ohh my gosh somebody help me this is rediculous?

Question

okay i'm 20 i live on my own w/ my girlfriend of over 2 years. my mom lives an hour away. so one evening me and the old lady finished dinner and were enjoying a FEW rips off the"water tobacco pipe". i hear a knock at the door. usually an unexpected knock means a neighbor is coming over to "break bread" if you know what i mean. well i get to the door and it's my MOM(square) and little sister(my little sis is the apple of my eye i'm way protective about her because i'm the older bro who was the problem child but always tried to be a good example for her). so i stashed everything and let moms and the sis in. tried to pull off sober but didn't work. she was pissed and went off on me about living in sin with my g/f and and that i have a drug problem(i only smoke) and how i'm a bad example for my sis. but she lives an hour away and gave no warning as to her arrival. what was i supposed to do? who's wrong here? does anyone else's parents just show up? is there nowhere safe from her?whatnow?

they didn't see anything they just smelled it and saw me before the visine took effect. i'm not a drug addict i just enjoy a few rips in the evening after a long day. i pay for all of my own things. i do not borrow money or smoke in front of my sister or mother. i have kept my sis in the dark about that sort of thing from the beginning and will forever(well i was going to until then). my mother was just trying to catch me doing something. she's just lucky she got there when she did it could've been worse had me and the lady had more time to ourselves. i just wish that it had never happened and yes i will apologize to my mother and little sister and will tell my sister that what i was doing was wrong and all that. after all these years i know that my sister knows better than to do anything like that. she knows from my delinquency to do as i say not as i do. she's smarter and more outgoing than me and less rebelious than me as well.

Answer 1

I have nothing against smoking. You need to talk to your mom and let her know that you would appreciate it if she would let you know before she just drops in. What you do in your house is your business. Not hers. I mean I can see her side of it and she cares about you but you have lived on your own now for 2 years and you are an adult! She needs to accept that.

Answer 2

Of course it is not great, that your sister got to see you while you were stoned, but what could you have done. You had no choice, but to let them in. Maybe you should have told your mom that you and your girlfriend were in the middle of something kinky, and that they should come back in half an hour or so, that you at least could have eaten some sugar and have a shower which always helps to sober up.
First of all, your mom is naturally totally wrong, because she couldn't pass by without anouncing her visit. Nowadays everyone has a mobile phone and can easily ring through even if he or she is already on the road. She can't just drop by, that's quite rude, you wish to be prepaired when she comes;-)
Try to explain to your mom that you only smoke very rarely and it was only bad luck that she came that moment, "last time was ages ago!"

Answer 3

If you and your mum differ in opinion on drug use (and me and mine do) you don't need to worry too much about it... you're legally an adult.

Personally, I'm fine with being completely opposed in view to my parents, but only because I'm also completely self-sufficient (don't borrow money off them, never ask them for help). Apart from suiting me, this is the only way I can live without feeling like a total hypocrite.

If you are supported by your mum, I'd consider towing the line (at least in terms of saying you're sorry and that you'll mend your ways, and then being more cautious in the future).

Also, drug use seems to be a much bigger problem to parents if there are other things lacking in your life - a stable job, or you seeking education and being committed to it, whatever. Generally if everything else looks rosey, they'll pretty much forgive you in the long term.

Good luck.

Answer 4

sit down and have a man to woman talk with your moms. Let her know that you love, respect an appreciate her, but youy are know old enough to make and be accountable for your own choices. Oh, and politely ask her to give you a call before she drops by- if not then she just will have to see what she does'nt want to see. It's a good idea to stay away from the smokes and alchol though- i give her props for that one.

Answer 5

Well, I won't get into what you should or should not be doing in your own home. Your home, your rules, as long as you are paying for it. You are paying for it aren't you? Anyways, Mom should have called first. As to being a bad example to your sister, well, if she had called, you could have a chance to put your "best face" forward, instead of what she got a dose of. Not for nothing, I would ask Mom to call first from here on out or don't answer the door. I, myself, don't encourage ANYONE, to come to my house without warning, EVER! Anyone who shows up unannounced, is likely to stand outside till the cows come home. I make sure everyone knows it and I practice what I preach. If someone says, "oh if I'm out your way I'll stop by" I immediately say "Oh dear, please call first, so I can make sure to be home, listen for the doorbell, or not be in the middle of doing something else" If someone comes (it happens) I simply don't answer, they don't do it again. One time one said "oh but your car was there" I said maybe it was, but "I was out with my Mom shopping, if I would have known you were coming, I would have had her bring me home" and another one who said "I rang the doorbell, I saw your car" "Oh I was probably in the basement, if I would have known you were coming I would have been upstairs". So tell Mom you'd appreciate a call before she comes next time. PERIOD! Good luck!

Answer 6

How are you a bad example for your sister?

1. You are living with your girlfriend. That is showing her that she can shack up with a guy when she gets older.

2. You are a druggie. That is also a very bad example.

Your MOTHER now has EVERY RIGHT to PROTECT your sister FROM YOU! You may be twenty, but you are still very immature and delinquent in your substance use/abuse. A decent mother/father is honor bound to protect under aged children from such environments.

I'd say your mother's appearing act was a blessing in disguise for your sister. You are not a good influence for her and she should not visit with you unsupervised. Now that they know you are a druggie, don't be surprised if you don't see your sister untill you clean up your act. Hopefully your mother will lay down the law regarding your behavior.

Grow up kiddo!

Answer 7

Your mom should have called to see if it was okay at first. But might I suggest that next time you hear a knock at the door ask who it is first...so you can hide the stuff before letting her in. But on the other hand instead of doing that at your house try a friends house.

Answer 8

I don't smoke, but I did have the same problem with my parents coming over unannounced all the time. I ended up having to sit them down and explain that my life was mine to do with as I see fit and that although I appreciate their love and concern for me, I was more than able to look after myself. And that from that point forward they were to give me a courtesy call before popping in. So far, it's worked out for me.

And although your mom may have been upset with you, she still should have kept her opinion to herself. More people live with their girl/boyfriends rather than be married and she should catch up to the times. As for your smoking up, sure she'd be upset, she is afterall your mother, but again she shouldn't have gone off the deep end. My brother does the same thing, and it took my parents a long time to get off his back, but same with me my brother had to talk to them and make them understand that he was also an adult and could smoke if he so sees fit.

Thank god, for both my brother and I, my parents are a little more accepting of the two of us now and will respect our space. And also, they now call us before just showing up unannounced.

Answer 9

well, just because she lives an hour away and dropped in unexpectedely, it doesn't mean that you're magically absolved of being a drug user. Yes, she committed a social faux pas by dropping in unexpected, but two wrongs don't make a right. And if you feel like it's wrong to do in front of your mother, then maybe that means it's just wrong to do, period.

Answer 10

ha i bear in mind those days my acquaintances and that i placed a sticky word on my crushes automobile to grant me a decision if he grew to become into interested in me..... i left my quantity.... in any case ok so i did no longer get a decision....even though it grew to become into loopy with the aid of fact we ended up hooking up.... so he did like me inspite of each and every thing, yet grew to become out my paper blew off his automobile! err! lol yet whats up choose for it! if he says confident amazing! if he says no.. properly whats up there are different men available!