I am from north india and believe that noth indians will be able to suggest me better answers as they understand the in-laws thing here. I am a baniya and married in a baniya family. settled in US with husband. got married this year and just came back to visit both parents as they both put up in same city. My mother-in-law wants me to give all my gold that i got in marriage to her. She otherwise has all the things i got in my marriage. But i don't want to give my gold to her. Parents-in-laws from a village and very conservative. They call names for my family. but my hubby is very nice. looking at him i can't answer them back but i don't want to kill my self respect either...will u be able to suggest a solution to this situation? how do i make my in-laws respect my parents too nad not push me for things and ask my gold back?
2006-11-13 21:36:07 · 5 answers · asked by priya 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Give her some gold and hide the other. You guys are good at that.
Or...give it too her NOW and take it back LATER...
2006-11-13 21:37:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The gold jewellery given to you in wedding both by your parents and in-laws and also the gifts you received are considered stridhan and belong to you solely. Tell your in-laws that Indians throw a lot of parties in US and that all Indians wear heavy jewellery in parties. If you dont have it with you you will feel awkward. Take all your jewellery along with you when you leave for US. You can otherwise say that immigrants have to give an account of the jewellery they possess. Otherwise It will cause problems when you get a green card. All the best.
2006-11-13 22:00:06 · answer #2 · answered by rams 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you think is right. Im native american/american indian and women are the most sacred of all things therefore in a marriage the man who seeks the womens hand in marriage gives the womens family gifts its a great honor to marry a women. But at the same time you do not disrespect your family or your in-law for anyreason. Or cause your family to be laughed at or humiliated. IF i was hurting my family i would just give the mother in law the money. Greed is bad and when you die you cant take money with you. IF you give her the money maybe when she die you will get it back.
2006-11-13 21:44:47 · answer #3 · answered by sweetie1995 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tread carefully. speak w/your husband. tell him what your mother-in-law asks of you, and see what he has to say about it.
for the time being...tell your mother-in-law that you will speak with your husband and ask what HE wants you to do first (since they are very traditional...perhaps they will respect you seeking your husbands advise first)....
i would just ignore the comments about your family. you love them, your husband is respectful to your parents..i think your in-laws are just trying to act like bullies. just smile, and ignore it. but see what your hubby thinks you should do, maybe HE can say something to keep them from being so heartless with their comments.
2006-11-13 21:42:29 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mine are both dead and now I regret not trying to get along better with them. :-(
2006-11-13 21:40:27 · answer #5 · answered by starrynight1 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋