he hits me swears at me drinks alkahol too much and i cant be without him am i crazy
2006-11-13 22:33:08 · 15 answers · asked by goodheart girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sweetie, the fact that you're even asking this question should tell you enough. Obviously you know in your heart of hearts that his abuse is wrong. Any intelligent woman knows that she does not deserve to be abused.
Let me tell you from personal experience, he can kill you. It's not just some extreme way to get you to leave. It's fact. Without going into too much detail, I know someone who abused his wife for years and then murdered his own baby girl. His wife, to this day, visits him in prison. She has stayed with him despite his killing her only child.
So please think of yourself first. Remember that any woman can find a man better than the one you have now. Even if you're illiterate and funny-looking, there is always another illiterate and funny-looking man who will treat you right.
Good luck.
2006-11-13 22:45:04 · answer #1 · answered by Pearl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is complicated! I used to say when I was little that I would never be with someone that was mean to me... but when you get some alcohol into my husband (and it doest help that he is bi-polar either) he can get really verbally abusive! Dont get me wrong he has never laid a hand on me, but the things that he says to me when he is mad I would never wish for anyone to be told! ANYWAY! I think the reason why you cant leave is plain and simple.. you love him! Your like me, no matter how much you want to leave, you cant, because somewhere deep inside of you is a little glimmer of hope, hoping that he will change. And Im not sure about you but, when things are good things are really good!!! When I try to leave or divorce my husband, I cant, because I think of all the good times we have together, it's only those horrible moments when he gets mad or drunk that things are bad. So, maybe I need some advice like you, but I totally know where you are coming from. BEING TOTALLY REAL THOUGH, no woman should EVER have to deal with being hit! Leaving him is going to be the hardest thing ever for you, but once you do it, you notice day by day, that it will get easier and easier to be without him, till the point where he just becomes a memory. Go find yourself a good man, that treats you like you deserve to be treated!
2006-11-13 22:50:21 · answer #2 · answered by Heather K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon, we all have people that we love and adore, but we just can't be with them.
Find an Alanon meeting it is for friend & family with a drinking problem.
You are validating yourself by his attention that he give you when he is sober.
As I have gotten over I realize that the kind of love that you feel when you feel that you can't get along without that person isn't really love.
You are a woman and you need to be able to love yourself enough to make sure that you can stand on your own before you can be in a serious relationship.
2006-11-13 22:42:16 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen you can be without him, you need to get out. Love is not supposed to hurt. Do you think that he loves you, if he did he wouldn't be hitting you. Have you ever asked him why he treats you so badly? I think that you need to tell your family that he hits you and maybe they will be able to help you. What is going to take for you to realise that you need to leave him. I'm sure that you are a beautiful person, don't you think that you deserve better. Alos blaming it on alcohol is just an excuse
2006-11-13 22:55:19 · answer #4 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has complete control over you and you gave it to him. If you loved yourself at all you would leave him. He DOES NOT love you. you DO NOT deserve this.
You CAN leave him, but you choose to stay with someone who hates you because you don't love yourself.
Go to counceling and go to a House where he can't find you or get to you and call the police and report him and then get a restraining order against him.
One day he could kill you....
and don't have kids with him.
2006-11-13 22:38:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Co-Dependant---NOT CRAZY---
You need to find out within yourself why you choose to stay with someone who is abusive not only verbally but physically as well.
Is what he's doing to you working for you?
To be honest with you I lived in your very same situation many years ago----Alcohol--abuse---one day after 10 long miserable years---and beatings----I snapped ----I packed my children off and left him never to look back again!!! I did this in 1981 and have never regreted by decision to keep ME safe and my boys safe as well!
2006-11-13 23:00:45 · answer #6 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're not crazy. but take the view that this will never change and then leaving him - WHICH IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO - will be easier. you need support from friends and family and/or professional help. people who are truly in love do not treat each other this way.
2006-11-13 22:35:26 · answer #7 · answered by Thanks! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes! You obviously have very low self-esteem! You feel that this is all that you deserve in life. You must leave him, for your own sake!
2006-11-13 22:47:27 · answer #8 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is called co-dependance I know it will be hard but you have to get out of there know one deserves to be treated like that. The biggest problem is you are not alone too many people are expierences simalr to your own and they are too scared to get out
I beg of you please leave him
2006-11-13 22:54:08 · answer #9 · answered by whay i lost my ?s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need 2 get out of there , theres 100 times better men out there,my father abused my mother and its not nice u deserve better
2006-11-13 22:37:28 · answer #10 · answered by poppygis 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋