaning behind the vows that they take . . being there in good times AND bad . . in sickness and in health . . for richer OR for poorer . . TIL DEATH DO US PART!! . . they forget that whole phrase, and are ready to quit at the first sign of trouble . . . some people are not meant to be married because they can't see beyond themselves . . meaning, they don't care about anyone's feelings except their own . . . but not all marriages are like this . . people who have good marriages don't have to ask questions here . . because when they want to know something, they ask their mate, not the whole world!!
2006-11-14 05:51:15 · answer #7 · answered by ♥LoisLane♥ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They marry based on feelings on infatuation and believe in "soul mates" and the idea of "love, but not in love" with someone. They have not had any role models growing up. No one taught them how to be a good husband/wife. Few believe in religion or go to church for guidance. Women don't feel they need to cook, clean or be "housewives". Men feel entitled to go to strip clubs because of the soft porn all over the place. People justify their bad behavior by saying "the kids would rather see me happy" and divorce, rather than considering that the kids would like them to stop arguing and grow up. No one has learned to manage money, divide the chores, or agree on parenting. Few bother with pre-marital counseling because it's "not romantic".
People seem to think they have this divine right to "be happy" at the expense of their responsibilities, commitments, and obligations.
I could go on, but I'll just say I'm a happily married woman who had to learn everything I just said.
2006-11-14 05:53:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The RIGHT marriage is not that difficult. Think about it...This wouldn't be that big of a forum if everyone said they had a happy marriage.
People just settle too fast. They don't hold out for that special someone that is perfect for them.
2006-11-14 05:48:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wish more people would have your views. I have been married for 8 yrs. and I've been with him for a total of 17. We have had our ups and downs but divorce is not even in our vocabulary.
2006-11-14 06:15:51 · answer #10 · answered by bfm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This section does make marriage sound like a bad deal. It makes me grateful I have such a kind and caring husband to go home to every night.
2006-11-14 05:58:55 · answer #11 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋