Three weeks ago I started communicating with a woman who read an online profile of mine and decided that I was just the kind of woman she'd been searching for. We are both in our forties, formerly married to men, and have children living at home. We are also both Christians and very family oriented. I was just as taken with her from the start as she was with me. But here's the thing: She pretty much decided after talking to me for hours over a period of three days that she wanted to settle down with me and make a commitment. She immediately began talking about details of ceremonies, where we might live, houses, the kids, trips she wanted to take with me, rings she wanted to buy me, etc. It was flattering, but overwhelming. She is really serious, and says she doesn't believe in "long courtships." And, yet, she hasn't even told me once that she's in love with me. When I mentioned that, she said, "I love your spirit, and that's even more important." Is this just the Taurus in her?
2006-11-14 02:48:35 · 8 answers · asked by joe friday's grrl 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I should add that we have met, and are both very physically attracted to one another. I am very much on the same road that she's on, but she's just running way ahead of me!
2006-11-14 02:49:49 · update #1
I would try and get from her why she is stacked against a long courtship. I think you're right, it's to much too fast. And with the kids--you know what I mean. Gotta be careful a bit out there. She alone cannot set the pace.
There is something really insecure and fragile about a person that wants to move in this fast. But what's troubling is that she has not outright said she is in love with you and I gotta tell you loving someone's spirit is not enough to get you that far down the road.
Good luck to you. It sounds like you really care.
2006-11-14 02:58:59 · answer #1 · answered by donewiththismess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you both are for starting a relationship but i will tell you you both need to slow down just a little and make sure it get started right instead of just jumping in. If you both take things slow at first it might help with the kid's also.As long as yous are happy and agree on the same thing then I would say go for it. You both should be happy and enjoy life. Good luck too the two of you's.
2006-11-14 14:27:52 · answer #2 · answered by ladyjamie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do a LOT of thinking and soul searching. Have you made up your mind that you ARE going to be a lesbian or is that something you MAY switch to????
Who IS this person......whats in it for her? What does she want from you? Is she sane? A controller? A criminal? A rip off artist? What is HER background? WHY does she want to get things going RIGHT NOW? Is she stable? Does she have assets or is she a complete loser? Do YOU have assets that she IS probably interested in? Is she a lesbian and just wants another notch on HER bed post??? What will she do when you tell her that three weeks is not enough and perhaps it may take, say, a least a year or more to get to know her???
Three weeks isn't a "drop in a bucket" when it comes to getting to KNOW a person. She can't tell you she "loves" you because she doesn't. You can't tell her you "love" her because you don't.
Get your head screwed on straight and go SLOWLY!!! This person is after something other than just you. My advice to you is to SLOW DOWN and TAKE CONTROL!!! It sounds, to me, like she is in total control and is coming on so strong that you are "wimping" out. Don't let this person stampede you into making a VERY large mistake!! Good luck. Pops
2006-11-14 11:13:42 · answer #3 · answered by Pops 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow... that's a pretty fast decision. there's a joke about what lesbians do on a second date and i think you probably heard about that (the answer is rent a u-haul). well, i'm in a relationship (long distance) for 5 years now and it's still going. i've met her back in 2000 and fell in love with her at the first sight. we've been talking on the phone ever since and we got together a year later (over the phone). it sounds weird indeed, since most people don't believe in a long distance relationship. we met again when she came to visit 2 yrs ago. we have never talked about settling down, although i've mentioned that in our conversations. i'm 34 (leo) and she's 40 (aries), and i think it's time for us to settle down but she's not ready (she's closeted). i'd rather take time than to rush things up. so i guess it's better if you discuss the matter again with her and see how things are going.
2006-11-14 19:25:21 · answer #4 · answered by alex 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is willing to make anything work. She is probably lonely and just wants something to work for her. I would take it slow. If she doesn't like that then move on. This is your life too. Women like to give ultimatums so be ready for one.
2006-11-14 10:56:54 · answer #5 · answered by jewelee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my darling, all u have to do is show her this question u worded it so beutifully and understanding that if she seen it she would know exactly what page your on...good luck dear
2006-11-14 12:19:11 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummmm...if u think she is good woman then go ahead..dun lose a gud frind
2006-11-14 10:54:41 · answer #7 · answered by karabiner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its just too much, too fast---better tell her faster.
2006-11-14 11:40:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋