my husband did something that really hurt me and he knows it really hurt me and the pain from it will always be there. for the last month he changed the bad things he was doing. Now he is going back to many of the bad things he did and even some extra things he didn't do befor. Trying to lie to me and a new one getting angery with me very easily. He had really changed the attemps to lie to me and had become totaly honest with me. Now he is going back to it. I really thought he wanted us to work out, but ever since I have forgiven him for what he did he has started going back to the lies and now yelling. What should I do? I forgave him shouldn't he continue being good to me now? I really love him and I thought our love, his understand of what he did and willingness to change would be good reasons to stay with him even if what he did really hurt. What happened? Was I wrong to stay? Why is he being this way?
2006-11-14 04:38:34 · 16 answers · asked by desiree d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You just have to get him back on track! I have to do this with my husband every now an again. You can try and stop the habit or lying but it will not happen over night. What did he do? I can't answer the was I wrong to stay question whit out knowing.......
2006-11-14 04:47:57 · answer #1 · answered by littlegoober75 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your letting your husband run over you , he knows he can get away with it. Set him down and tell him that you will not put up with this type of behavior, and mean it. He is overbearing and if keeps dong these things after you tell him no more, If he keeps on pack your bags and leave and don't come running back if he decides to sweet talk you again. He needs to understand that you a human being just like he is and stay gone for as long as it takes. Start doing some of things he did to you, whats good for the goose is good for the gander.
2006-11-14 12:53:59 · answer #2 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will not change. As far as he is concerned he has paid for his sins and now he's back to business as usual. This is the real deal. That is who he really is. I am sure you love him, but he is showing you that he is not what you need.
Leave him. He will not ever change for you. It will not get better, as a matter of fact it's going to get worse. Why? Because you have just shown him that no matter what he does, you are going to take it. See, a few weeks of 'oh, I am so sorry. I'm working on being honest with you' is crap. You are either honest or you are not. You have seen that he is a liar. Why are you still laying beside him every night and walking beside him every day.
Give yourself the comforting that you are looking for from him. Love yourself more than you love him. I hope you don't have kids, but if you do then please leave for them. They need to see a woman who respects herself. Girls need to know they should be respected and cherished--they need to see Mom respecting herself. Boys need to see how women are to be respected and cherished. Do not show him how to be a disrespectful, hurtful liar to women. Aren't there enough of them out here already?
Best of luck to you. If you stay as strong for you as you are being for him, you will be fine.
peace.
2006-11-14 12:55:53 · answer #3 · answered by bluest storms 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK maybe before he was scared to loose you,and that's why he offered to change,but he really didn't mean it.Some guys feel that they don't have to respect a girl after they show their weakness for them.For example,he's probably thinking that since you didn't take stronger actions,your weak,and he has you on a leash,so he's going to continue doing what he's doing because he has no consequence to his actions.Now what you might be able to do is give him an ultimatum this time and follow through with it.But if your to weak to follow through,then that's on you.If you want to deal with it the rest of your life you can.But HE might be the one in the end ending your relationship because he can't stand your weakness.Because some guys do stuff just to get a reaction,they want to feel like you love them,and that you care.
2006-11-14 12:46:26 · answer #4 · answered by Shana T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is that old saying "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" - He won't change and you shouldn't really expect him too. I would get out and move on. He will only hurt you again and again. The question is do you want to stay with him knowing that he will intentionally hurt you often in this relationship?
2006-11-14 12:42:15 · answer #5 · answered by Alessa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From my experience.. be it my husband or my self.. if you change some kind of behavior just to please the other person, not because you are convinced that is the right thing to do, just to please that other person.. it won't last..you will eventually go back to the old behavior..Seems to me like your husband did the change temporarily to please you.. but now he is not even trying to pretend.. he is actually angry at you for asking him to change.. because deep down he doesn't think it is wrong and that he should change it.hence he went back to doing it. He will be angry with you, he will do things to spite you because he think you are the reason he is not comfortable doing what he wants because you make him feel guilty.
Ask him to genuinely change.. to be convinced that changing is the right thing.. not to do it just to please you.. other than that.. things wont get better they will get worse. Best of luck
2006-11-14 13:44:55 · answer #6 · answered by Samantha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you have to realise is that with the best intentions, men still need "training up". I have bad traits that my girl doesn't appreciate, and these have caused friction in the past, but she's patient with me, and just points things out without nagging. in turn, I try my best and I'm sure we get on a hell of a lot better now. Be patient if he's right for you (but it'll take years).
2006-11-14 12:42:09 · answer #7 · answered by mookvey 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is proof that GUYS DO NOT CHANGE.
You forgave him?? That just told him that he can get away with it and ask forgiveness later.
Don't let him do that you you. You deserve better. Dump him and find someone that wants to treat you with respect.
He being that way because he's a jerk and you don't have to put up with it.
2006-11-14 12:51:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if all had been forgiven and he is beginning to treat you badly then it sounds as if you are in a downward spiral. he is probably starting the same routine, and yelling at you and treating you with disrespect is his way of trying to switch the blame. you appear to always put him first. it's now time to change your routine, putting your wishes, wants, and desires your priority. let him wither in his self guilt, and get away from him. never trust your heart with someone not worthy of it.
2006-11-14 12:49:54 · answer #9 · answered by sickofmakinthemgo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What incentive does he have to change? Forgiveness is one thing, continuing to allow his behavior is another. Make some reasonable demands and create some consequences to go along with it. You have to train people how to act toward you.
2006-11-14 12:40:58 · answer #10 · answered by bdenton2k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋