is it wrong to be too kindhearted/friendly/honest/caring to other's?

Question

i have alot of friend's from all over the world, from growing up/schools/family close friend's/universitys(etc)but they are gone back to there country's now.anyway i have met alot of other people in new zealand they are cool but after 2yr's they started to change. they say that i am selfish & ugly & horrible because of my kindness & friendlyness/ honesty/ & careness.they say people like me that are honest & friendly etc are horrible & ugly is that true? is it wrong to be those 4 thing's? pls help me.pls tel me how to fix my problem of being those 4thing's thank u.& no i am not trying to hard & no i'm not those kind of people who try's to buy other's love and friendships that's a big nono.i'm just being myself and normal like every other normal person in this world.it's just the way i am,i like helping people .i like to know new people & learn differen't thing's abt there culture's etc.i know everyone's differen't & everyone's not the same only 50/50.pls tell me ur view's or advices thx

Answer 1

What? Of course its not wrong to be kind/honest/friendly/caring! Its part of being human to do this. If you don't ever, you are a psycho. If you do it all the time, you are Ghandi or something and people should build statues to you.Without those four things, society would fall apart. Horrible and ugly? I hope your friends are just kidding. Besides, no one should tell someone else how to live their life. You are you. If that you is a good person, so much the better. Too bad your current friends are so weird and mean.

Someone who merely talked about those four things might get boring after a while. Someone who acts on them never will. Keep it up!

Answer 2

I think you have answered my question to you which was going to be:
Honestly, why are you being nice to these people?

If your answer was for a specific reason such as impressing them, then you would be wrong to continue BUT your answer was, it's because you are the nice person and this is just how you are.

Therefore, I say that you need to continue to be who you are and how you are. There are way too many mean people in the world already. We don't need to lose another one to the dark side just to fit in. If your friends can't accept you for who and what you are they really are not your friends. I suggest you let them go and find others who will support your way of life.

This morning on the way to work I stopped and picked up a man and his 1 1/2 year old son who were hitch hiking. He was taking his son to the doctor so I took him out of my way and to the doctor. Would your friends say I was trying to buy love? I saw a need and I performed a random act of kindness. We need more love and less hate in this world. Don't ever change my friend!

Answer 3

Honestly, I think mainly what you're facing is cultural differences. People in different countries have different beliefs and customs about how helpful, how friendly, how honest, etc a person should be. I went to Norway a few times because my mom's from there, and the second time I went, I smiled at a random person on the street, because I'm like that. The person gave me this look that basically said, "I think you're crazy, wtf are you smiling at me for creep?! I don't even know you!" and I resolved instantly to never live there LOL! Later, Mom told me that one doesn't smile at people one doesn't know in Norway, you don't talk much unless you've been formally introduced, and more T_T I was like, WHAAAAAAAAT????!!!! that's messed up! but that's the way it is in Norway, and it's very different from where I live and grew up, California. For you to fit in, I think you need to study the culture a bit more and find out, hey how do these people act around each other? Do they help each other out, or are they self-dependent (or something) and don't ask for help much? Hopefully it'll help you feel a bit more welcome there ^^; If that doesn't work, I'd suggest trying to go to a country where you fit in better! Like California LOL we like to help each other out here. Except, California's not a country... yeah... the U.S. is different all over on how people act around each other XD good luck!

Answer 4

i've got examine a number of your questions and one situation you should manage and admit your incorrect with is the undeniable fact which you comprehend easily not something of excellent judgment. Being honest isn't correlated with retaining your guy or woman satisfaction, there is a few good judgment! What being honest ability is which you have faith in something, it has not something to do with satisfaction!

Answer 5

I think you are only these things in your mind. People sometimes see themselves much better than they are. And something in particular had to happen for you to ask a question of this nature, so why don't you just say exactly what happened then ask this type of question. We are only getting your side of the story. And say you are like you say, then maybe they are just sick of you, maybe because you are trying too hard to be perfect instead of just being yourself. that's what it sounds like. it doesn't matter either way, you seem to see yourself as imperfect and no matter what opinion people give you on this matter, you are going to believe what you think is there

Answer 6

Hey DARK ANGEL!! my experience is that helping others and being kind always pays off in the end. First you feel more mature than the average person and when something good happens to you, you happen to believe that there is this exchange of good things between you and the creator. But please do me one favor know the limits and dont fall prey to con artists!!

Answer 7

its wrong to give too much because it can play on others insecurities and although thats there problem, being friends with someone means being thoughtfull of their feelings.
you also have to accept that not everone is able to give without expectation, so think carefully before you overdo it.

Answer 8

Yes. If you are harming yourself by being kind to others, cut the hand to save the face.

Answer 9

Your problem is a sorry group of so-called friends.

Answer 10

ummm. I think your personal bias may be clouding your actual actions. If they are telling you one thing its because they are observing you how you act.

Think of a person killing another person because of his belief and bias. To him he has done a correct thing that may have been caring... but to everyone else they he is a murder.