My boyfriend and l have fallen out after a drunken nightout,l don't think either of us can remember what happened but when we came home we had an arguement which resulted in him packing some things and went running home to his parents house,this has happened before but we always sort things out and he comes home to me.The thing is we have lived together for nearly 6 years and l have 2 children(12 year old twins) that are not his that miss him,he is the type of person that just needs to be left alone for a couple of weeks before he feels that he can talk to me but l can't handle the wait,l believe leaving things too long makes it harder,l'm in bits and am missing him so much!!! What should l do???
2006-11-13 23:57:57 · 27 answers · asked by Jacqui 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This has happened before. He sounds very immature. Turn and run over an argument. Honey, after living with him for 6, I do believe you love him, but the way he runs and stays gone for a couple of weeks at a time, that is not setting a very good example for your children as how to deal with relationship problems, and it is not good for you either. Maybe when and if he does come back you two should a very long talk and set some rules for the relationship.
You need to be strong, not just for you, but for those children. And maybe not drink to the point of getting drunk if that is when the problems start.
Best of luck.
2006-11-14 00:04:51 · answer #1 · answered by hummingbird 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Now, just know that I am not judging you in any way when I say this...I don't think that the both of you should get so drunk that you cannot remember what happened...but aside from that, he sounds like a big baby that likes to pout...he should think more about your feelings and those of your children...if you have lived together for 6 years, he should be over this type of behavior by now...Do you want to marry him or have plans to marry him? I am a firm believer that the children should be the first consideration in any decision...you should just talk to him, explain how you and the kids feel, and try to work on a resolution for handling arguments in a more positive adult way (him), instead of him running off to his parents...that is never going to solve anything, except to make you miserable...If he can't work with you, I am sure there is a more deserving "Man" out there that would appreciate you and your kids.
2006-11-14 00:09:34 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First of all, the argument was facilitated by you both being in a drunken stupor. What's with that! He ran home to mommy and daddy!!! I'd let him stay there. Sure you and your kids miss him. He's been there for 6 years. You are far too lenient with him. He needs to grow up. And you need to set your priorities. Sorry this answer is so tough. I wonder what your home life is really like with him being there. Sounds like you have three children instead of two.
2006-11-14 00:14:37 · answer #3 · answered by Blondie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well everyone has arguements from time to time, Why does he always feel the need to run away?
I agree a bit with Yak.
when he does come back, which sounds like he probably will; try not to drink so much that you both don't know whats going on.
Best of luck.
2006-11-14 00:07:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Both of you need this space away from eachother right now. You need to sit down by yourself and compose a letter to him talking about how long he stays away just to cool down. You need to tell him by not talking it isn't solving anything and tell him if he's been there for the kids you can see him leaving to cool off but he's gotta grow up when he does this he's not only hurting you he's hurting the kids as well and they don't have anything to do with it but it's like he's punishing them to and if it helps let the kids tell him how they feel about the way he does when he just get mad and leave. But you write that letter and tell him all the things you would like to say to him right now if he was in your face. Good Luck!
2006-11-14 00:12:36 · answer #5 · answered by 2sweet4u 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is just a man that needs to sort thing out in his head its a man thing and this is how he copes. were a women needs to talk her problems out a man can't do it. He will come back, then talk. I found this out with my Husband by reading a book called Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus It gives a great in site on how male and female minds work. try it. It helped me understand my other half. good luck.
2006-11-14 02:55:57 · answer #6 · answered by lady_di_ar125 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have known him for long so you know him inside out. If you can't wait, then take a stand and apologise if you want to be together. Guys need their space and will withdraw for a while and take time to think things through. As tough as it sounds, give him some time if you love him truly. Good Luck !!
2006-11-14 00:07:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call and ask him to meet you somewhere neutral. Talk things out. Don't write him a letter cause guys hate that. There has to be something that you all can compromise on. If you have to...stop drinking. It seems like that may be a part of the problem.
2006-11-14 00:11:30 · answer #8 · answered by Donna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, ring him or send him a letter tell him how much you and the kids miss and need him, say you are sorry even if you have no need to be and you would love it if he come round for a chat and a drink just to talk....if he agrees then at least you will know one way or the other rather than living your life in limbo....good luck i hope he is back with you soon
2006-11-14 00:06:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first quit going out on benders. If your trying to set a family structure your taking the wrong steps. If time is what he needs then let him sort it out. But when you are back together you need to sit down and talk about where you both are heading in this relationship.
2006-11-14 00:03:51 · answer #10 · answered by Peloubet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋