In-Laws Having Marital Problems?

Question

My mother in law has been staying out late, hanging out with her gay boss, wants breast implants and a tattoo and told my father in law that he is not letting her be young. My father in law is the greatest husband to her that any woman could ask for. She won't talk to my husband about this and she won't say where she goes at night. Do you think she's having an affair? They have been married 23 years.

This is all great advice and I agree....I am staying out of it but of course I know everything because my husband tells me. His father is actually coming to him for advice. He does not want his marriage to end but it is just becoming clear that she wants something different. She will NOT go to marriage counseling, she thinks she has no problem. She just wants to "be able to do her own thing" as she puts it. Should he just file for divorce?

Answer 1

sounds like midlife crisis for a woman. the father in law needs to talk to her, tell her how it makes him feel and possibly if there is anything he can do. also marriage counseling might help. a good book to read is "5 love languages" by dr. chapman....its a great book and helped many marriages

Answer 2

Sweetie ... some things can't be fixed. You can't change the fact that you didn't tell her family. That was a H U G E mistake - like, it was a mistake the size of Texas, but you did it and now you have to live with the consequences (hostile behavior from her dad, etc.) YOU created that, because you disrespected them. He seems like a jerk because that's what YOU were, for not telling him that you were marrying his daughter before you did it. "My wife also is mean to me, she says mean things and says bad things about my family ..." and you put up with it because ___________________________ ? I have two words for the fact that you love her: SO WHAT! Big deal that you love her ... like it's doing you any good right now. Your love isn't making her family respect you, and it's not making her respect your family. Your marriage has zero chance of success. None. Zip. Zilch. Nada. You're having doubts - she's having doubts, and YOU SHOULD BE! YES it was a mistake! If you don't have any property together, or any assets since you've been married or any children ... just get an annulment. That way, she leaves with what she came with, you leave with what you came with, and life goes on. Like 'oops ... my bad ...' and you WALK AWAY. Some things can't be fixed. This isn't fixable. You should walk away. TOMORROW.

Answer 3

Who can say about an affair, but obviously something is very wrong. She seems to be going through a mid-life crisis, but to put her marriage in jeopardy, she must be very unhappy at home. You may think her husband is the greatest, but he isn't fulfilling her needs. He needs to sit down and have a talk with her. He needs to tell her that she's not old and neither is he. He needs to plan for a nice trip to the Caribbean or a cruise that would excite her! He needs to offer to take dance lessons with her, or take up golf with her or tennis. She is regretting getting older and feeling in a "slump".. He needs to help her feel alive and not just a "home-body" housewife. She doesn't want to share her unhappiness with her son. She doesn't want him to feel in any way responsible or in the middle when she finally leaves her husband...which she may be planning to do when she gets up the nerve. Only your father-in-law can do anything here. They need marriage counseling and he needs to liven up their life together. (He also should see if maybe she's doing any drugs or drinking; that could be clouding her rational thinking, too. If so, she needs medical help.)

Answer 4

It could possibly be, why hide where she is going, why desire to go out so much. What does your father in law think about the situation. In reality, you shouldnt' get involved if he's ok with the matter let it be. Now if your husband or the son wants to make a few comments to his mama about her party attitude then okay, but don't get into it yourself!!!

Answer 5

Not enough information to hazard a guess on mother in law behavior. However, this problem between your In-laws is not something you should get involved in. If you involve your self and the marriage breaks up, one of them is gonna have a grudge against you. Stay neutral and stay out of it.

Answer 6

This really isn't any of your business. Would you want them to do the same
to you. It sounds to me like the mother in law is on a self destruct road.
The best you can do is let her go. Be there for the Father in law, if he needs
you. Otherwise, you can just sit back and watch it all unfold. There is
nothing you can do.

Answer 7

It doesn't sound good. Sounds like she's trying to relive her youth...maybe it's a midlife crisis. Someone should try to talk to her about it whether she wants to or not. She may end up getting herself in a situation she can't get out of. Maybe her son could tell her he's worried about her and her safety. Her son may be the one to get through to her.

Answer 8

I can't say for sure if she is having an affair or not but if there is probs in the marriage of your inlaws its better for you as the daughter in law to let them sort it out for themself I know its hard but its the best advice I can give you.

Answer 9

If I were the father in law, I'd be running! She's hanging out with a gay man? Wants implants and a tattoo?

Menopause, schmenopause, she's lost it and could be engaged in unsafe sex with a homosexual. If that's his lifestyle OK, but not with my wife!

He can have her, fake breasts and tattoo's to boot.

Answer 10

May not be having an affair. Just want to be herself. May be your father-in-law has stopped taking her out. You may need to talk to her woman-to-woman. May be something is bothering her. Good luck.