why do woman cheat on a faithful spouse?

Question

hi everybody,I posted another question not to long ago.but anyway this question has to do with a womans infedelity to a faithful spouse.I'v been married 14 years and provided my wife with what I though she wanted and needed.she on the other hand was always drinking and on the net at home while I busted my butt earning a living so that I could put food on the table and clothe on my wife and 2 childrens backs.I have always been faithful never abused her in any way and very supportive of what she wanted in life.now she is up north with our kids ,but is coming home do to the kids being home sick.she tells me we're only going to be friends cause she's got some 25 yr old guy who is going through a divorce him self telling herwhat she wants to hear,I'm 32 and shes 34yrs old.they say I look 20.any way people tell me since this guy is staying up north they,relationship wont work cause its long distance and it will fade.they tell me I can save my marriage.I'm still very much in love with her.

Answer 1

Ask her if she would like to go to marriage couseling with you. Don't worry about the other dude. Just try the best you can to get her back. Let her know that you still love her and want to be with her and that you love the kids too! Try and make it work as best you can, if not for yourself, your kids need both of you! Good luck! Pray about it! God bless!

Answer 2

I had been completely faithful to my wife. We had a great marriage. Out of nowhere, I caught her in a lie that led me to take a look at what was really going on. When I found she was in fact cheating I was in disbelief. I guess I was taking her for granted. I never chose to cheat even with a few offers from women that I knew. I never wanted to take that chance. To this day, my wife either can't explain her actions truthfully, or doesn't know herself. Not long ago I found not only did she carry on with 1 guy, but she was seeing 2 guys, and there was a 1 time thing with another guy. To me she has serious issues that are her problem, not mine. I always treated my wife good, never ever hit her, not even after finding how many men, and who knows how many times she went with them for sex. I am still with her only because of my kids. If it wasn't for them, I would have left her with all her issues. I feel no trust, I have no respect for her, and my love for her has faded beyond hope. Divorce is going to happen in the future. I hope anyone that reads this that is thinking of having an affair, reconsider, it will ruin your relationship in seconds. There won't be much to salvage. You will wind up divorced.

Answer 3

Why would you want her back after what she has done to you? My husband works his butt off to give me and our children a good life. He has changed my life for the better. He helps my family, my friends. Sometimes I feel lonely because of his long work hours and when he is home he is too tired for anything and prefers to watch t.v. but I get over it and go on. One night of passion is not worth destroying my marriage. And where is the time for an affair anyway. I mean, I take 3 kids to school, and another to mommy and me. I cook, clean, volunteer, do charity work and take care of 6 animals. I do laundry, rub my husbands feet and do the grocery shopping. Where in there is the time for another man?! That's ridiculous. I would not cheat if I wanted to. I would feel horrible. My husband does not deserve that. He does so much for me. How unappreciative would that be? I would never be able to handle such guilt. You deserve so much better. A wife that has only you and the kids on her mind. I hope you don't take her back. I hope you find a woman that appreciates you the way I appreciate my husband. Take care.

Answer 4

It's possible that you're everything she wants and needs. Being always on "her service" sometimes could be boring as she always knows that you're going to be there next to her. Her problem is that she takes you for granted. You might sometimes act like if you were not interested, not rushing back home, make some going out evening with your own friends (and without her) or even receive a (arranged) phone call from an unknown woman!!! Then she might understand what you mean to her and to feel that you could lose your interest in her. Everyone likes and needs challenge from time to time. So do it for her! Good luck.

Answer 5

The same goes with men that cheat on faithful women. I hope things work out for you two. Alcohol can tear a marriage apart by itself. I know I am married to a man that is an alcoholic and has cheated on me numerous times.
Best of luck. If she is seeing someone maybe you should do the same.

Answer 6

In love with what???How can you even fix your mouth to say you love such a person?Look,you love those who love you back,that's what makes love grow between people,giving and getting back.What are you getting that resembles love ?You are in love with the idea of who she could be but who she is is not lovable.Stop convincing your self that you love her and let that fool go.The most important thing I want to say is don't go out and pick the same woman over in a different package.We pick our loves and choose who we see,you picked her and if you think back,she was the same person then she is now.Open those eyes and don't make these choices again.Good Luck.

Answer 7

Once a women goes outside the marriage she will keep doing it, you should divorce her and try to get custody of your children, a woman trying to date a younger man is not stable she sounds like a bad mother. 14 years is a long time but your still young and could move on. Good luck

Answer 8

You can only save your marriage if she also wants to save it.

You cannot make a person love you or be faithful to you.

If she doesn't have any responsibility or morals you can't make her have them.

What you can do is be a good father to your children, and learn from this so it won't happen to you again.

Answer 9

My question to you is why do you think so little of yourself that you would want to stay in a relationship where you are mistreated in this way. If she can't see what you have sacrificed for her and your children then she deserves to be with some wet behind his ears young punk. I know you still love her but there alot of women out there that would love a man like you, trust me.

Answer 10

While you were busting your butt to support your family, she was lonely at home. Her emotional needs were not being met and she turned to other things, rather than communicate her needs and work it out with you.

If you want to save the marriage, it will take two people working hard at it. You need to find a good marriage counselor, honestly get at the root of the problem, and work together to overcome it.

Best Wishes,
Sue