Why am i attracted to women that have problems?

Question

I seem to be attracted to women with problems, ie bipolar or past issues with parents breaking up. Am i bound for a life of misery?

Answer 1

Maybe you want to be their rescuer, make them all better.

Answer 2

Maybe you were sent to help women! God Bless you! lol kidding. Sounds like you may have a insecurity inside and are attracted to the "less then perfect" girl. Why would you think you are "bound for a life of misery" everyone has problems, everyone has a past, what makes a relationship great is being able to over come those issues and supporting eachother, making a relationship stronger.

Answer 3

In life there are different types of people mostly divided between givers and takers. You are obviously a giver. You have a need to provide comfort and advice and you get something from this. Unfortunately there are a lot of negatives with this. The only thing you can do is recognize this about your personality and try to build a relationship that can be mutually supportive.

Answer 4

You likely have a nuturing personality, and have the ability to draw people to you because they sense you are compassionate. You may set yourself up for unhappiness if you continually involve yourself with people with "issues" but in the long run I'm sure you'll be happy because you can have the best of both worlds- you can help people move on with their lives and develop some great relationships.

Answer 5

Maybe you go for these women cause they seem to need you a lot more then someone who is normal!

Good luck with that

P.s. i don't think you will alone forever you are just going to have to put up with a lot of Mrs wrongs before you get a Mrs right!

Answer 6

You probably had parents who gave you the need to help those women with problems, maybe as a child you sensed your mother's need for help and are still trying to help her.

Answer 7

You want to be the hero. If it is misery for you to be in such a relationship, it is hard to change but everyone can change this about themselves.....

Answer 8

Empress is correct. Its called co-dependency. No its not a disease lol but you and a million other people have it. Its the need to think we can make someone better or change their bad habits, flaws, etc......Its not a bad trait but a self destructive one.
Your would be much more at peace if you rectified this. HOWEVER CO DEPENDENTS DO NOT ALWAYS FIT EVERY CATEGORY AND IT DOESNT ALWAYS MEAN THAT THE ONES THEY ARE CO DEPENDENT ON ARE DRUG OR ALCOHOL ADDICTED. There are alot of good people who are codependents.



Co-dependents have low self-esteem and look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better. They find it hard to “be themselves.” Some try to feel better through alcohol, drugs or nicotine – and become addicted. Others may develop compulsive behaviors like workaholism, gambling, or indiscriminate sexual activity.

They have good intentions. They try to take care of a person who is experiencing difficulty, but the care taking becomes compulsive and defeating. Co-dependents often take on a martyr’s role and become “benefactors” to an individual in need. A wife may cover for her alcoholic husband; a mother may make excuses for a truant child; or a father may “pull some strings” to keep his child from suffering the consequences of delinquent behavior.

The problem is that these repeated rescue attempts allow the needy individual to continue on a destructive course and to become even more dependent on the unhealthy care taking of the “benefactor.” As this reliance increases, the co-dependent develops a sense of reward and satisfaction from “being needed.” When the care taking becomes compulsive, the co-dependent feels choiceless and helpless in the relationship, but is unable to break away from the cycle of behavior that causes it. Co-dependents view themselves as victims and are attracted to that some weakness in the love and friendship relationships.

Characteristics of Co-Dependent People Are:

An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others.
A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue.
A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time.
A tendency to become hurt when people don’t’ recognize their efforts.
An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment.
An extreme need for approval and recognition.
A sense of guilt when asserting themselves.
A compelling need to control others.
Lack of trust in self and/or others.
Fear of being abandoned or alone.
Difficulty identifying feelings
Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change.
Problems with intimacy/boundaries.
Chronic anger.
Lying/dishonesty.
Poor communication.
Difficulty making decisions.
Questionnaire to Identify Signs of Co-Dependency

This condition appears to run in different degrees, whereby the intensity of symptoms is on a spectrum of severity, as opposed to an all or nothing scale. Please note that only a qualified professional can make a diagnosis of co-dependency; not everyone experiencing these symptoms suffers from co-dependency.

1. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?
2. Are you always worried about others’ opinions of you?
3. Have you ever lived with someone with an alcohol or drug problem?
4. Have you ever lived with someone who hits or belittles you?
5. Are the opinions of others more important than your own?
6. Do you have difficulty adjusting to changes at work or home?
7. Do you feel rejected when significant others spend time with friends?
8. Do you doubt your ability to be who you want to be?
9. Are you uncomfortable expressing your true feelings to others?
10. Have you ever felt inadequate?
11. Do you feel like a “bad person” when you make a mistake?
12. Do you have difficulty taking compliments or gifts?
13. Do you feel humiliation when your child or spouse makes a mistake?
14. Do you think people in your life would go downhill without your constant efforts?
15. Do you frequently wish someone could help you get things done?
16. Do you have difficulty talking to people in authority, such as the police or your boss?
17. Are you confused about who you are or where you are going with your life?
18. Do you have trouble saying “no” when asked for help?
19. Do you have trouble asking for help?
20. Do you have so many things going at once that you can’t do justice to any of them?

Answer 9

They all have problems. sorry but the human condition requires it.

Answer 10

probably, but its not your fault there are way too many of us with issues