Should I let him RE enlist?

Question

i am 20 yrs old with a military man who's now serving over in Kuwait, wont be back till February. Military is a stable life because it is a Set pay check, AWESOME health benefits and the BAH (housing allowance) is awesome. He would get a 15,000 re enlistment bonus, which isn't that great but hey its something. if he stays in he wants to become a physicians assistant, then a Dr. Right now he is a pharmacy tech, that almost has his bachelors in Health management.
The thing is that this deployment has been real rough on him and I, and we have an amazing little 3 yr old daughter that really really misses her daddy!He is up for re enlistment should I ask him not to? I feel like family should be more important then financial stability yet that is something that you need to get by. its a real hard situation! I am not good at this long distance thing at all, and neither is he. I dint know If i could make it through another one.
WHAT TO DO?
thanks in advance

I dont mean let as in it is my decision alone, he asked me for my input. Way to focus on the wrong thing.

my main question is IS FAMILY STABILITY MORE IMPORTANT THEN FINANCIAL?

Answer 1

This is tough for your whole family. Have you talked about your concerns with him yet? Maybe if you talked honestly about it he would realize himself how hard it is on everyone. Always be supportive though(it sounds like you are anyway) because this decision is hard for him too. I imagine he misses you and his baby like crazy. Just talk to him and tell him how you feel, but try to stick with him no matter what.

Good luck to you all! Tell your husband thanks for all the work he does in Kuwait to support our military and thanks to you for supporting him. I think the wives & family need to be thanked just as much as the ones serving.

Answer 2

I understand your pain...I grew up in a military family. The question is not "should you let him re-enlist" but "Does he want to re-enlist?" He may view the military as a career and it looks as if you may not. Will he re-enlist as an officer or an enlisted man? If he is able to re-enlist as an officer, it's much better for the both of you. He may be deployed again, but understand that this is what the military is paying him for. On the bright side, it looks as if things will get better because the Republicans are being pushed out of Washington and they're the only ones interested in deploying the troops.
Chin up...this is what you signed up for by marrying him. Stand by his decision!

Answer 3

There are allot of perks being in the military but as you have mentioned its not the easiest life to live for the spouse or the soldier. I have been a Army wife for 15 years and have always supported my husband in any decision he has ever made for him and our family. That is key! That if he makes these decisions for the better of the family then you need to learn how to deal with the time apart, it is however not forever as it feels. Be proud of your husband and teach your daughter the same, he is fighting for her freedom in the long run...

Answer 4

This should be a decision that BOTH of you decide together. You need to sit down and talk about the pros and cons of re-enlisting. Talk about your feelings, the affects it will have on your child, etc... and go from there. Financial stability is just that - STABILITY!! Woman need stability. They need to know that they are going to be taken care of. You are very fortunate that you don't have a lazy bum who makes you take care of him financially. Look past the diffuculty of him being gone and see the doctor that he wants to become and encourage him to fulfill his goals. But most importantly, TALK!! Lay everything on table before making a decision that big. Best of Luck to you all!!

Answer 5

I spent my career in the Air Force so I can relate to your question. My husband served his career as a marine, so I speak from experience. We too had to look at this same decision. My concern is your words, "Should you let him".

You certainly need to make your feelings known but you MUST support HIS decision. The worst thing you can do is try to impose your will on a man. It will breakdown your family very quickly. He has to feel like he is making the decisions and supporting his family. What are his options when he gets out? This deployment is temporary, look down range at the big picture. He needs to support his daughter, and you need to support both of them, emotionally. Also remember that he wants his daughter to be proud of her daddy. Being in your position is VERY tough and I commend you for it. I just caution you not to try to control his decisions and allow him to weigh the facts and review all the pro's and con's. Either way it goes, respect and support his decision. My hat goes off to you too, I learned something in the military....we often call you a "dependent", however, it's people like us, who are dependent on you to keep the homefront running smoothly while our men & women are doing what they need to do to protect and serve. All involved make great sacrifices. God bless you and your family, especially that sweet little girl.

Answer 6

There are thousands of couples in the same situation as you two. You need to talk the situation over with him when he is back in the good old US of A and look at the pros and cons. Then make decisions on where you two plan ot be in one, five, ten, and twenty years from now.

Answer 7

this is such a tough question to answer in such little space. I don't know if you are a God believer, but prayer can often make a huge difference in your heart, soul and mind. Maybe if you talk over with him all the pros and cons and see how he is feeling as well, this will help clear things up. I wish ou al lthe best and good luck.

Answer 8

that's attainable with any branch of the service, even though that's dfficult. I do have a private buddy that grew to become into given a favourite discharge from the army. After years of turning his existence around, he ultimately grew to become into waiting to connect the California national look after. He reached the rank of seargant and grew to become into killed in Iraq 2 years in the past for the time of his third excursion there.

Answer 9

should you "let" him?, not your choice. this is a family decision.

being married to a military man is hard work and takes a lot of commitment to stand by your man. sounds like you bit off more then you could chew.

discuss this delimma with your husband and make a choice together in the best interest of your family.

Answer 10

Should you LET him? LET? its not your place to LET him do anything, it is his career, his life, the military just isnt a job it is a way of life, the only decision you need to make is whether your willing to support HIS decision in the matter.