Our Goals/Dreams are not the same?

Question

I've been married 2 years. The problem is that my husband and I have separate goals in life. Well, I should say he has none, and I have goals/dreams. He seems content with life as it is and doesn't do anything to better himself or our marriage. Me, on the other hand, want more in life...want to move to another state (somewhere nice year-round), save money so we can go travel (we don't have kids), get a bigger house, have kids, etc. I'm 31 and don't want to waste my life on someone who won't ever see eye-to-eye with me, and before long i'll be getting too old to bear children. What should I do? And yes, I have told him how I feel. He doesn't seem to take me too serious.

We both work full time, make about the same $$. I have good credit, everything is in my name. he has bad credit and just neglects it. he comes home from work and plays video games, or internets. i'm left with housework, etc. i like exercise, walks, etc...he likes being lazy. i want someone who is a 'partner', not someone i feel i have to mother.

Answer 1

A house divided against itself cannot stand! Having said that, if he is pulling one way,and you are pulling the other, it won't last.The best thing to do is get out, and the sooner, the better. Don't waste those valuable years with a person that has no goals, or dreams. I did, and regret it every day of my life. Good Luck......ACCOMPLISH!

Answer 2

Well, married couples should always compromise on their differences, I mean if your husband has same dreams/goals as you, the marriage would be boring. Yes couples that marry should have stuff in common, but they also should have differences, having something in common is a good thing so you both can enjoy the stuff you like together, having differences isn't all that bad either, you can try to like what your partner likes, it's a new experience. So if your husband doesn't want to do what you're planning on, then ask him what he wants to do in the future, and work stuff out from there.

Answer 3

You sound reasonably intelligent, it surprises me that you didn't see the character traits of your husband while you were dating.

I hope that you didn't go into this relationship and marriage with the idea that you could change him after marriage.

I have to agree with most of the others, you need to move on if you ever want to accomplish your goals and realize your dreams. I don't think you married to young since you are 31, however, if you look back, you may realize you married for the wrong reasons.

Love is great, but teamwork with love is even better.

Answer 4

Seems to me that these things should have been discussed prior to marriage. I think this is more of a common problem though when people get married too young. I can see that this is not the case here. Not much you can do except try and talk with him about how you feel. I would not expect him to change anytime soon though. My best advice to you would be DO NOT have any children with him till you are sure you will be happy with him forever! It will not be fair to the kids latter on. Good Luck To You.

Answer 5

Sounds like its time for an ultimatum. Since a marriage is a serious thing, it seems fair to set one (especially since he doesn't take you seriously). Within a certain time (say 1 month)..he can decide whether he wants to move, save up, travel, etc...see eye to eye with you. My grandmother always told me never to use the word divorce in marriage unless it was going to happen, so until its going to happen...find an alternative way to hint at the consequence if he can't live up to the ultimatum...like he can either choose to live docily by himself, or he can choose a future with you.
Have it down in paper also...to serve as a constant reminder until the ultimatum is up.

A couple should move in the same direction together. But if one is drowning, he shouldn't pull the other one down with him. (I know...I'm so cruel. But you'r right: life is too short, and you ain't getting any younger)
best wishes

Answer 6

Well, goals and greed are too different things. Does he provide for you? Do you work outside the home? If not get a hobby or a job. Why move to another state for the sake of moving? Sounds like your already making plans that don't include him.

Answer 7

Well it seems like you might have to move on without him have a serious talk with him if he still doesn't know what he wants out of life then maybe your in the wrong marriage

Answer 8

This difference can "kill" the love in time ... I hope it won't be your case ... But I understand you perfectly ..... You will find yourself someday feeling that you haven't accomplished anything in life , that you haven't reach your goals .... what you want is perfectly normal , your dreams are mature ! This difference between you too will be always like that ..... So it's only you who can decide ..... Live your life ( you have only one ) , reach your dreams or keep this man and make his dreams yours ( if he has any ) ..... Good luck !

Answer 9

I am so sad when i learn abou divorce but in this case must be the best choice. i have many goals too and i can feel how you feel when you can manage them. just give him a second chance and make him to feel that he lost you.. I WISH YOU THE BEST!! ;-)

Answer 10

by making use of ' help ' do you recommend money clever? that may not cool. each and every husband could help their spouse or Fiance' with money or perhaps ethical help. i don't be attentive to what kilo meters measures out to be in united statesa. yet what does a distance could desire to do with it? no rely how some distance aside you reside from one yet another he desires to help assist you. I say "help" in view which you'll be able to desire to paintings and help with help in case you may paintings. talk over with him and tell him which you pick his help. If he's unwilling to help, then you certainly could could desire to think of roughly looking somebody who may assist you.