'She left me for another guy who was appparently lying to her, her son (12) won''t talk to her, her life is going to hell. I still "care"for her but don't think I can go back. In the hour long conversation we had she didn't say she was sorry once. What would you do?
2006-11-14 05:01:00 · 18 answers · asked by Johnboy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was in a similar boat and went back.
However, before we got back together I grew and changed.
I'm more independent and overall a stronger person.
If you can get back together and be equals that's fine, but the catch is that being equals also means that she has to make up for what she did. I would ask her directly, "You hurt our relationship, so what are you going to do to fix it?"
If she talks, but doesn't answer the question then don't go back. If she actually list out what she is willing to do and she starts doing it then I'd give it a try.
2006-11-14 05:46:14 · answer #1 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go back to her after what she put you thru. You deserve better and its ok to care about this woman but only as a friend and not as a lover. She cheated on you and she didn't even respect you enough to tell you that she was sorry. Because you are the bigger person, forgive her in your heart because that is the Christian thing to do but you don't have to take her back just because you feel sorry for her. Be there as her friend and nothing more or she will hurt you again. God bless you
2006-11-14 13:06:13 · answer #2 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she isn't sorry, than she has learned nothing, and if she asked u to come home she is doing it because it didn't work out for her and the other guy. to forgive and go back into a relationship where we were hurt in, the one who betrayed us must show remorse for the hurt they caused us, if they don't, it means they learned nothing, and will only do it again. i would not go back,she's not sorry she hurt you she is only sorry the other relationship didn't work out. sometimes people have to learn that there are consequences for bad choices, and not being the least bit repentive. if your not sorry than u don't really think you've done anything wrong, it is all about her, not about your broken heart. u deserve so much better from a relationship. she needs to be able to see her wrong, and sometimes that can only happen if she has to suffer the consequences.
2006-11-14 21:31:17 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She left you b/c she thought the grass was greener. If she's never said she's sorry, it's b/c she's not. She's sorry that she left you for a loser, but she hasn't changed. She wants you to come home b/c her life sucks b/c she's made bad decisions. Once you've patched her feelings and life back together, she'll run off again. I'd stay away from her.
2006-11-14 13:05:33 · answer #4 · answered by Jan S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go "home". I would take care of my son and move on from the train wreck that is his mother. If she has no remorse for her actions, who is to say she would not behave that way again? Right now she is just sorry her life is in such a terrible state but can not understand that she is the one who put herself there.
2006-11-14 13:11:06 · answer #5 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would stay clear of the situation. Sounds to me like she just needs to have a man in her life no matter who it is. Tell her you care for her, but you can not set yourself up to be hurt again. If she can't even say sorry for her mistake then there is something wrong with that picture.
2006-11-14 13:03:26 · answer #6 · answered by SexyLady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
STAY AWAY!! Seems the only reason she wants you to come back is because she feels as if she has no one else in her life. Let her drown in her sorrows by herself. My husband's ex-wife left him for another man, by the way the other man was married as well and his wife was 6 months pregnant with their second child when he left her. For a long time my husband felt sorry for his ex ecspecially when the man she left him for cheated on her and divorced her. But we always have said that the "HELL" she dealt for my husband and their kids would come back on her one day. Well it has and it has come back on her twice as hard. And now she expects my husband to feel sorry for her, but all we do is sit back and laugh. That seems to be the issue with your ex, she is getting payback and she can't take it. Like they say "PAYBACK IS A M***** F***ER!!
2006-11-14 13:16:25 · answer #7 · answered by jb29 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is typical behavior with someone with her illness. If you go back she will just run off one day with someone else and again beg you to come back. It is nice you care, but you can not cure her. Its not like she has a cold that will go away in 10 days. It will only get worse, even with medication.
2006-11-14 15:48:27 · answer #8 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's afraid of being alone more than being able to truly fall in love. If you can tolerate it be her friend and help her through. I would leave it at that. She needs to acknowledge the pain that she has caused you before you could even think of trusting her again. In all honesty, I would stay away. It sounds to me she needs to do some soul searching before she will ever be worthy of anyone.
2006-11-14 13:07:02 · answer #9 · answered by 10 pts for me? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same boat. I envy you somewhat but I would not take her back unless she returned to the woman that you were in love with.
I would not let my wife come back unless she was very sorry and and it was obvious that she realized the hurt she inflicted on the kids and me.
2006-11-14 13:08:42 · answer #10 · answered by HonestGuy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋