as a parent, brother or sister....what do you think?

Question

What is your opinion on this.
There is a person who is 18 and is friends with a 36 year old. They are both same gender female. Meet through work, only working together for a couple of months and became friends. their working relationship was it was the 18 year old boss. They started meeting up and going for lunch, going out for drinks etc... Talking late to each other on the phone etc...about nothing much just catching up with whats going on in each other lives. When someone asked what they were talking about they both would say nothing really. Both Families dont understand what and why they meet up.

What i would like to know is how would you as either a parent, brother or sister etc... think about this?
If you dont answer as one of the above do you think it is (right or wrong) maybe not best words to use. what do you think?

Any opinions welcome as long as its honest please?

Answer 1

Am I missing something? Seems to me that they've just struck up a friendship. Obviously,they have something in common and just enjoy each other's company. Nothing to be concerned about there.

Answer 2

I tried to look at this from the perspective of a parent if my child was the 18 year old. Regardless of whether they are of the same sex or not, there is a very big age difference and I would be a bit concerned on the one hand and not on another. What could a 36 year old possibly have in common with someone half their age that they would be constantly contacting one another? You could perhaps see that they might get on and be friendly as they work together and they might go out together on occasion but to be constantly in contact? On the other hand, the 36 year old may be quite youthful and the 18 year very mature for their age, in which case, what's the problem?

Is it the age difference between them that is the problem for the families or the thought that they may be in a relationship with each other? Plenty of relationships with large age differences go the distance and keeping the communication lines open so that both are aware that no one is judging them for their decisions is probably the best way forward.

Sometimes we meet people who for some reason just click. If asked, we can't really say why we get on so well with that person, we just do. It's probably the same in this instance. At 18, she is old enough to make her own decisions about who she wants to be friends with at the end of the day.

Answer 3

It is a tough call. It could be the older woman is trying to "get in good " with the boss and is kissing up. It could be that they have and attraction to each other in a physical way. Or they may have just hit it off as buddies. When I was young, most of my friends were 5 to 10 years older...I know this is more, but just making a point. As a sister, I would just keep an eye on the 18 year old and tell her if it is more than friends, the other woman is too old. As a parent, I would really push to find out just what a 36 year old wants hanging out with an 18 year old. I would worry that the 18 year old was being manipulated in the work relationship or dating someone too old for her. I don't have all the details, but it sounds like they are dating.

Answer 4

I don't see anything wrong with it. Maybe the 36 year old is just mentoring the 18 year old and what is wrong with being friends with someone who is older than you. One of my best friends is 10 years older than me and she is like a big sister to me. I am the oldest in my family so I am glad to have someone who is like an older sister, sometimes I need a shoulder to lean on or a voice of reason and she is there. I am also friends with my neighbor who is actually old enough to be my mother. We go out to lunch at least once a month. We talk on the phone and we look out for each other ( i.e If my children forget their key when they come home they know that it is safe to go to my neighbors house and she takes care of them as if they were her own and I run errands for her when she isn't able to or if I am going in the direction that she would need to go). There is nothing wrong with them becoming friends. I think only some one with a warped mind would think there is more to it than it is.

Answer 5

I don't see a problem here. The youngest is 18, friends with a woman aged 36 so an 18yr age gap. If my son or daughters were in the same situation aged 18 I'd let them get on with it, she is of course 18 so free to do as she pleases. If her parents are concerned why doesn't she invite the friend round for tea or something? Although they aren't 6 so maybe it'd be better to invite her round for a drink, if she questions this it's easily explained that they are keen to meet her new friend!

Answer 6

i have this neighbor who is 17 and im 35,,,her sister hangs around with my son,,they are both 14. i got the 17 yr old a job at where i work for the summer while she was out of school....to me its more like im a mom figure to her,,even though she has a great relationship with her mom. Me and this girl get along great. I dont see anything wrong with talking or doing store things together once in awhile. But if its all they consumed with is being together all the time im not treally sure whats going on there....They might just really get along great as friends and i dont see anything wrong with it. but if you are all worried about it then you should look into a little more.,,,,it might really be harmless.

Answer 7

It's the age difference that upsets people. A 36 year old usually doesn't have anything in common with an 18 year old, so people will begin to question the motives there and maybe even what the 36 y.o. is up too. Maybe the 18 y.o. should also question this...

Answer 8

Well I suppose you could look at this from many different angles. I could be just a friendship, the 18 year old wanting motherly or older sister advise from someone that wont be judgemental. I have had younger friends that I have talked with at all hours of the night.... but then again I have always tended to have younger friends. I look several years younger than I am so I always fit in better with a younger crowd.
I really wouldn't read to much into it. If they both have lead pretty normal "straight" lives.

Answer 9

As a parent, sister and grown up!
I have lots of friends some younger than me some older than me, some male some female. No one, not even my husband, tells me who to be friendly with. I often meet my friends through work, or workmates. Not sure what you think the problem is. I often chat with mates about nothing or subjects more personal that I choose discuss with mates and not other people.

Answer 10

Hi..Sounds to me like the 18 yr old is looking for someone to look up to.Sometimes mothers and daughters aren't so close but at the same time the daughter needs a female to look up to and learn from. As for the 36 year old,she seems to be in the I wanna help this kid mode and guide her in ways she herself wished she were.It also probably makes her feel needed and young to have a friend like her. I think the friendship is good for both of them.

Answer 11

I would start getting kind of worried. I mean as a sister I would try and find out what was going on. Usually sisters have one of the closest bonds. If she didn't tell me I'd tell her that she could talk to me anytime. BUt if she didn't tell me for a few weeks or still didn't get back with me. I would get really worried because it means that it's such a big deal or a big secret that she doesn't even want to share it with her sister. If you were a mom though you should get involved and get her to talk to you since you have more authority. <3