Why are women so judgemental about how another woman gives birth?

Question

My bf has opted for a c-section and a mutual friend or former friend has decided to stop talking to her because of it. She feels that it's the lazy way out because she has given natural birth to all of her children. I told her that was her choice and to mind her own business about the way my bf decides she wants to give birth because she is not the one having the baby. Now my bf is all upset and crying, I told her not to get upset but the woman really hurt her. This is her first child. So once again what does it matter to another woman how one woman gives birth? I say do what's right for you and let other women do what's right for them.

I know all the circumstances, I go with my bf to every Dr.'s appt. and she has the ob/gyn in the area. She is totally taken care of

Answer 1

it doesn't really matter what other people say. being pregnant is so hard on a person. your da**ed hormones make u so emotional and more sensitive to other peoples harsh statements. there is more battles to come.
your friend will get criticized for the name she picked. some people will react by saying "that is an ugly name" and everyone close to her will feel the need and right to comment on the name and suggest other names.
she will get criticized for breastfeeding and not breastfeeding. people will tell her she didn't breastfeed long enough. they will tell her breastmilk is best and then talk junk when she breastfeeds in public. people will tell her that she is a bad mother for giving her formula.

basically u just can't win. your friend needs to stand her ground and be more confident because there will be tons of issues coming. she should be glad that her former friend ditched her because she does not need anyone in her life right now who is criticizing her role as a mother.

Answer 2

The reason some women get upset about women choosing to have c-sections without a medical reason is that ob/gyns have been pushing elective c-sections recently for their own convenience and convincing mothers it's a good idea. It's good for the doctor because they can scheduled c-sections and not worry about delivering babies at all hours of the day or night.

Concerns have been raised in recent years that Cesarean section is frequently performed for reasons other than medical necessity. Critics worry that cesareans are performed because they are profitable for the hospital, or because a quick Cesarean is more convenient for an obstetrician than a lengthy vaginal birth. Another contributing factor may be fear of medical malpractice lawsuits.

While I would never say that choosing a c-section is lazy I don't think that it's right for doctors to push elective c-sections for their convenience and they have been doing that for years now. I am of the belief that the health and well-being of the mother and baby should be the only concerns considered when making that decision and vaginal delivery is the safer option most times.

Answer 3

I've never heard of women being judgemental in this regard. However, I don't think it's smart to plan a c-section, when you recover WAY quicker with a regular birth. I think your friend is cheating herself out of a nice experience, frankly. I had to have an emergency c-section (baby got in trouble during induced labour), and was not able to handle the baby for some time. A week got wasted in the hospital and then once home I couldn't do all I wanted. Next door to me in the hospital, women gave birth and went home the next day, none the worse for wear. I would not choose to have a c-section; perhaps your friend doesn;t have enough information.

Answer 4

I don't agree with a women making that choice. God made women to have natural birth. And if there is a problem I thank god to give us brains to have a c-section, but only if there is a problem. I can't believe that her doctor would let her choose that if it is not needed. I didn't have that choice with any of my. I keep gaining a good bit of weight with my pregnancy and they were so worried that, more weight gain runs to more c-sections. What I am saying is they don't want to give c-sections unless had to because of the risks and recovery is so much slower.

Also, this women has never been in labor before, so why does she want a c-section? I could see if she experienced and then said. I think she should let her body do it natural and be glad that she can. I know some women that didn't get that chance and wish they could. Also, If she is in labor and is having just to much pain to bare than she could get an epidural. Thats much better than a c-section. Good luck and hope she makes the best choice for her and tell her to really think about it because once she has an c-section, you can't go back on that.

Answer 5

There are many ignorant people in the world. People get it into their head that "it's their way or no way." What people don't understand is not everyone wants to do things their way.

To the ignorant person who said that having a section is stupid and babies are 3x more likely to die...please educate yourself before posting such nonsense. We all know that c-sections are major surgery and with surgery there may be complications. We are now living in the year 2006 and risks for sections are dramatically decreased. As for pain, yes, it does hurt but I was never immobile for weeks at a time. That is just dumb. They will make you get up and move around in the hospital with in 24 hours of surgery. I was up and around with in 6 hours of surgery. I was released a day early after my section because the pain was bearable.

It is more important to be a good mother than worrying how the child is brought into this world. Tell your friend that.

Answer 6

It's woman's nature to judge and criticize and try to make themselves feel like they're better than other women (one of the reasons i choose not to have many female friends). I personally am planning to have a natural birth without an epidural, for my own benefit and the baby's, but different women make different choices for different reasons. There's a chick in the labor class that is wanting to be induced at 38 weeks and another one who wants a c-section so she won't have to endure labor...not necessary, but it's her choice, and in the long run, i'm sure she'll be just as good of a mother. People have different views...I'm sure someone will think I'm nuts for wanting to go natural. Your mutual friend is probably stuck on her high horse of thinking she's better than everyone because she did it naturally...she's not better just because she chose to endure the pain...she's just different. It's not how the baby comes into the world that matters, so long as he's healthy...it's the choices and the motive behind the choices. Some women are afraid of pain, and want it over quickly...personally, I don't blame them, but your mutual friend needs to learn how to make her own choices and realize that what was best for her and what she wanted isn't necessarily what's best for your friend and what your friend wants.

Answer 7

Who cares about what other people think? If carrying a baby, gaining weight, going through morning sickness etc. is not hard enough, your friend has every right to make giving birth as comfortable for herself as possible. The woman probably has some concerns because it is a fact that c-section takes longer to recover. However, it's none of her business, the same way you wouldn't force her to take a c-section if she wanted a normal birth.

Answer 8

i agree 100% it should be up to whomever is giving birth to hte child. it is not the lazy way out by any means. i had 2 c-sections one with each of my kids. after having them i would prefer to have them rather than giving birth, they say the best feeling in the world is giving birth, BS, i am a big baby when it comes to pain and i would HATE to have to go through that. i would rather go in and have an epidural and then just lay there, you know when your baby will be here none of this false labor crap no contractions no nothing. you tell your bf that if she wants to have a c-section then more power to her, and tell her not to stress about her other friend because if she were a trur friend then she would be there for her and not make her upset and support her on whatever decidions she makes!!! hope this helped, holly

Answer 9

Ewww. The thought of asking someone to gut me like a fish makes me sick. That being said, its her body. I'm surprised her doctor is letting her have a c-section if its not medically necessary. But if her doctor is ok with it, then ok. Tell your friend a c-section won't make her any less of a good parent. It will take longer to heal, so be careful. But if she feels like that is what's best for her, its cruel for that other woman to make her feel bad.

Answer 10

yes, everyone has the right to decide, even if you don't agree with it. I say this former friend was no real friend at all and she will feel bad about it and regret it later. Tell your friend not to cry over this...we don't want to put stress on the baby...and tell her that she has the right to do whatever she wants....if her dr is ok with it she shouldn't feel bad.