I posted a question before about me remaining a virgin for 5 yrs. My husband never penetrated but just had oral sex. Thanks to your answers, I found out he is seeing someone else. BUT what I dont understand is....he just started seeing her 8 months ago, and he didnt answer if he had sex with her.
Is it possible for him to penetrate her given the fact that he didnt stray for a whole 4 yrs but never penetrated me? I mean, can a normal guy refrain from getting in for all these years?
His excuse now is my tobacco consumption put him off but he never said that before and he didnt penetrate even when I didnt smoke....
'It' would stand for a little while but never get in but he would ***.I have no clue. First he said he is incapable now he says it was voluntary. Could I have a prob then?
But I always had normal sexual desires, just remained faithful and virgin for his love. I am moving on but the curiosity is killing me. Impotence and infidelity doesnt go. If he's gay then why a girl!
2006-11-14 03:55:30 · 36 answers · asked by distressed_needhelp 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The 'smoking' thing is totally irrelevant, for how would it relate to him not having penetrative sex? I mean, you smoke using your mouth don't you? So, if anything, smoking should affect oral sex, not the other kind!
I have trouble understanding the basis of your non-sexual relationship for all this time. But it does seem to be the case that it is your husband who has the sexual problems, and now also fidelity problems. So, as you so rightly indicate, you are moving on. I wouldn't waste any further curiosity on him, but make sure you now have a fully satisfying life.
2006-11-14 04:08:47 · answer #1 · answered by PhD 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This just don't make know sense you stay a virgin until marriage you get married and you haven't had sex yet wtf is going on if he was into you there is viagra pumps and many other ways he could get it up to pleasure you. This guy makes know sense
and the impotence thing what a load of crap if he's been messing around with another girl for the last eight months then
I would consider he feels like a pansy that can't furfill his wifes needs or is scared to be the first man your with some guys do feel it a big burden to take a womens virginity he may be one of them. Talk to him ask him why he has been cheating on you
it may be simple answer but really it sounds like you need to get laid NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
2006-11-14 04:20:17 · answer #2 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, well, oral sex is a very good substitute for penetrative sex, but I am amazed that a person would want to have nothing but oral for a full 5 years (or 4, if he is having 'normal' sex with this other girl)
maybe he was scared of taking your virginity. perhaps he thinks there will be lots of blood or something.
I - personally - given the choice, would rather have sex with a non-virgin... but that's just a preference, i would not make it a 'way of life'.
he has some issues....you need to talk honestly, and find out what the other girl offers that you don't.....it may not be sexual, but one big reason for infidelity, is because *she* has something you don't ...whether that is to do with personality or sex or...whatever
2006-11-14 04:07:56 · answer #3 · answered by Vinni and beer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear that your having a bad time right now. do you know for definate that it is a girl that he has been seeing. he may be seeing a guy. as for not penertrating you for 5 years, being gay seems like the only option. maybe he married a woman to try to control his urges for men. maybe he thought he would grow out of it. same as when he didnt answer you when you asked if he had sex, maybe he didnt want to tell you cause it is a guy. you need to find out so you can move on. get a few mates together and go and have a good time you deserve it. if im completley barking up the wrong tree im very sorry it just seems the only logical answer. and its not you otherwise he wouldnt have married you in the first place. i think you need to go and have great sex as surely you must be very very frustrated
good luck
2006-11-14 04:08:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie he not gay and if he so be it, the thing that you know now and you have to move on with your life. And i hope that you know that dfeep down in your heart. Staying will only cause you more pain. He is the one that has several serious issues with you and the tabocco thing is just a way for him to get oout of with you. the best thing is to move and to give yourself to someone that will love repect you for the rel person you are. Yes infedlity hurts but what can we do when he doesnt want us anymore, i wouldnt want him to be with just because i was sad and hurt over everything, and trust me when i tell you this if he has doen this once he will do it again. you cna email if you want to talk further good luck charlotte
2006-11-14 04:02:20 · answer #5 · answered by prettygirl new orleans 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no i have seen this before. The man can have penatrative sex with someone else but not his wife. Something has happened along time ago (5 years) maybe he strayed then i don't know which is why he feels guilty towards you. The other woman has no attachments to her so he can go the whole hog. (well thats what he is!) DON'T let him put the onus on you, this is not your fault but his own securities. My advise if you wan't to take it, is kick him to the kerb.
good luck in what you decide. x
2006-11-14 04:43:22 · answer #6 · answered by madmoo0 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Saying it is was voluntary is just his way of deflectin his guilt onto you I think. Did you ever see him have an erection at other times - in his sleep maybe?
It could have been a psychological problem with him - desire to perform because you saved yourself for him - or maybe he found that off putting - that he didn't want to 'despoil' you. The fact that he obviously repeatedly tried to have sex with you and was happy to try to meet your needs in toher ways doesn't suggest that he found you off putting.
I'm sorry this has happened to you and wish you luck in finding a man who can meet your every need and desire.
2006-11-14 04:02:12 · answer #7 · answered by Leapling 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is impotent and has to keep trying to reaffirm his manhood by both blaming you for it and getting a new girl. Kick him to the curb girl..he will keep doing it over and over and you can live without it....especially since he isnt man enough to admit he has a problem and blames you for it. Get out now while your self esteem and virginity is whole. He doesnt deserve either.
2006-11-14 04:02:37 · answer #8 · answered by dragonrider707 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's obviosly a hard time for you but i think if he's chaeting with someone now he's done it before trust me on that one.
This is not the first time he's cheated...
Sorry hun just get rid of him and move on to a happier place
Take care
2006-11-14 04:05:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the reason I now think sex before the wedding is a must.He has problems and you put up with it for how long?He has serious issues and if he doesn't get help.leave the marriage,I say this because if things don't change you will eventually cheat on him and that won't solve anything.
2006-11-14 04:07:52 · answer #10 · answered by punkin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋