Why can't I get my head around it?

Question

I am having a bit of a crisis at the moment. I am agry and frustrated at life and I suppose in turn myself. I am feeling joy less and less and really find the day today drudge a struggle. On top of this I feel trivialised and ignored and only respected when I do things other people want. I work have a husband and children but I am not happy. I know the love is there but I am on the verge of something ... I dont know what. I have a few friends, but am happy being a loner really. I suppose really what I am trying to say is that life is not what I expected not is mother hood or marriage. I am disappointed with life. I am making steps to do other things to try and give me joy. It seems that life is a sea of disappointment with just a few islands of happiness. Why cant I see the joy and love in my life.

Answer 1

I understand you completely. I'm in the same place right now, but probably for completely different reasons (I am not a wife - wrong plumbing in the downstairs area - and the kids are grown up, flown the nest).
Don't look for the answers in the bottom of a liquor bottle - I tried that and all it does is give you an expensive and unhealthy addiction.
Sometimes, the thing that works best for me is conjuring a mental image of a simple cartoon that was doing the rounds a few years back. A Pelican or some-such large bird with a frog's rear legs produding from it's mouth, but also the frog's "hands" - the frog is attempting to strangle the bird and the caption reads - "Never give up".
Mail me sometime, we cah share shoulders to cry on.

Answer 2

I think you are feeling run down at the moment. Try taking some multi-vitamins and Omega 3 tablets from any Health store. You need to set goals, like if you do this and this, you will treat yourself to a trip to cinema. Plan a holiday for next year. You and your husband need to do things together, perhaps there is someone who can babysit for you one evening a week. You need to let your anger out, have a good shout and a few tears, you will feel so much better after that. Look at what you have achieved and what you got instead of what you expected to get. The grass no matter how green it looks isn't any greener on the other side. Talk to your husband about how you are feeling see if you and he can together come up with some ideas to bring a spark back into your lives. I never worry about how many friends I have, just the quality of them. I have one very best friend and we go out every so often, about once a month or less. When we meet up we usually spend a lot of time moaning about the kids, life, husbands, work etc. and find ourselves giggling like two teenagers because you can find the funny side of the negatives. You feel wonderful after this and are ready to take on the world. Make time to go out with a special friend and moan, giggle, let your hair down and laugh at your problems, you will feel so much better about yourself. You also have to remember that at this time of year, there is not nearly as much light about and it is quite often dull, this in itself will make you feel down. Hope you feel happier soon.

Answer 3

Everyone has these feelings at one point in their life and its always around xmas. You need to switch of the telly, don't watch/listern to any news its always depressing and that the last thing you want to do.
Do you work? If not try to make everyday chores a little more fun, put the music on full to you fav music and blitz the house after go for a walk, when you get back you'll feel a bit better, Join an aerobics class, exercise is another way to lift your spirits.
Make healthier meals, (not that you don't)
Get the kids to involve you more in their lifes, in the evenings play board games with your husband, avoid drinking alchol!

I went through something like this and if you don't try your best you'll just get deeper and deeper into depression.

Goodluck and don't worry, YOUR NORMAL:)

Answer 4

I'm in the same place, and have been for years. I go from being sad and depressed to utterly raging in anger, and have absolutely no control over it. I'm currently in the process of having myself diagnosed, possibly with bipolar disorder. I'm not saying that you have it, but what I am saying is this;

Grab the bull by the horns! Talk to your husband about it, let him know how you feel. He will understand. Then go and see your doctor. He/she will not be able to diagnose you fully, but will notify a consultant and refer you. I am seeing mine next week for the first time. Even though I have not yet been diagnosed, I feel MUCH BETTER having started the process, and even more so having started the process myself.

Don't wait until something happens, or until it becomes unbearable. Please!!! By tackling this problem, you will feel stronger, and your loved ones WILL support you. I promise you that!

You can always mail me if you need any support!

Oh and by the way, you are completely NORMAL!!!! :-)

Take very good care!

Answer 5

Been in this boat big time with you. Everyone has an emptiness within that can only be filled by God. Find a good bible believing church and give God a try. Here are two good places to start. http://www.livingwaters.com/goodmorning.shtml
Take the Are You A Good Person Test
and then go have a listen at www.gty.org
You cant go wrong with this.
Whatever you do , dont bale on your family. You are not missing anything out there. At the least, find a hobby you enjoy. A lot of happiness is in attitude and how you chose to look at things.
Hang in there!

Answer 6

Hi,I feel exactly the same way has you.I feel like leaving everything behind which is not much.Like you I have become a loner & feel trapped.Last month my mam died,I felt like this before then.However the loss has made the feeling unbearable.
Maybe its with winter setting in they say the long dark nights can affect people.I hope you find the happiness your looking for.Goodluck

Answer 7

sometimes it is hard when we grt into this frame of mind and it is hard to get out of too, one thing i learned to do was to try and notice one good thing each day about your life and think of that all day, then the next day choosee somthing else and see how that helps you. also try doing one thing each day that scares you, that way you will build up some self confidence, try keeping a diary of the times you feel happy then read over it when you are feeling down.
i hope this will help you to find some love in your life again.

Answer 8

I think you should go see your GP coz it sounds like depression... Depression is an illness remember...

I get these feelings when I'm due on, its horrible, I feel life isnt worth living, I have nothing and I'm not going anywhere... Its so scary, I just want to cry cry cry...

Please go see the doc, what harm can talking do?... Take Care....

Answer 9

u have to find something for you!!! you put yourself out for other people, now it is time they did it for you. get one of them to have ur kids for a couple of hours at the weekend and u + hubby go do something different - go to the pictures together or if moneys tight (as it is for me! lol) go for a walk round the park, hold his hand dont talk about major problems, just natter and enjoy his company.
you need hubby, tell him how u feel and do fun family things - a football in the park always gets us laughing, and laughter helps. smile babe, i hope this helps. x

Answer 10

This sounds like a mid-life crisis or depression. Get yourself checked out, get some councelling or even meds. Don't let this continue you can come through it.