We stopped talking and lost touch it's been 8 years since we've seen or talked to each other. He recently found me online and contacted me and wants to start our friendship up again. He knows that I am married and just wants to catch up on what we've missed out on with each other. I want to see him but my husband doesn't want me too. What should I do?
2006-11-14 01:53:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is not so much a direct response to your question as it is to a few of the responses from other people, above me. For the sake of discussion, let's say your husband is insecure. It seems to me that if someone cares about a spouse's feelings, that caring means respecting those feelings, not ignoring them. If my wife said she was uncomfortable with me meeting up with an old female friend from high school, I would honor her feelings, because my wife is the most important woman in my world, and I can stand a little bit of self-denial (not getting to see my friend) if it keeps my wife feeling secure and happy with me. So, in answer to your question, I think that what you should do is a combination of some things you have heard. First, tell your husband what I just said, that his feeling are more important to you than anything else. Second, ask him if a compromise can be reached -- maybe he could come along for the meeting, for example. Third, however, if he's adamant, just accept that, if you haven't even had any contact with someone in 8 years, not getting to see him now can't really be that great a loss.
2006-11-14 02:15:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, is your friend married or in a relationship? If not, your husband probably thinks your friend had feelings for you back in high school, and might feel the same now if he sees you again (I can't blame him for thinking this, as I had several guy friends in high school, and all of them had crushes on me at some point!). Why don't you ask your husband to come with you to meet your friend? While it could be a little awkward at first, it would probably help put your hubby at ease with the situation. And if your friend does have a significant other, perhaps you could all go on a double date. At any rate, if your friend's intentions are honorable, he shouldn't have any problems having your husband present.
2006-11-14 02:11:47 · answer #2 · answered by chickadee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why does your husband not want you to see him ? Is he jealous or is he just trying to control you? I would sit my husband down and talk about it . It sounds like your husband has some trust issues that need to be worked out . If your husband still does not want you to go then explain to the best friend . I am sure he will understand and if he does not then he was not much of a friend to begin with. good luck and god bless and happy thanksgiving.
2006-11-14 01:58:11 · answer #3 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No concerns, i'd be a freshman next three hundred and sixty 5 days and that i'm boyfriendless! i think the very similar way as you do. yet i recognize in some aspect in time i'd have a boyfriend. And even as the time comes round it really is tremendous. solid success next three hundred and sixty 5 days in severe college!
2016-11-29 03:21:59 · answer #4 · answered by boshell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if your husband doesn't want you to see him, then at least respect his wishes. Why put your marriage in jeopardy to see someone you haven't seen or spoken to in 8 years. Your best friend is NOW also your husband.
2006-11-14 01:55:56 · answer #5 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The only reason I can think is this somehow threatens your husband. To lessen that make sure he is involved in this meeting. Once he meets the guy and is comfortable about the relationship between you two he will probably be ok with it.
2006-11-14 01:57:49 · answer #6 · answered by SKYDOGSLIM 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It was good that you were honest with your husband about the contact you've already made, but you need to respect your husband's wishes about future contact. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?
2006-11-14 01:55:21 · answer #7 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Do not pursue this any further unless you want to end up divorced. Its good you were honest with your husband, but now be honest with yourself.
Infatuation will lead to emotional cheating which will in all likelihood lead to a full blown affair.
2006-11-14 01:57:56 · answer #8 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well i don't see anything wrong with it ....why don't you ask your husband to be part of it so he knows who this man is ....you are his wife maybe he is just looking out for you ... or he could be a little jealous but that's where you have to tell him you are in love with him and the love of your life and this other guy is just a friend and ask him to come and meet him with you
2006-11-14 02:15:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
this was your BEST friend in high school, do you have male friends now?... your husband sounds insecure...
there is no reason you shouldn't be able to catch up and be friends with this person.
2006-11-14 02:04:20 · answer #10 · answered by Dena 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋