My jobless teenage son got a $160 traffic ticket,we are going to have to pay for it. My question is this:?

Question

My husband says he just won't get anything for Christmas, I think he should work it off so that he's not left out at Christmas. What do you think???

Answer 1

YOU MAKE HIM GET A JOB AND PAY IT LIKE A REAL PERSON WOULD DO !!!!!!

Answer 2

I think its time for kid to get a job. Absent any job in the next two weeks the money comes out of his Christmas club.
What was the citation for $ 160 that did not include a big chunk of stupid.
Driving is a huge responsibility. Perhaps a kid who has no Christmas can reflect on the blessing that this ticket only cost him his holiday. This contact with the police could have been coupled with an ambulance, fire truck and wrecker. The result of which might have removed him from your Christmas forever.
I guess I'm with your husband on this one.
Wait until your insurance company finds out, it will be a LOT more than $160.00.

Here is a very sobering statistic. The USA has lost a little over 2500 teenagers in Iraq. We lose almost ten times that number annually to auto accidents. There is little excuse for getting a traffic ticket before he is 18. He did not have a job he was late for .
School might complain but he can be late there. There is no excuse for speeding. Other violations are simply a result of inattention or poor decision making, both poor practices behind the wheel. The thing that disturbs me regarding this thread is that we all seem to put the importance of giving and the holiday above the need to instil the need for responsibility required to drive a car.This encounter was the warning to you that he may not be emotionally prepared for the responsibilty to drive. To cover this cost by not having Christmas might just sink in.

Answer 3

A jobless teenager who gets a $160 ticket and has his Mom standing up against his father about how to pay for it, has more problems than just ticket coming in his life. First of all, a jobless teenager doesn't need a car. Second of all a jobless teenager with a $160 ticket needs to get a JOB! NOW PLEASE! And a jobless teenager with a Mother with no backbone will be having a live in 40 year old jobless son living with her divorced self if she doesn't get on top of this kid now. I would say taking his Christmas away wouldn't be right, but if you pay his ticket, I sure wouldn't be looking to buy him much more than a pair of socks. Specially if you give him an envelope with the paid ticket saying Merry Christmas son! Just a few thoughts! A Mothers job is not be be your childs friend, but to be a mother who raises her child to be a responsible, reliable, respectful, employed, dependable, and pleasant man. Anything else that doesn't make this boy a man is irrevelent. No one said being a Mother was easy and a Mother doesn't take the easy way out or make it easy for her kid to get out of trouble. If you keep taking up for him, he will not learn from his mistakes. CONSEQUENCES are good for children to learn how to become better people. Please let your son learn now, while his mistakes are little and he can learn from them. Make him pay THAT TICKET! Good luck!

Answer 4

Well, I guess the issue here is should he be punished, or not? If I had gotten a ticket, I would have felt SOOOO bad, and I don't think I would have needed any punishment to help me learn my lesson. So, I think working it off would be a good plan in that situation. However, if he is unrepentant, then maybe he needs some sort of punishment to help him learn that it was bad. I don't know if not giving him Christmas presents is the best thing though, and using the money you would have spent on presents for the ticket. I would think that a more fitting punishment would be to take away his driving privileges for a certain time, and maybe have to do some more driving with one of you so he gets to be a better driver.

I think, all in all, I agree with you, that he should work it off, because that seems like he would be more aware of the reason he's working, because he got a ticket. If you make paying the ticket for him his Christmas present, he would be more likely to be resentful and mad at you, instead of being repentant and learning his lesson.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I love Shakira's suggestion!

Make him pay for it off by doing household chores, but keep the amounts low. Hold the car hostage until he has paid you off with interest. Tell him the car will be taken away permanently if he ever gets so much as a parking ticket again. That will teach him!

Personally I think not getting him any Christmas presents lets him off the hook too easily. He just has to suffer through one Christmas without opening anything, while by working it off his punishment is extended so he gets more time to think about what he did.

If he's allowed to work (and especially if he is being lazy about finding a job), tell him punishment will be over if he can pay you back with wages from a job.

Answer 6

I think he should work it off.......noone should be excluded from the Christmas stuff. He f-ed up...ok...He is a teenager..all teens mess up at one time or another...some bigger than others, but don't take the holiday away. Let him do some work around the house......go by minimum wage and figure out how many hours he needs to put in. Then have him do yard work, fix the fence....ETC.... Also, you may not have to pay it....have him go to court and fight it, then they will give him a certain amount of time, he cannot get another ticket in that time, and if he does good, the ticket will not go on his record, and it won;t go on your insurance.

Answer 7

I would have your son work off the ticket as if he was employed. If he was holdinig a minimum wage job or let's be generous, a $7.00 an hour job he would have to do 23 hours of work around the house (and yard if applicable) to pay off the ticket. Of course as his two "bosses" you and your husband would set the work and time alotted for it (rake the leaves- 1 hr) and periodically review his work for quality control (in essense to make sure the work is getting done). I'm not a big fan of taking away Xmas but I would use that as the carrot to entice your son to work off his ticket. I would love to hear how this turns out (the choice of punishment and the end result). Good luck to you!

Answer 8

I think that I would ask him to work off the ticket.

By giving him an active role in correcting the problem he caused, you are treating him as an adult who can be trusted to fix a mistake, rather than as a child who needs to be punished. Further, by working, he will see first-hand the "value of a dollar", and maybe have the opportunity to gain some valuable job experience.

I'm sure that whatever you decide, he will at least realize that getting a ticket is not a good thing to do :) Good luck!

Answer 9

Why are you paying the ticket? He got the ticket make him pay it. If he is joblesss let him get a job. McDonald's, Burger King all of them are always hiring. You are inabilying him to be worthless. Why are you concerned about a Christmas gift. He made the decision to break the law let him pay the piper. If you bail him out now . What about the next ticket DWI, reckless driving etc. Making him responsible for his actions. Stop making him a mom's boy. That is what is wrong with kids today. Parents keep bailing them out and they never have to be responsible for their actions. Parents you need to grow up as much as the children. Who is in control of this family. Sounds like your son.

Answer 10

You could check with the court about having him work it off doing community service rather than you and your husband paying it in cash. In the meantime the car is gone until the fine is paid off and he can afford to pay his own car insurance and buy his own gas. He needs to learn a lesson about taking responsibility for his actions and that driving is a priviledge not a right. In most states a teen under 18 only has a provisional license that is revoked for any moving violation. So if he still has a license, he must be over 18 and considered an adult in the eyes of the court. So treat him as an adult and let him learn to be a responsible adult.

Answer 11

A lot of states offer a driving safety course when you get a speeding ticket. In TN. I got a $195.00 speeding ticket. My options were either take a 4 hr course which cost $55.00, and have the ticket stay off my record, or to pay the cost of the ticket, and allow my insurance to go up. If you live in a state that allows this course, Maybe you could pay for the course for him. Call it a christmas present. You'll still have money left for other gifts. Both you, and your husband win. Call your local police to find out if where you live has the driving safety course.