Why do my relationships end?

Question

I have always been inl ong term relationships that last 2-4 years but they always end. The weird thing is that all of my ex-boyfriends always want me back because I'm a good girl but why do they always end? It's not due to cheating just fighting and breaking up. I'm beginning to wonder if I will ever get married because all of my relationships never last. What causes someone to have such bad relationship skills?

Answer 1

There is something wrong with you and personally I blame it on Disney. I think you want a fantasy you want to always be swept up off your feet. Here's the thing if your unhappy you always will be until you can make yourself happy. The reason I say this is because you have developed a pattern when it happens multiple times then there is something wrong with you. Not saying that its a bad thing. Your like the movie runaway bride right. I think you need to figure out what you like and dislike because only then will you ever be truly happy with someone else.

I'm just going out on the limb here but that's my perspective. Try to figure out what makes you happy be alone for a little while so that you can come to these conclusions. On another note not everything needs to be a fairy tale and it isn't. So don't give up so easily on the relationship if you really want to be with someone then you should work harder to try to keep it. But first make yourself happy.

Answer 2

The honest answer is why should they marry you? I am assuming, of course, that you are living with these guys, right? If you are giving them all of the benefit of marriage, why should they commit?

I think that if a man hasn't asked you to marry him after about six months, he really doesn't want to get married - at least to you. If a guy is looking to get married and has found a woman he can love and trust, he will grab her before some other guy does.

I have had three relationships in my life and I'm 41. I was engaged to and living with a wonderful man for five years when I was 19. We only broke up because I wanted a baby and his kids were already grown. The next guy I was engaged to and living with I married and was married to for 18 years with three kids. I'm engaged now and living with the man I will marry in January.

I only say this because I would make sure that you are compatible and that both people are ready for a committed relationship. If he wants you bad enough and says that he loves you, he will put a ring on your finger BEFORE you move in together.

Answer 3

I don't know, it's hard to say why it happens in any partcular case. Perhaps you don't trust your instincts and follow the wrong leads; or you're not very skilled at maintaining the relationship; or you're attracted to people you ultimately cannot get along with. I think, everyone asks themselves at some point - "Is there something wrong with me?" It's a good question, as long as it doesn't only lead to self-pity and desperation.

My situation was somewhat different from yours; I'd been involved in many short-term relationships which would fall apart very quickly, usually within 3-4 months - about as long as it took me to figure it I could not possibly get along with the person long-term. I wondered for what reason I didn't seem to be able to meet a person with whom I could get along with, and who could get along with me. But I did meet such a person, finally; we got married a couple of months ago. It doesn't hurt to try to figure out what goes wrong in your relationships; but don't let it undermine your self-confidence. Good luck.

Answer 4

I can't answer this, but I will give you some advice on relationships....

every relationship is different.. just remember that whatever mistake you did in your last relationship... may or may not come up on your next relationship.. but it's always good to be ready for it... now... HABITS... that's different.. if your relationship ended because of a bad habit of yours... you might want to change that...

no one has bad relationship skills.. it all depends on what each person is looking for... for example... there are two guys.. one loves to have intercourse.. and the other doesn't.. which one do you take?... it all depends on what you want...

Answer 5

Its sounds like you have a pattern try reviewing your pass relationships and see if you can see a trend that causes the breakups. If you fall for the same type of guy or something that might trigger why your relationships fail. It might be helpful to do a time line. Be honest with yourself if you have habits that cause the relationships to fail because it takes two to have a relationship and to make it work. Good luck

Answer 6

seems like u have to figure out WHY there is so much Fighting and Breaking up going on. =T.... do u think it is YOU who is causing the fights? or is it the Guys? or, is it more than that.. something deeper..

i learned this (recently), and it really helped me to understand my previous relationships, as well as my current boyfriend right now. Men and Women think SOOOO differently... almost to the point of different species. like seriously, something so important and obvious to us, is like BLIND to guys...they have no idea until u spell it out to them..and then they're like, OHHH.... also, the man has to be mature enough to want to deal with a situation that occurs. so here's how i see it:

1) a woman has to be strong enought, and patient enough, to explain thoroughly in a way he can understand, exactly what the problem was, why it hurt ur feelings or was negative, and what u guys can do to change the situation for next time. u have to be willing to give him a chance to change, instead of just accusing and pointing fingers.

2) a man has to be strong enough, and try hard to, listen, understand, and work with you to fix whatever problems that occur, Together, Communicating with you. sometimes it's hard for a guy to do that (if he's immature, he may get extremely Defensive, not Listen to your situation, etc... even if he's a Good Guy, like my ex, he may just be not ready for a real relationship).

once i understood that, i realized that even though my exes were pretty stupid at times, i was so judgemental and pointed fingers that it didn't help him to change, and also he wasn't willing to listen when i explained the situations. both people need to work in ddifferent ways, to ultimately get thru the situation Together. if it works, u will come out Stronger each time, like me and my current boyfriend. good luck to u, and don't worry about the past.. once u find someone who is willing to get thru things With you, and you are willing to give him chances to change, u will see what a difference it makes from ur past relationships.

:) good luck~

Answer 7

I understand completely.

I thought about your question a lot, then read what others are saying here and there's truth to all of the answers. One I wanted to add was, like in my case, poor relationship examples as children. My parents fought and divorced when I was little. They didn't love eachother but they never were apart for long. I wonder if subconsciously I believe my relationships should be like that. Omg, I gotta go find a therapist. I think you opened pandora's box here..........

Answer 8

You just haven't met the right person. If there is no proposal after 3 years something is wrong and it is time to move on. Keep going the fact that your always in long term relationships means your doing something right. You'll meet your match just stick it out.

Answer 9

You may not have bad relationship skills. It could be the guys that you are getting involved with. Be careful who you get involved with. Do some research on them before you get too deep into them. Once you do this you will get a lasting relationship.

Answer 10

Do you have trouble trusting people? That could be the problem.

It's a risk but if you want to be happy, you have to let go of that fear and trust that the person won't trust you. It is also possible you have not met the right person yet....