Does this make me a bad friend?

Question

I recently met up with a friend who has just started at uni and we had a great day together until she took me back to the halls where she is staying. I confess I felt jealous of her new life and jealous of all those people who get to see her everyday as she is probably one of the most wonderful people I have ever known. I inwardly became more bitter and when she was walking me back to the station I made a comment, nothing too hurtful but it would probably have made her aware of my feelings. We havn't spoken of this though. I know that I shouldn't have behaved in this way and I do feel ashamed. Does this make me a bad friend?

Answer 1

There's nothing wrong with being envious of a friend's life unless you let that envy come between you. My friends all go out clubbing whilst I'm at home looking after my children, at first I was jealous but I realised that I have it good aswell.

You need to think of the good things in your life, if you can't think of any then you need to do something about that. Explain to your friend how you're feeling, she will probably be flattered that you think she has a great life & also tell her you were stupid for saying what you did (which, by the way, I'd love to know what it was you said).

If I've learned anything in my so far short life it's that you are who you are & you have what you have, it's as simple as that unless you do something about it so being jealous will get you nowhere.

Answer to your question, no, you're not a bad friend & I'm sure your friend knows that aswell otherwise she would have bought this up with you.

Answer 2

Jealousy is a normal human emotion. You should apologize for your actions when you went to visit your friend. She was probably excited about everything that has happened to her and having you see what she is doing. Your comment did probably hurt her and you should apologize and explain the reasoning for it. It doesn't make you a bad friend as long as you correct what you have done. Try not to be jealous, she's your friend you should be happy for her. If you're jealous of her position and want to be in a similar one then figure out what you need to do to get there.

Answer 3

No. It doesn't make you a bad friend. But I would call her and apologize and tell her how you feel about her new life and everything. It's best to have these things out in the open rather than making snide comments. Those are your feelings and you are entitled to them. It's very normal to feel jealous of someone else starting a new life. Maybe you should consider going to university as well. It sounds like it's something you want to do!

Answer 4

Friends are supposed to be honest with one another and that doesn't mean there is never any jealousy or bitterness. As with any relationship, it has its ups and downs.

I don't think you are a bad friend but I do think you owe your friend an explanation as to why you felt and behaved that way. Get your feelings out in the open so this does not come between the two of you in the future.

Good luck!

Answer 5

It doesn't make you a bad friend - it makes you human. And the fact that this is still so on your mind means you care and you know it was a mistake. Talk to your friend - and even if you don't relate to the 'comment' specifically - just let the conversation tell her you think a great deal of her and that in time you'll be close again - good luck.

Answer 6

Are you attracted to her? You don't state this, but there is a whiff of it in the air. Either way, if you are genuinely sorry, then either apologise, or arrange to meet again and make it clear from your behaviour that you are sorry. Having pangs of jealousy is not abnormal, but maybe you need to think about why you felt that way, and how you can overcome those feelings so it doesnt affect the friendship.

Answer 7

Ring her an apologise for having a touch of green eyed monster.

If you stay friends, you can visit for weekends and get to see what uni life is really like. The ups and downs.

The grass isnt always greener!

Answer 8

at the beginning that's not something you should be doing besides and whilst the law enforcement officers are stated as somebody is going to talk and of course you had the knife you made the choice to pull out the knife you will get blame isn't your buddy that have been given you in worry is the knife, you shouldn't carry a knife and in no way pull out a knife on all people or you will get in worry, that's a extreme depend, no person is going to stick out for you once you do something incorrect, they don't look to be your buddy in the event that they stress you into casting off the knife and then letting you're taking the blame, this in basic terms ability that what you probably did grew to become into incorrect and specially circumstances putting out with those form of buddy will in basic terms get you in worry, my appropriate propose is get better buddies, ones who does not stress you into doing something incorrect, whilst someones help you do something incorrect they don't look to be your individuals. Be clever % your individuals properly.

Answer 9

it would make you a bad friend if you don't tell her why you made the comment....you should explain to her why you are hurting and let her know that you miss her...i am sure that she will understand and not be mad....but if you don't say anything about it then she might think you meant something else and you could be risking losing a very good friend!!!!

Call her and explain why you said what you did before it is too late!!!!

Answer 10

im afraid it does. Although this in itself is not too bad, but it cud be a begining for worst thots and actions. After all u've taken a step already in that direction. BUT HEY, the good news is...it is completely reversible. If the two of you are good friends, just speak it out and im sure your friend will understand it and appreciate it.