In my hometown, you are considered a loser and a failure if you are not married by age 23,?

Question

and then have not one but several children and stay at home. It is a very conservative town and this is honestly what people, especially young women around here, think. There is a big rush to get married by age twenty and girls start their families in their teens. Now I am fine with it if it's what you want, but isn't that kind of standard and pressure on the average person causing some people to jump the gun at a young age before they're ready? Is someone really a loser for not getting married if it's the wrong time? I have noticed there are a lot of people on their third marriage and there are these young girls who complain that after they tried to force a guy to be a father by going off the pill and getting pregnant, he left them and the child.

Answer 1

so what? if u dont want to be married and knocked up, then dont accept any marriage proposals and practise safe sex. im sure marrying young works for alot of people - if its not for u, dont do it.

Answer 2

I am from Utah, so, I'm just wondering, do you life in Provo or Orem? lol
I got married at age 24 1/2. Perfect age, I think, as long as you're ready. We had children waaaay too early though, but that was accident! The pill didn't work for me.

The thing is, we are supposed to get married and have children. That's one reason why we're here. But, I do agree with you that many many young girls do not understand what real love is and what it means to have a family! They do jump in way too fast without thinking and then their children end up paying the price!

I have a few immature friends who got married way too young. They rubbed it in everybody's faces when they got married cuz they were "wanted" and "more pretty" or something stupid like that. well, most of them now are unhappy. They have A LOT of growing up to do.

Perhaps you could do some surveys, gather some statistics, and then write a letter to the editor of every paper in that State (Utah? hehe) and bring up your point and the statistics and results of your surveys. You really could get somewhere with this. Hopefully influence someone for good, you know? Save a marriage or two? lol

Good luck,
but don't forget why we get married in the first place.

Mormon's get married the youngest, have the most children, stay home with their kids (husbands provide), and they have the SMALLEST NUMBER OF DIVORCES in the world. Now, think about that one and ask yourself why that could be so.

Answer 3

You would be a loser if you bought into that town's backward way of thinking. No one should get married based on being or passing a certain age. As for a woman taking herself off the pill to force a man to be a father that is a definite no-no. This act would bread resentment in the man should he ever find out.

Answer 4

23 is really an old maid in parts of my rural state. My mother had 5 kids between 15 and 21 and girls here still start earlier than that as a general rule. I know of kids that have the same father as grandfather. I always tell people that I am on my way home to watch "Springer" to learn tolerance for those in my neighborhood.

Answer 5

Where ever you are. One thing they realize quite clearly that all males and female get a sexual urge when they are young. So instead of encouraging the behavior of the western people where I have read Girls as young as 12 and 13 have boy friends who they have sex with. They encourage marriage which is acceptable to the Lord. In every society there will be all kinds of people, third marriage and the issue of pressure to get pregnant is all part of the culture even if you do not agree

Answer 6

Are you Amish? In the Amish society a woman of 21 unmarried is an old maid. Getting married by a cetain age is not a societal norm. Just get married before you get her pregnant.

Answer 7

You are right, it's fine if that's what you want, but if it's not, don't fall into the trap. Marrying young is never a good idea and yes, it is the reason those people are on their third marriage.

Answer 8

this is problematic for a lot of people on right here to comprehend why you're able to enable what individuals think of impression the way you choose to stay your existence. Your good it is your custom yet does not or not this is great to stroll down the line hand in hand with this woman and her toddler and no you are able to truly care if she has been married previously. in case you quite love this woman with all your coronary heart then not something or no person would desire to stand on your way. you comprehend the previous saying " sticks and stones would ruin your bones yet names can in no way harm you" bear in innovations it is your existence no person else's and no ones corporation what you choose to do with it. it's time to get your head out of the middle a while and stay. everybody retains pertaining to her previous what previous she is a divorced woman with a toddler you're making it sound like that's a bad situation. If it is so significant to marry a virgin then go locate one solid success with that one.

Answer 9

Its the culture of your town but if your pressured to follow and you still many things to do aside from marriage like studies or work I think you have to move out but always think of other option aside from moving out it might hurt your family, weigh things before making a desicion. There are repercations for every action you make.

Answer 10

As humans we are all conditioned in some way or another. If this is what people believe that they want then good luck to them. My beef lies with unwanted pressures put on people by those around them.