Everyday of my life I have this fear that I just said something or did an action that hurt others. In the end, I always end up saying sorry to others. Most of the time, my friends said that I'm being sorry for nothing. But sometimes little action and/or some words can really hurt others without us realizing and I don't want that to happen.
I don't like hurting people and I'm very afraid of hurting other people's feelings. Because of this, sometimes people make use of me. I want to be nice to others but I don't want to be take advantage of.
2006-11-13 18:35:13 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Well if u know that u are being taken advantage of, then u have to stand up for urself and say "no". I know that's hard, seeing as ur the type of person that tries to be a good friend and make others happy, but learning to say "no" when u dont want to do something is the only way u wont be taken advantage of.
If you say something to a friend that is meant to be hurtful, then u do have reason to feel bad and apologize. But if ur just joking around, and the other person doesnt look or sound hurt, then dont feel guilty. It's ok =) And if u suspect that something u might have said or done is hurtful..well just ask the person if it hurt them or bothered them in any way. If they say no, then forget about it, and if they say yes, then apologize and move on.
2006-11-13 18:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should read the studies of Pavlov (sp). It's something your parents and teachers and such told you was the right way to be. Not that that is bad of course, just familiar, and easier. Try to take a second every time a situation comes up and guage whether or not you actually need to be nice. If someone says can I have a dollar for something and it was supposed to be for a soda for lunch just tell them it's for lunch. If someone needs a ride and you have time but no gas than say so. Keep in mind also that people are here to help eachother (use and be used). Like your job, they use you for production and you them for money, or your friends sometimes use you to vent after a stressfull day and so on.
2006-11-13 19:22:06 · answer #2 · answered by anton t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I worry about hurting other people's feelings too. But recognize that you are a person too and you are important too. It is not wrong to look out for yourself. You have to worry about your own feelings too and not just everyone elses.
It sounds like you have have good intentions towards your friends. If they are good friends, I'm sure they will recognize your good intentions rather than what you unintentionally say or do. Sometimes saying sorry excessively seems like you don't trust them when they say there's nothing to worry about. When you don't even trust your friends, you're hurting their feelings too. Not to mention its very annoying :)
2006-11-13 19:04:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES! I am such a pushover. I'm always asking people if I can ask them a question before actually doing it. I'll also say things like "I'm asking because I'm genuinely curious, PLEASE don't be offended but.." and things like that. I feel absolute terrible if I think I have upset someone. I think my case is extreme to be honest
2016-03-19 07:40:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop apologizing all the time, it only makes you sound weak. Just treat people like you would like to be treated and you won't have any guilt. In the span of a lifetime, what will it matter if someone misinterprets you anyway? The glass is half empty, isn't it??
2006-11-13 18:40:03 · answer #5 · answered by redalibi89 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will say sorry to others if I feel that if say/do something too strong. And I will think that how I would feel if something said the same thing to me. Sometimes, say sorry is needed but too much will make you feel weak, not confident in what you are doing. People might start taking advantage on you or step over your head. Sometimes, you need to think about yourself and your feeling too! Believe yourself, you will see things differently. Good luck!
2006-11-13 19:07:36 · answer #6 · answered by smurf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu lack self confidence.......stop worrying what other people think and just be yourself...........saying your sorry indicates you really have a "low self-esteem". You need to work on liking yourself.......the more you like yourself the more others will too. Try not to be so self conscious....no one is judging you except yourself.
Be good to yourself. And don't worry about what people think.........people generally appreciate honest opinions.
2006-11-13 18:48:32 · answer #7 · answered by jazi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you have someone in your childhood, mother, father, grandparent sibling who always made you feel that you were responsible for the negative happenings in their lives? Make your own happiness and allow others to share but never assume that you are responsible for their lives and what they experience. you will find that you have a more enjoyable friendship when you just listen.
2006-11-13 19:03:56 · answer #8 · answered by ava_weis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not feel you are worthy of friendships and that you are not good enough for others. God loves you as his child, just think of that as you probably had no love and were criticized as a child and even as an adult. Get help, you will be glad you did.
2006-11-13 18:58:18 · answer #9 · answered by Martha K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to You are a good person. You are able recollect the happenings of the day at night and you want to change also. Keep it up. Keep recollecting and try to rectify. It will not come overnight. It will come only by trying to be good. You will achieve it. Best wishes.
2006-11-13 18:41:57 · answer #10 · answered by R S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋