We lost contact and only met each other this year after a period 13 years. Now we both can't stay each day without talking to each other. The passion is very strong. Do I allow this communication continue as it may lead to a relationship or do I just back out? Backing out will be tough on me.
2006-11-13 23:23:12 · 11 answers · asked by Foxxie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It seems you answered your own question, backing out will be tough on you, that only means that you are getting more attached to her everyday, that is wrong, would you accept your wife to be that close to her high school sweetheart? just be fair and just think that it will be tough tomorrow but even tougher next month, do it now and just put it in the back of your mind, it is always nice to be back to your first love , it is something you can never forget and that is only natural but don't let it ruin your life
Good luck with your decision
2006-11-13 23:35:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For most of my adult life I've always wondered what it would be like to meet up with my high school sweetheart. We had gone steady for three years and after I graduated she was still in school.
When she was a senior in high school each and every weekend I would drive back home from college and spend time together. We spoke of marriage, children and our future dreams with each other and one weekend when I came home I saw her making out with a guy.
That broke my heart and I ended the relationship on the spot.
Often times I question breaking up because it really sent her on a loop. It also sent me on a loop, but I still ask myself, "What if?"
A few years later I married. The relationship lasted for 12 years. During that time I had thoughts about the "What if?" crud and decided while I wondered how life would be, I wasn't going to delve into that curiousness for the sake of my marriage, our children, etc.
My reasons were based on what broke us up. While I knew we both loved each other terribly, somehow life wasn't intended to be swayed many years after the fact.
This is pretty odd since we both weren't sexually active at all during the time we dated. That 'bond' never happened, but we both wanted it to happen - even though we knew waiting would be better since we didn't want to somehow ruin the relationship by ending up with a child way too soon for us to finish schooling and such.
So, I never made the step to get back in contact with her even though at times I always wondered.
In your case you're wondering about what things could be and how to deal with how things currently are. You mention it would be tough to back out... Which is exactly why I never pursued my high school sweetheart.
The break up left quite a deep scar within me emotionally and I'm sure it did with her too.
Maybe my case is different than yours or other people's, but you aren't together and never married 'back then' for a reason.
That reason, is what you're trying to look past or find an excuse for; and then to move on as if this new-found or reconnected love affair is going to prosper and become more tightly intertwined than the marriage you're already committed to.
Take out the scales and balance what you and your husband have accomplished while being together. Hash over what your future holds if you end your marriage and end up with things not working out with your long-lost high school sweetheart.
To me, that's an empty barrel where a full barrel currently exists.
If you feel your life needs new passion, then tell your husband and you may be surprised at the results you'll get.
Good luck
2006-11-14 01:10:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both treading the water of unforbidden deep water----You HS sweetheart was a thing of the past---THE past and the memories of what happened then should remain in the PAST.
You're both married and have children----You need to stop playing with fire----Think of the lives you ruin by doing what you're doing! Divorce---children involved----uprooting the whole applecart in two families and destroying everything in your paths for trying to Salvage what should be a fond memory of HS and the joys you shared in the PAST...
NOW---you're in the PRESENT---you have a wife, she has a husband---and you both have children (i'm assuming)....Think of how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot and your wife was declaring passion for another MAN...HMMMMMM doesn't feel so good does it!!!!!
LET THE DEAD DOG LIE-------if you decide to lay down with the dogs you're going to get FLEAS....and man---you'll regret every minute of it too!!!
BE happy with what you have in your marriage, home, family, children---don't let that slip away from you with dipping your wick in the past from HS!
2006-11-13 23:32:20 · answer #3 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boo Hoo.... backing out will be tough on me....Gee I wonder how tough it will be on your spouses to find out you are emotionally cheating.
You need to stop all contact with this individual and pray that your spouses never find out. You risk destroying all that you have built over the last 13 years for an infatuation.
2006-11-13 23:29:48 · answer #4 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was recently in this situation. I was weak, he took the initiative and cooled things off. With us both married it was for the best. Focus on your family and your wife. It will hurt for a while but that is what is best for everyone involved. Maybe someday you can be just friends.
2006-11-14 13:31:27 · answer #5 · answered by I'm Trying 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
reunions over! run and save heartach all around before it was 2 hearts how many are there now? grow-up life decisions from this
becoming a relationship would be a disaster for everybody!you both made committments.....to other people.. get a grip!!!!
2006-11-13 23:34:37 · answer #6 · answered by tink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if both of u still like each other just have fun
enjoy nd leve
better dont stick to each oter as both of u r married
of remain as gud friends
sorry if am wrong
2006-11-13 23:27:40 · answer #7 · answered by anjali_luckygirl 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
which will be tougher? backing out of some silly high school thing or losing it all....and if you continue, you will lose everything.
2006-11-13 23:29:30 · answer #8 · answered by kiss me 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh ur a pair of idiots, and its all going to end in tears. end it now, or keep going like ur going and be prepared to lose everything.
2006-11-13 23:26:23 · answer #9 · answered by bettie b 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave her alone. You're just asking for trouble.
2006-11-13 23:35:12 · answer #10 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋