Addicted to attention?

Question

I hope this doesn't sound too strange but is it possible to be addicted to attention. I feel like everything I do, is just to get someone to look at me or pay attention to me. My boyfriend especially. Anytime he says he loves me I can't help but think he's lying. I'm always pushing him away when he tries to kiss me in public. But then when he tries to walk away or gets angry I end up sobbing and causing a scene. I grew up in a conservative Midwestern family. My parents weren't affectionate to me and my sister and we never said I love you. I can't help but feel that this has caused me to have low self-esteem. I've suffered from an eating disorder on and off since I was in high school but I've never told anyone. I'm afraid if I tell him he won't take me seriously. Does anyone have any advice? Am the only one who has this problem?

Answer 1

Dont worry. You are not the only one. Attention-seeking behaviour is surprisingly common. Being the centre of attention alleviates feelings of insecurity and inadequacy but the relief is temporary as the underlying problem remains unaddressed: low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and consequent low levels of self-worth and self-love.

Human beings are social creatures and need social interaction, feedback, and validation of their worth.`The emotionally immature person, however, has low levels of self-esteem and self-confidence and consequently feels insecure; to counter these feelings of insecurity they will spend a large proportion of their lives creating situations in which they become the centre of attention.Attention seekers commonly exploit the suffering of others to gain attention for themselves. Or they may exploit their own suffering, or alleged suffering. Like:

The sufferer: this might include feigning or exaggerating illness, playing on an injury, or perhaps causing or inviting injury etc

The manipulator:A common attention-seeking ploy is to claim she is being persecuted, victimised, excluded, isolated or ignored by another family member or group, perhaps insisting she is the target of a campaign of exclusion or harassment.

The drama queen: every incident or opportunity, no matter how insignificant, is exploited, exaggerated and if necessary distorted to become an event of dramatic proportions. Everything is elevated to crisis proportions. Histrionics may be present where the person feels she is not the centre of attention but should be. Inappropriate flirtatious behaviour may also be present.

The feigner: when called to account and outwitted, the person instinctively uses the denial - counterattack - feigning victimhood strategy to manipulate everyone present, especially bystanders and those in authority. The most effective method of feigning victimhood is to burst into tears, for most people's instinct is to feel sorry for them, to put their arm round them or offer them a tissue.

Once you realise you are getting into the same trap of being attention seeking, it is easiest to stop and accept responsibilty for your actions. Its tough but it is also the only way out and i speak from experience. I used to play at being victim and often i fall into the same circle but it is upto that person to control and get out of it.

Answer 2

No Sweetheart you are not the only one with
this problem. Lots of people have it , yours
extends way back to your childhood where theirs just in too high school/or teen years where they thought they had to be the centre of attention. You should tell your bf about this it may bring you two closer together. After-all you told how many people about your problem , people you don't even know or who probably couldn't care less about you my dear. You are a Brave , Strong , and i must say a Beautiful young lady for posting your problem the way you did . If your bf loves you he'll understand and be more supportive towards you !

Answer 3

Okay, kudos... I am not going to pass judgement on you, and neither will most people. The true first step towards recovery in any addiction is admitting your vices that chain you. I applaud you. Yes, there are other people like you, and no they usually don't come out of the closet. Most women are more afraid of what people would think if everyone knew that they weren't "perfect". Okay, just to clarify my point, your boyfriend more than likely has all ready noticed your needyness for attention, believe me. He doesn't like it, it probably drives him crazy, however he would not want to alienate you in the process of letting you know this about yourself. I believe that there is medical help for you and your challenges, however if you are truly dedicated at resolving these issues, then I do not see why you would not do it. I find it amazing for a woman to actually have a breakthrough within their own selves in order to benefit themselves. So many women live in denial that keep them from actually bringing joy and happiness into their lives. Thank you for your question, it seems like an honest one, and it solidifies my thought and prayer that there are more women like you out here. I just hope one day I am blessed enough to have her in my life.

Answer 4

Are you my sister? LOL
Anyway sounds like you need to see a psychiatrist to help you with your self-esteem issues. This isn't meant to be an insult, we all need help now and then with our different issues. I take Paxil for depression and anxiety for many reasons. Have tried ALL the anti-depressants out there, too. This one seems to be working about the best of any of them. Don't give up if you have no success with the first doctor or prescription they put you on. Just search until you find the one that works for you.

Answer 5

i once had a eating disorder but i do not think i wanted attention...but i guess there is different reasons to get eating disorders..and it is bad when your family did not ever say i love you and give you attention..but i would try and start giving attention and be thankful for people that try to treat you good...and if you need help with the eating disorder i would seek help and them places do help you... i hope you do decide to seek help because if the eating disorder gets out of control it can do great damage to your body....good luck...

Answer 6

Everybody needs attention and appreciation ! Why we do things ? Just for us ? I don't think so .... It is normal for you to feel that you need his attention ....

Answer 7

juss tell ur self u r the best ...