I hope it possible to get the feelings back. I just yesturday told my hubby that I don't feel the same for him after 11 year. I want to feel the same way I did but I don't and I am asking for a chance to get that back like some space but I do want it to work. Ask him if there is a chance he will ever feel the same and go by his answer hopefully he is honest about it... Good Luck and if his feelings are true then he probably is going through a hard time also cause it is hard to admit that feelings are gone.
2006-11-14 03:53:56
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answer #1
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answered by 2strongfor2long 3
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I have been married 17 1/2 yrs,,,,,,,,we've been together almost 19 yrs.right after our 13 yr marriage,I went through the same thing. I left him,because I didn't have the same love for him after all those yrs,we stayed separated for a 1 1/2 ,,,,,we just let thing flow as they would. WE both dated ,never divorced.But in the end we found each other again.Sometimes I just think ppl need space,especially after starting a serious relationship so young,,,I was 16 1/2 and he was 19 1/2 when we met,,we dated a 1 1/2 ,,,then we got married when I was 18.And marriage takes alot of work,,and if he's just wanting it to be over and final maybe he's not who you thought he was.
2006-11-14 03:47:32
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answer #2
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answered by Mother of 2 girls 3
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This is a really hard pill to swallow, but if he has made his mind up then there is nothing you can do about it. I would try to get him to separate for a while and his feelings could change after being away from you. I would try to talk to him and tell him that it is not over for you and that you would like him to try to find what it is that made him fall in love with you in the first place. If he still wants to go through with a divorce then i would say good riddens honey. I am so sorry that you have to go through this but you need to be independent and do what is right for you. I tell women all the time that when they start doing what is right for them and become strong independent women men can not keep themselves away. I had a similar situation when my husband and i were dating. We had been dating for a few years when he told me that he did not love me anymore. I was crushed, but i had no choice but to let him go. I did not call him or try to see him for about a year. During that year i focused on school and myself. I became very strong, independent and confident. I went out with a few guys but did not date anyone seriously, i was to independent to have a man in my life. When i finally reached a point where i was over him, i decided to call him for some closure. We talked for about an hour not mentioning our relationship once. About a week after the phone call i got an email from him telling me how much he missed me and realized how stupid he was for letting me go. A year later we were married. I am not saying that this will happen in your case, but some time apart can work wonders! But you need to spend that time working on you and not worrying about how to get him back. I will pray for you and it breaks my heart to hear of people going through this. I can't stress how important it is for you to WORK ON YOU!!!
2006-11-14 04:01:56
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answer #3
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answered by micah z 4
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This is tough. But once some people make up their minds there's no changing it. I would suggest some type of change of pace, a cruise, retreat, trip across the country in a rented RV anything in an effort to relax and escape the mundane. Most people don't like to be alone, so I wonder if he has found someone else. I wish you the best. Won't he even go out for coffee or breakfast or dinner and have a discussion.
2006-11-14 03:36:18
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answer #4
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answered by Darby 7
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You can't force him into counselling but you can go for yourself. I know how hard it is, I've been through the same thing. I think the best thing you can do is step back and let him go. Pleading or trying to convince him won't work. If you give him space and prove you're strong enough to get through this, he may have feelings of doubt about his decision and reconsider when he sees that you're retaining your dignity and personal power. Look your best and be your best. It's the only way to rekindle the feelings, if he has any. And if he doesn't see you as a desirable partner, then you'll have no choice but to move on, painful as it is. It takes time but you'll see that life goes on. Best of luck.
2006-11-14 03:38:48
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answer #5
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answered by Essmi d 2
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You should ask him if he would be willing to go to counseling. If he refuses he does not want to save the marriage and there is something else going on possibly an affair. If this is the case you should continue with the divorce and find someone that will treat you right.
2006-11-14 03:35:22
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answer #6
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answered by Venus 3
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Give him the divorce. If he is saying that's what he wants, then he has made up his mind. You might be able to convince him to stay, but why would you want to when he has already said that he doesn't love you anymore. Move on with your life. Chances are that he will come crawling back down the road somewhere, but I hope you are over him and happy by then.
2006-11-14 03:34:45
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answer #7
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answered by justcurious 3
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well that's a complicated situation and there's only so much you can do, if he doesn't want to deal with the marriage anymore. first i would suggest you make yourself more desirable to him (physical attraction), not knowing you personally it's hard to say however you may need too tune it up a notch or turn it down a notch.
you may need to be willing to try new things with him to rekindle the passion he once shared with you (romantic getaway), since he not talking (show him)
Good Luck Girl pull out all the stops for you man
i am not em plying there is anything wrong with you, however we all sometimes attract for the greener grass across the street
2006-11-14 03:59:26
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answer #8
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answered by Reenell W 1
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Well if he wants to get a divorce from you and not even talk about it...something else may be going on that you are not aware of. He may be seeing someone else. I would try talking to him again to find out why he doesn't want to talk or get some counseling. Tell him it's important to you to find out what's his problem. If he cares about you he will respond.
2006-11-14 03:36:27
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answer #9
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answered by The girl next door 5
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Not every person is willing to go to counseling. If he feels its over then you might not get a chance to try to work it out. Sadly divorce isn't always a bad thing, you can move on and live a happy life without him.
2006-11-14 03:34:32
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answer #10
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answered by WENDY G 6
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