Question from a shy person?

Question

I am a shy person and feel comfortable when I am alone or only around my closest friends. I tried to change to be more extroverted and socialize with different kinds of people. Sometimes, I feel satisfaction by doing that, but I realize at the end of the day, I am the same shy person by nature and by trying to be someone that I am not, I feel tired and more unstable emotionally. My question is, should I continue to change to improve myself? Can trying to hard to change will ruin myself as a person?

Answer 1

I think you are totally fine the way you are. As long as you don't become a complete hobbit. Ending up a lonely person is horrible and is not where you wanna be. It is good you have close friends, and make sure you find someone you wanna be more than just friends, someone that also likes to be alone. That way you guys can be alone together. I am a very very sociable person, and love talking to people. I can make friends with anyone. But I dont. I like having a couple best friends. And a girlfriend, who I devote all of my time too. I like girls who are like me. Yes they are hard to find lol, cause not many people are like me. Well not that I see anyways. But that is who I am. And I like being me. So be you, and love it. Cause you won't be happy otherwise.

Answer 2

You can try to change, if that's what you want. If you want to become extroverted and feel comfortable in doing so, then by all means continue. But your shyness may be partly inherited. You may be introverted because your parent(s) are. There's no reason why you have to change. People are different in many ways and introversion and extroversion's just another difference. They use their energy differently too, that's proabaly why you feel tired trying to put more effort into changing. If you don't mind using up more of your energy to be more outgoing, that's fine. If you are comfortable with staying the way you are, that's great too (and you probably wouldn't feel so drained either). Your choice.
Trying hard to change yourself won't ruin you unless you really don't want to be this outgoing person. If you change into someone else, then you probably won't end up happy in the end. As long as you are true to how you are, change can bring great things.
You can also try smaller steps of becoming more outgoing. Don't stress too much on it, and when you have time, do out and try to meet people. Do it once in a while and not all the time. Conserve your energy, but at the same time, be aware of when you can socialize more without causing a strain on yourself.
I used to be extremely shy, but as time goes by, I've been to socialize bit by bit and now I am in no way an extrovert, but I'm satisfied with being quiet, but still able to talk to others when I want to.

Answer 3

Be whoever you want to be... dont always let society conform you. If you are comfortable with few people around you, thats ok. But we are animals at heart, for example, we are like wolves we need to travel in packs sometime and be with others sometime. In the end if you feel crappy pretending to be extroverted, then why do it. Over time you'll become more and more social, just dont force it to the point you are miserable.

Answer 4

MANY SHY PEOPLE COME OUT OF THEIR "SHELL" AFTER JUST NORMAL INTERACTIONS OVER A LONGER PERIOD OF TIME. but -- THEY DO SO BY BEING THEMSELVES. Genuine religious living helps many and CONVERSELY
many shy people loosen up by using alcohol as a "cure". Almost ALL become alcoholic as they quickly develop a psychological dependency on
their new found way of "feeling" a part of and uninhibited. If I were you, I would never drink.
My shy young wife developed a budding self-confidence from our relationship and marriage...with the confidence came a personality growth and comfort
with others in conversation and activities. Just give yourself credit for developing excellent LISTENING SKILLS [MUCH MORE VALUABLE THAN TALKING] and learn to ask more questions about others and what they think,
then pay attention. You'll do great!

Answer 5

Hi don't worry about trying to be a different person. I was in the same position as you until a few years ago!!! When the time is right you will become more outgoing and have more confidence in yourself and be able to socialize more. Just be yourself, there is nothing wrong with that!!!! Don't stress about it as it will only make the situation worse.

Answer 6

Never lie to yourself and try to be something you are not. THAT is what screws you up.

There is nothing wrong with being antisocial. I only have 2 people in my life, fiance and mother. no one else knows me, and I have no intrest in people. I'm fine with that.

If you are nervous around people, if interaction makes you uncomfortable to the point where it stops you from doing things you'd normally do or you avoid people, consider medication for social anxiety.

Being antisocail is ok if you just like it that way, but being shy can inhibit you from doing normal and important things.

Answer 7

Why do you feel the need to change? If you are happy with your life, enjoy and live it. Both my husband and eldest son are shy or introverted, whereas I and my youngest sons are extroverts. But we all go together really well and are all happy. Don't try toplease other people only try to be happy.

Answer 8

in some phase in my life, i was just like you, more or less.
What happened with me - or what i thought happened is - that i didn't pay attention to this issue as a big problem that had to be solved, as time passes by and as you grow older, you'll have to experience more, see new people, learn to deal with different people, you ll get to know yourself better, and value yourself better. When you get to the point that you become able to judge yourself objectively and value yourself, i think here is where your confidence build up.
My advice to you, is don't push it hard, be yourself, at least for the time being, and life will do the rest in its time.

Answer 9

hai friend,don't think about anybody around u.be assertive in ur thoughts.belive urself as u can able to move in the society.first of all identify urself that ur a member of society.ur differ from any other person in the society.ur having some high qualities than any other people.all the best fo ur bright future.

Answer 10

I think that you should not give yourself a label.
Just keep doing what makes you happy and mix with who you want to when you want to. Try and stay around positive people,
as much as you can and be actively involved in sport etc.
All the worry is what is making you tired.