Are we in control of our Feelings towards people and can we choose to fall or not to fall in love? True Love?

Question

Some say you only find true love once in your life. I believe you make a soul mate, the longer two people are together and work on their marriage the better soul mates you become. But what if you find another and then are torn between two people? Surely this is common out there. To be married, love your spouse but then stumble upon someone else. Then you wonder if this was meant to be your sould mate.

Answer 1

You can not control your feeling but you can control how you deal with them. Don't go around cheating. Avoid temptation. If you find you no longer love your spouse be honest about it. Show respect for her feelings. Wait to be single before moving on with someone else. If you already are in love with someone else do not get physical until your divorce is final. Your spouse deserves this respect as long as she has not wronged you. Also, it is possible to be in love with two different people. You have to decide who is right for you. No one else can do this for you. If you are already married I suggest not seeing the other person anymore. Don't be unhappy though. You must follow where your heart takes you. Good luck!

Answer 2

If you are in love with your spouse honor and respect her or him. The grass always looks greener on the other side. Life is a two way street with lots of cross streets that can turn your life upside down. A soulmate is the person you love and that you would give your life for , you honor and respect. That should never change. We are in control of our feelings. We just have to keep lust and the devil out of our lifes. Love yourself and your marriage respect each other and give that the effort you want to put into an affair, that will be looking the dull and boring after a few years of not be cared for. Your wife or husband is like a garden. Take care of it and it will feed you and help you grow. Let the weeds get in and do not feed and water and it will die, just like a marriage. You can't fall out of love if you have been watering and caring for your spouse , but if the weeds get in it looks like the love is gone . It is only not being cared for by the most important gardener you.

Answer 3

My take on it is this: 'romantic' love is a type of madness, like a drug. Usually your first experience with 'falling in love' can never be repeated. Many people confuse love with lust, because everything seems so new and exciting compared to the comfortable sameness of an existing relationship. Never open a new door before closing the old, or you will be in misery eventually.
No, we cannot control whether or not we actually 'fall in love', but we CAN control the ramifications of it. But like I said, it's a type of madness, and clear thinking is unlikely at that point. If you were truly honest with yourself, and TRULY in love with your mate, you will know you wouldn't seriously consider another person. Fantasy is alright, but usually it ought to remain a fantasy, because the reality is almost always going to let you down.

Answer 4

I think you can fall in love many times, and there is not just one soul mate out there. Things happen to a marriage as it ages. We were never meant to live as long as we do. Even just 100 years ago, people died early -- men in farming accidents, women in child birth or child bed. And it is not uncommon to see in cemetaries a man with his three wives buried next to him, or a wife with her 5 husbands buried next to her..... Now, we have people living well into their 80s.
True love is also a matter of the best available options. If a woman is in a horrid home situation with parents that are drunks, or druggies, even at 17 or 18, she might see a man as her rescurer, and find true love in that. After her children are in hs she may become bored that she is no longer needed, and she and her husband are leading separate lives. Say they divorce. She and he are now single. She finds someone also available, and he is exciting, different, and perhaps more in common with her now that her ex. For sure, he is now a soul mate, and they may marry. Later, she or he may become ill, or disinterested, and divorce. Each of them may now be in retirement. And each now may meet someone who shares the interests that people have at retirement. Money and huge success is no longer a goal -- but companionship is.

The moral person realizes that it is far better to tell one's mate that they wish out of the marriage, before they choose to cheat. Those people could never stand the guild involved in cheating.... Betrayal is not okay, not ever. This is not to say that marriage is always wonderful, sex is always passionate, and we each stay "in the same book, on the same page" for 30 years. At the same time, it admits that we all now live longer, and perhaps for one or the other, being single to search is better than remaining to wallow in nothingness.

Does this help? or have I just confused it for you?

Answer 5

ABSOUTLY you can find someone else after being married. I think this normal for all people. the thing about it tis that not all people are willing to admit that they love the person there with at this very moment and that will never change, but in fact it can chancge after a while. i mean yes its nice to flirted with but i honeslty yhink that there is a very true souls mate for each and every person in this world, is it wrong maybe becuase we let so much time go by in out marriage but at the same token you never asked to have the feelings you have for the other person, it would be foolish for one not to admit that they truly deep down know that they found there soul mate and not admit it to yourself your spiuse. All one person in this wortld wants to be is to be very happy and that is they its supposed to be good luck

Answer 6

Well I am not married so I am definitely not an expert on that, but I feel that there is always a possibility of meeting someone else that you can like when you are with someone. The question is, are you committed to the one you are with? Because if you are, then you will leave the other person alone no matter how tempting it might seem. Otherwise, it really isn't a committment is it?

Answer 7

People with integrity don't put themselves in a position where they can develop "feelings" (as you put it) for somebody else. It's that simple.

As for "choosing" to fall in love: that takes two: you aren't very emotionally mature if you are "falling in love" with people who aren't interested, respectful and affectionate toward you.

And the idea there is one soulmate is a cultural myth. There are many people with whom you can share a healthy relationship, but you have to get out there and meet them if you haven't already.

Answer 8

nicely i found myself in the different area of the coin. the guy that i have been courting for 8 years, replaced into dishonest on me for over a three hundred and sixty 5 days and a 0.5. i won't be able to inform you procedures a lot it hurts even as one famous out. that is dis-respectful, and hurtful. i keen to distance myself from him, besides the undeniable fact that the wear replaced into done. He nonetheless said as me soliciting for sex, and many times i might want to provide in. Now i attempt to avert, and experience sorry for the different female that doesn't recognize. It makes me experience not so stupid anymore. that is problematical because I do love him, yet in case you'd be with 2 people, perhaps you want to imagine about your movements extremely nicely, because faster, or later the consequences will fall on you. in case you want your spouse a lot, perhaps you may get counseling. that is not incorrect, or good to love 2 people, besides the undeniable fact that it is not honest for you, or them. you may finally end up on my own, so i might want to guage the consequences. perhaps you'll come across a medium, and be unmarried and date who you want, yet even as it contains fiddling with 2 people's emotions you'll free on the end. reassess your movements formerly both locate out. it really is all i can inform you. if you're fiddling with 2 people it doesn't have something to do with love. it really is honestly not genuine love.

Answer 9

uh....i know this i loved one man deeply...........i will fall in love again....but it will never be the same.