I have been having an affair with a married man for two years now. I have fallen in love with him and he has told me he loves me and had feelings for me as well. We live in different cities, see each other when time allows and talk on the phone daily sometimes two three times a day.
Recently I asked him was he seeing others besides me and his wife (meaning was he sexually involved with others) -- he told me yes there were 4 others :( he is free to do what he wishes but 4?
I am heartbroken, but he continues to tell me how much our friendship and our relationship means to him and that he would never lie to me therefore the reason he told me the truth.
My first instinct is to tell him to get lost and never speak to him again. Is it possible that he means what he says and that he does love me and respect me or am I being stupid and I am just one more piece of a$$ for him? I can't seem to get him out of my head and it hurts to have allowed myself to be so stupid.
2006-11-14 03:51:07 · 36 answers · asked by heart wide open 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
trust your instincts honey he is emotionally unavailable to anyoen you should tell him ty for his honesty but you have more respect for yourself than that, and you deserve so much more, pray about it and know that God made some one for everyone you need to concentrate on you and he will send someone to you, you can trust that!
2006-11-14 04:01:01 · answer #1 · answered by justice4jcc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you have,but many of us have as well.First you know that sex with another woman's husband is disrespectful to the wife,your self and God.Second there will come a day when you will find a man that wants to marry you and you will have to deal with Karma,what goes around soon or later comes around.Women like you help men cheat and if not you then some other,He has no character and no integrity and that is enough to make him undesirable.You put your life on the line each time you sex this whore and mean while his wife doesn't know that aids and std's are very apt to enter her life,Stop this mess and clean your self up,get your own man and leave that woman's husband and his ghetto ways to her.
2006-11-14 04:01:38 · answer #2 · answered by punkin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should trust your first instinct. He is playing you like a fiddle and has no intention of leaving his wife for either you or any of the other 4 women that he is involved with. He is also giving the other four women the same lines that he is feeding you. Sorry to be so blunt but that is the truth and if you say good-bye to him you'll be replaced just as fast by another.
2006-11-14 03:54:25 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um, I really don't even see why you asked this question. You already know the answer, whether you like it or not. You are nothing to him. First, he is married. He is not leaving his wife. Next, you are not even the only mistress. Lastly, why would you want someone like him in the first place. Don't you think you deserve better. He made a vow to his wife which he does not respect at all. He doesn't respect himself, so what is sexy about that. Move on.
2006-11-14 03:54:47 · answer #4 · answered by thesweetestthings24 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG..you mean he's cheating with OTHER women?? Imagine that!
1.) He is not your man. So its not your business what he does.
2.) What is your business is that you are wh0ring around with a married man.
3.) You first instinct should be to tell him to get lost and never speak to him again...not because he upset YOU..but because what YOUR doing is wrong.
Wrong.
Wrong.
4.) How do you sleep at night knowing you are destroying another female..someones family...?
5.) And good...I'm glad he "broke your heart"...now you know how his wife will feel WHEN she finds out about you.
2006-11-14 03:58:02 · answer #5 · answered by Shakira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont believe a word he says. Whether there is any truth to what he says is anyone's guess. Yes, he's using you. An insecure male seems to have the need to use women with their con artist ability. Perhaps it comes from a lack of love/respect for/from their mother.
Go with your first instinct. Of course it hurts, and turn that hurt to logic as a tool to put him out of your head. Heed this emotionally expensive learning lesson!
2006-11-14 04:08:36 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are having an affair with a married man-you deserve the situation that you are in. What makes you think he would be honest with you. I don't mean to hurt your feelings in any way but, why don't you find a man that does not belong to someone else, there are millions of them out there!
2006-11-14 03:54:29 · answer #7 · answered by Urchin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is using you. you are only a sexual conquest when it is convenient for him. your heart is involved so it is hard, but......
try to be strong, and get yourself out of that situation. try to heal. definetely try to talk to a psychologist about it, because there sounds like there are some deep seated issues within you. maybe self esteem/self worth? think about it, i know deep down you know the real you. and i also believe that deep down you know that you deserve better than this. there are others out there who will love you and treat you the way you deserve and who will cherish and honor you enough so that they won't even WANT anyone else besides you.
your married man is a dog in heat, screwing everything and everyone.....his wife, AND you included. but at the end of the day, it is her arms he runs to, and THEIR bed he curls up in, and she is his number one.
don't you deserve more? if you don't think so, or don't know.......
get up right now, and schedule an appointment.
2006-11-14 04:28:55 · answer #8 · answered by lilac b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have low self esteem and no morals what so ever.
married men are off limits. and the one you found is a real peice of work. he has no respect for you, you are delusional if you think he does. you are being used, getting what you deserve.
get some counceling for yourself, and figure out why you would settle for such a dysfunctional lifestyle. is this what you dreamed of as a little girl? your parents did you an injustice, by not raising you with morals and self respect.
2006-11-14 04:11:46 · answer #9 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious this man is no good. Married with 5 mistresses. Why on earth would you even think he is worth your time? Get out now ! He does not love and respect anyone in this situation.
2006-11-14 03:57:47 · answer #10 · answered by mnwomen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant believe you even asked "or is he using me?" - yes, of course he is.
1) he is married - NEVER date, have sex with a married person
2) he is married
3) he is married
The three reasons above should be all it takes to not see him or talk to him again. Oh, and the 3 other women he is doing the same thing with.
Come on snap back to reality.
2006-11-14 03:57:05 · answer #11 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋