What do you seek in a friend yet neither expect nor want in a lover?

Question

This most recent question stems from this question that I have asked in the past- http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkVbzqG67EzIK7SdWP0js8cjzKIX?qid=1006011901569

"Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your dinner guest?
Whom would you want as your lover? Whom would you want as your close friend?"

My current question is also related to another question that I asked just recently-
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApiVHVhhL2b3lEK_rLZx1h3sy6IX?qid=20061028094211AAhj12I
Are you attracted to people that are healthy for you to be around?

Please answer all 3 questions

Answer 1

I value friends that I can spend long long long times apart from and yet when we get back together it is as if we parted only yesterday. Once I went to a high school reunion and in many ways it was as if my crazy friends and I were 18 again. It was fun to see them again and relive a little of my misspent youth with the advantage of seeing it from an older and hopefully wiser perspective. I do not expect nor want to spend years parted from my lover. If we were forced to be apart that long, I would not want our relationship to be frozen in time as was my relationships with my high school chums I had not seen in a decade. If my lover and I were parted for that long it would be too painful and unnatural to immediately try to relive the "glory days" of our long past relationship. Rather I would prefer that we would come together again with an understanding that we had both grown and changed and a gentle time of rediscovery to truly get to know the new person she had become and to share who I had become.

Whom would I want as a dinner guest?
A great cook, preferably of Italian cuisine. It wouldn't hurt if she were very dazzling conversationalist. I wouldn't mind if she were easy on the eyes. It wouldn't bother me if she had an appetite like a bird so there would be more for me!

Whom would I want as my lover?
My wife. We have been together for many years. She is the mother of our children. She is the keeper of my soul. I have no desire nor need to touch another. However, I am a red blooded straight male, so of course I do find other women attractive, but to actually consider taking them as a lover is out of the question. I realize for me, my wife being my lover is not merely a physical act. It is part of the very fabric my life is woven from. To risk all that is my daily reality for the short lived physical pleasure of a new conquest would go against every shred of wisdom I have gained from my years of life.

Whom would I want as my close friend?
Someone who has a close relationship with God. I am not perfect, so if we are to remain friends for a lifetime, they will need to be forgiving and loving. The other advantage to having friends who have a real relationship with God is that the friends don't tend to make unhealthy demands of the relationship because they are being fulfilled through a spiritual relationship that no human relationship can fill.

Answer 2

I expect my lover to BE my friend. So I can't answer your question. I don't treat anyone different. If you are my friend, I have no expectations. You are who you are.

My dinner guest would have to be... hmm.. they have to be living at the moment, right? Most of my heros are dead. I guess Patrick Roy. Maybe Derek Jeter. Maya Angelou would be a GREAT one! I dunno. This is a tough one. Who do I want as a lover? My boyfriend, Jason. Same goes for close friend.

And that last question that I never did get around to answering... I am attracted to all people. I have healthy people and not so healthy people that I should or should not hang out with for my sanity. I seem to be more attracted to those that will drive me insane, but there's a nice balance.

Answer 3

To be honest, there is nothing I would expect from a friend that I wouldn't expect or want from a lover, all the qualities I look for in a friend i also want in a lover. - except certain genetailia, i'm pretty specific with that in a lover (although its not really something i explicitly seek in a friend)

hmm.. interesting question though.
cheers