2006-11-13 20:41:57 · 24 answers · asked by jennifer hall h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's hard to say if he's changed but if I were you, I wouldn't want to put myself into a situation where I will end up dealing with the same sh*t again should he revert back to his old ways. Once is enough.
2006-11-13 20:47:02 · answer #1 · answered by jdhs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I wouldn't take him back, because if you do things may be good at the beginning but you will always be wondering when he will turn. Also he was in jail for being abusive, so technically you helped put him in jail so he will have those feelings in the back of his head.
Did he have any counselling while he was in jail, hopefully he did. However I feel that if he abused you once he will do it again and you don't want to be walking around on egg-shells.
He may say that he has changed but is that a risk you are willing to take. If you still love him, then say that its too soon and he hurt you a lot. You want to know that he is really sorry for what he did and that he is making changes in his life to deal with his problems. You want him to see a counsellor. You want to know why was he abusing you, if he says that it was because of something that you did then you know for a fact that he hasn't changed and that it will happen again.
Bottom-line, you shouldn't put yourself in a position to be abused again
2006-11-13 20:51:00 · answer #2 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope.
Once your partner has crossed the line and inflict pain on you, he will continuously do it. For a person to go to jail for a crime he has commited, there is what we call " beyond reasonable doubt" . If he spent time in Jail, then a jury of his peers has found him guilty beyond reasonable doubt.
Also when a person goes to jail, most probably he has picked up newer, nastier habbits and its really up to you to find out if you want to.
The truth is that its a big risk. its a do or die thing.
He hurt you before.... he might kill you this time.... now he might be armed with better legal defenses and/or nastier ways of pain.
you decide.
as far as I'm concerned, life is too damn short. All of us have a right to be happy atleast once. Walk away and Start a new life friend.
good luck
2006-11-13 20:43:18 · answer #3 · answered by Low Pro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has NOT changed. That's a bunch of bologne!!
Any man who's spent time in jail is not a changed man. Do you even realize what goes on in jail and prisons?
They do each other, they do the police women, they do drugs and they talk more dirty than you can even imagine.
My friend took back her husband who was in for attempted murder and he is the biggest Ahole ever!! He's so abusive and mean and cruel and cold! Prison made him WORSE, but she thought he'd be BETTER!! Now she's MISERABLE.
He might be "fair" for awhile, but then that rage will come back stronger than ever before.
You must hate yourself. You must be so desperate.
Get over him. Get over your sad self. You are worth MUCH MORE than a big loser that he is! Don't feel sorry for him. Don't care about him. He doesn't love you. He doesn't care about you. Stop wasting your time.
I pray to God that you don't have any children with him, and if you do, get a restraining order against him and go to court and get sole custody of your children and if he wants to see them it has to be under STRICT supervision.
2006-11-13 20:46:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not going to judge anyone, but if it got to the point of being jailed for abuse, it doesn't look like it will stop. Remember, no matter how hard you try, you can't polish a turd. Think of yourself, don't be a whipping post.
2006-11-13 20:49:56 · answer #5 · answered by sluggo1947 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hurt you so bad he went to jail then why would you want him back? Why would you be with someone when you know there's a chance of abuse? I say you deserve better. Let him go beat someone else.
2006-11-13 20:45:29 · answer #6 · answered by tumbleweed1954 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him in jail....once abusive always abusive...He may have changed but he wouldn't be changing with me...Tell him you have changed too...Changed him for another man...Girl life is short...why stay with someone that wants to hit on you...Get a real man.
2006-11-13 20:44:47 · answer #7 · answered by Teena R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure, why not be the cliche abused wife that allows trash to trample all over her. While your at it, don't forget to let him get you pregnant so you can continue the never-ending cycle of abuse and ruin a life before it ever even had a chance.
2006-11-13 20:44:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately, you have to decide, but I do not think any physical or mental abuse is a healthy situation. Why risk it? Look for someone who does not have these tendencies. It's detrimental to your mental state and self worth to be with someone who treats you badly - it can make or break who you are and who you become. Empower yourself and know you are worthy, a beautiful person, a smart person, and able to do whatever you want to do in life. Decide with caution. And, good luck!
2006-11-13 20:47:29 · answer #9 · answered by intrigue899 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not right away, are you kidding me??
It is going to take a long time just to be sure that he is getting all the help he needs and he really wants to live a new way of life..
I would let him know that you will stay in contact with him and let him know he needs to stay in counseling or in a program ..and you will see what progress he makes befire you can take him back, 100 percent...
2006-11-13 20:46:35 · answer #10 · answered by The Chesire Cat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋