Ever since she found out how much her kids adore me she has told my boyfriend (her ex husband) that the kids are not allowed to be around me. They have shared custody and practice co-parenting. He argued that they are his kids, too and that I am good for them...to which she said, "I don't like her and she is not to be around our kids!" The kids love me...want me at their soccer games, plays, etc...beg me to stay when it's time to leave. (she never attends these events and treats them as an inconvenience to her "partying" schedule) I love the kids. Ex wife has said that after my boyfriend and I have dated for one full year I am allowed to be around the kids...I understand she may be afraid of them growing close and me leaving, but he and I are already making long term plans. We are all upset by this. How do we sway her from these demands?...and not make her more upset. She's pretty crazy and we don't want to rock the boat too much...suggestions?
2006-11-14 03:43:56 · 7 answers · asked by Jennifer L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's rough, believe me, I know. I went through kind of the same thing. The difference was that I was not allowed to see his daughter when we started dating and I had no relationship with her. But I just rode it out and her mother eventually came around. The problem just resolved itself in time. She even calls and asks me to babysit for her when he is out of town and she always talks about how much her daughter loves me. Believe me, I NEVER thought we would get to this point. I know it's not much and it's even sadder because you already have a relationship with the kids. But just be patient and try to reassure her that you are not trying to take her place in their lives. These things usually have a way or working themselves out over time.
2006-11-14 03:53:47 · answer #1 · answered by justcurious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AS a stepfather who didn't have to deal with an ex-husband, I may not be the best authority. I would recommend that if you relationship is strong with BF, i.e. engaged; ex-wife can not argue your presence. You are (at that point) a part of their father's life. However, you must consider her perspective as a parent, a GF may not be a permanent part of the former spouse. So why risk the children's emotions in getting attached when they may soon have to deal with the loss.
Good Luck.
2006-11-14 12:07:25 · answer #2 · answered by zax_fl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No matter what her demands are they have custody papers to follow. I'm pretty sure your not involved in them. She must stick to the terms and if she chooses not to then your BF needs to take her back to court. She is just being jealous and petty and not putting the feelings of the children first.
This is what you are signing up for so be prepared for a long fight.
2006-11-14 11:50:45 · answer #3 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you married now? Because if so, oh well, she'll have to deal with it. If not, maybe have everyone involved sit down and talk about it. Maybe by having the children there, she may realize what a idiot she is being.
2006-11-14 13:31:12 · answer #4 · answered by Fuzzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you have no legal grounds to stand on. No matter how much you love them, they aren't your kids.
2006-11-14 11:48:24 · answer #5 · answered by No-Dogg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is really not your problem. It is between the parents of these children.
2006-11-14 11:46:39 · answer #6 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignore her, she wants control and cannot have it unless you give in to her ridiculous demands.
2006-11-14 11:48:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋